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Jesus Wouldn't Climb It
5.10+ YDS 6b+ French 21 Ewbanks VII+ UIAA 20 ZA E3 5b British
Avg: 2 from 1
vote
Routes in Penitente - Inner Canyon
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1 Percent T 5.8+ 5b 16 VI- 15 HVS 4c |
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10,000 Maniacs S 5.11c/d 7a 24 VIII 25 E4 6a |
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2 Percent S 5.11a 6c 22 VII+ 22 E3 5c |
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7/11 S 5.9- 5c 17 VI 16 HVS 4c |
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A Horse Named Man S 5.11d 7a 24 VIII 25 E5 6a |
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A Horse With No Name S 5.10b 6a+ 19 VII- 19 E2 5b |
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Air Jordan S 5.12d 7c 28 IX 28 E6 6b |
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Anatomy 101 S 5.8+ 5b 16 VI- 15 HVS 4c |
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Animosity S 5.12a 7a+ 25 VIII+ 25 E5 6a |
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Apes in Estrus S 5.10a/b 6a+ 19 VI+ 19 E2 5b |
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B1 or V5 S 5.12d 7c 28 IX 28 E6 6b |
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Bad Rap S 5.11a 6c 22 VII+ 22 E3 5c |
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Ball Bearings S,TR 5.8 5b 16 VI- 15 HVS 4c PG13 |
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Banana Slugs in Heat S 5.10b 6a+ 19 VII- 19 E2 5b |
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Black Jesus S 5.12c 7b+ 27 IX- 27 E6 6b |
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Black Sheets of Rain S 5.13+ 8b 30 X- 31 E7 7a |
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Bob's World S 5.10a 6a 18 VI+ 18 E1 5a |
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Breakdown Dead Ahead S 5.11a 6c 22 VII+ 22 E3 5c |
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Breaking Bob S 5.12a 7a+ 25 VIII+ 25 E5 6a |
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Brown Sugar S 5.11a/b 6c 23 VIII- 23 E3 5c |
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Bullet the Blue Sky S 5.12d 7c 28 IX 28 E6 6b |
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BVB American Hero (submitted as New Dihedral) S 5.10a 6a 18 VI+ 18 E1 5a |
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Candy Apple Grey S 5.10d 6b+ 21 VII+ 21 E3 5b |
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Cara de Hueco S 5.6 4c 14 V 12 S 4b |
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Children Of A Lesser Grade S 5.10c 6b 20 VII 20 E2 5b |
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Colville Express S 5.11d 7a 24 VIII 25 E5 6a |
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Concupiscent Curds S 5.10c/d 6b+ 21 VII+ 21 E3 5b |
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Creature Fear S 5.11b 6c 23 VIII- 23 E3 5c |
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Crucifixion Party S 5.13a 7c+ 29 IX+ 29 E6 6c |
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Dan’s Hideaway S 5.7 5a 15 V+ 13 MVS 4b |
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Dazed and Confuzed S 5.12a 7a+ 25 VIII+ 25 E5 6a |
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Dog's Delight S 5.10- 6a 18 VI+ 18 E1 5a |
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El Dedo Es la Llave S 5.10 6b 20 VII- 19 E2 5b |
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Forever Young S 5.12a 7a+ 25 VIII+ 25 E5 6a |
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Freddy's Nightmare S 5.12c 7b+ 27 IX- 27 E6 6b |
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Friday the 13th S 5.12a 7a+ 25 VIII+ 25 E5 6a |
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Golden Years S 5.12a 7a+ 25 VIII+ 25 E5 6a |
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Handle with Care T,S 5.11 6c+ 23 VIII- 23 E4 5c |
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Harvey's Wallbanger T 5.10 6b 20 VII- 19 E2 5b |
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Head Over Heals S 5.12a 7a+ 25 VIII+ 25 E5 6a |
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Heaven Can Wait T 5.10b/c 6b 20 VII 20 E2 5b |
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Hip Hop S 5.11a 6c 22 VII+ 22 E3 5c |
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How The West Was Won S 5.9 5c 17 VI 17 HVS 5a |
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Hueco Mania (submitted as Huecos Rancheros) S 5.9+ 5c 17 VI 17 E1 5a |
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I'd Rather Leia than Jabba S 5.11d 7a 24 VIII 25 E5 6a |
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Innocent Mission S V5 6C |
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Intimidator S 5.12b 7b 26 VIII+ 26 E5 6b |
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Jabba the Hutt S 5.11c 6c+ 24 VIII- 24 E4 6a |
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Jack and Diane S 5.10- 6a 18 VI+ 18 E1 5a |
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Jesus Wouldn't Climb It T,TR 5.10+ 6b+ 21 VII+ 20 E3 5b |
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Jewel of the Mild S 5.10c 6b 20 VII 20 E2 5b |
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Josie's S 5.12a 7a+ 25 VIII+ 25 E5 6a |
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Los Hermanos de la Penitente S 5.12+ 7c 28 IX 27 E6 6b |
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Los Hermanos de la Weenie Way S 5.11c 6c+ 24 VIII- 24 E4 6a |
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Morada S 5.12a/b 7b 26 VIII+ 26 E5 6a |
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Mourning in the Creak S 5.11a 6c 22 VII+ 22 E3 5c |
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Ms. Cool S 5.9 5c 17 VI 17 HVS 5a |
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My Body is a Cage S 5.12a 7a+ 25 VIII+ 25 E5 6a |
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No Intent S 5.12a 7a+ 25 VIII+ 25 E5 6a |
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No Sweat, No Vapor S 5.12a 7a+ 25 VIII+ 25 E5 6a |
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Not My Cross To Bear S 5.11b 6c 23 VIII- 23 E3 5c |
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Nueve a Seis S 5.9+ 5c 17 VI 17 E1 5a |
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Omnipenitent S 5.11- 6c 22 VIII- 22 E3 5c |
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Ordinary People S 5.9+ 5c 17 VI 17 E1 5a R |
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Passion Play S 5.11c 6c+ 24 VIII- 24 E4 6a |
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Pinch a Nip S 5.10a 6a 18 VI+ 18 E1 5a |
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Pink Moon S 5.12a 7a+ 25 VIII+ 25 E5 6a |
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Power Play S 5.14b 8c 33 X+ 33 E9 7b |
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Pumping Huecos S 5.10c 6b 20 VII 20 E2 5b |
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Ranck E S 5.10- 6a 18 VI+ 18 E1 5a |
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Reptiles Lust and Dogs S 5.11b 6c 23 VIII- 23 E3 5c |
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Rubber Bullet (open project?) S 5.14c 8c+ 34 XI- 35 E9 7b |
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Santa Cruz T 5.8+ 5b 16 VI- 15 HVS 4c |
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Schizoid Way S 5.12a 7a+ 25 VIII+ 25 E5 6a |
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Shady Lady S 5.10c 6b 20 VII 20 E2 5b |
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Shear Strength S 5.11b/c 6c+ 23 VIII- 24 E4 6a |
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Sheer Lunacy S 5.11c 6c+ 24 VIII- 24 E4 6a PG13 |
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Sister of Mercy S 5.12b 7b 26 VIII+ 26 E5 6b |
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Slabbo S 5.11d 7a 24 VIII 25 E5 6a |
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Slabbo Arete (submitted as Unknown 5.10d) S 5.10d 6b+ 21 VII+ 21 E3 5b |
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Slabbo Crossing (submitted as Unknown (5.6 ramp)) S 5.7 5a 15 V+ 13 MVS 4b |
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Soul Boy S 5.11c/d 7a 24 VIII 25 E4 6a |
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Tanks for the Hueco S 5.10d 6b+ 21 VII+ 21 E3 5b |
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Tao of Gymnastic S 5.10d 6b+ 21 VII+ 21 E3 5b |
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Thelma and Louise S 5.10b 6a+ 19 VII- 19 E2 5b |
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Thumb Slab S 5.9 5c 17 VI 17 HVS 5a |
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Thumb, The S 5.9 5c 17 VI 17 HVS 5a |
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True Penitence T 5.11a 6c 22 VII+ 22 E3 5c |
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Tweaker's Dream S 5.12d 7c 28 IX 28 E6 6b |
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Unbound S 5.11+ 7a 24 VIII 24 E4 6a |
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Unicorn, The S 5.14a 8b+ 32 X+ 32 E8 7a |
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Unknown Micah Memorial Boulder Left V2 5+ |
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Unknown Micah Memorial Boulder Right V5 6C |
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Unnamed 5.3 S 5.3 3+ 10 III 9 VD 3a |
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Unnamed 5.4 S 5.4 4a 12 IV 10 VD 3c |
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Unrepenitente S 5.11b 6c 23 VIII- 23 E3 5c |
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Vapor Trails S 5.12b 7b 26 VIII+ 26 E5 6b |
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Virgin, The S 5.13a 7c+ 29 IX+ 29 E6 6c |
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Warlock V2 5+ |
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We Found This Spoon S 5.8 5b 16 VI- 15 HVS 4c |
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| Type: | Trad, TR, 30 ft (9 m) |
| FA: | Darren Smith?, 2020 |
| Page Views: | 737 total · 12/month |
| Shared By: | Darren Smith on Jun 22, 2020 |
| Admins: | Leo Paik, John McNamee, Frances Fierst, Monty, Monomaniac, Tyler KC |
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Description
The crux is getting off the ground and into the crack. From there, some nice offwidth technique gets you higher. Then there is a jug followed by some face holds which allow you to reach the top.
It's actually a pretty interesting climb, but the lack of an easy TR anchor make it a bit of logistical effort. Still if you're an offwidth zealot, it's pretty fun and a way to get out of the sun.
There is a good chance it was climbed before, but I couldn't find any evidence in the San Luis Valley book or MP (and it is a bit hidden). Let's update the FA if we hear otherwise.
It's actually a pretty interesting climb, but the lack of an easy TR anchor make it a bit of logistical effort. Still if you're an offwidth zealot, it's pretty fun and a way to get out of the sun.
There is a good chance it was climbed before, but I couldn't find any evidence in the San Luis Valley book or MP (and it is a bit hidden). Let's update the FA if we hear otherwise.
Location
Head into the side canyon before the virgin painting towards "How The West Was Won". Stay on the trail, stay left at HTWWW, go 50 feet more, and then semi-bushwhack to another side canyon on the left. People go this way to scramble up to the top to put up TRs on things like "Not My Cross To Bear". See the beta topo. Note, there is a slot canyon before this that has some inferior OW climbs and a harder chimney to the top.
The route will be on the left, and you can identify it by the lack of a crack at the bottom with a nice rail on the right side to help get you up into the crack.
The route will be on the left, and you can identify it by the lack of a crack at the bottom with a nice rail on the right side to help get you up into the crack.
Protection
I used a single Merlin 8 and a #6 with a pre-placed anchor at the top (green and blue Big Bros with a tree way back as a backup). If you don't have an 8, a bouldering pad would work, because once you get into the crack (only a few feet off the ground), you can easily get to the #6 placement.
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