Type: Trad, 120 ft
FA: George Lowe, Dick Ream 1966
Page Views: 7,978 total · 43/month
Shared By: Peter Gram on Apr 22, 2004
Admins: Andrew Gram, Nathan Fisher, Perin Blanchard, grk10vq

You & This Route

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Access Issue: Gate Buttress Area Recreational Lease: Climbs on Church Buttress above vault remain closed Details


Callitwhatyouplease is the next major crack system right of the obvious Bushwhack Crack. The crack doesn't touch the ground, so it is necessary to climb for 30 feet or so through hollow flakes. Pro can be placed, however, making the opening safe.

Climb through the flakes, then traverse right to the main crack system. Follow this all the way until a set of chains. On the way, a couple of pitons are encountered, and then the crack widens to make the 5.8 crux. Another touchy move up top brings one to the top.

Rap with one rope (60m) down the gully to the right. It might also reach straight down the face, but I am not sure.


Standard Rack. I placed sizes from small up to a 3.5 camalot. The wide section narrows near the back which makes it not require too much big gear.


Peter Gram
Portland, OR
Peter Gram   Portland, OR  
The wide part of this climb can be seen in the beta photo. It is almost exactly in the center of the pic, about 20 feet right of the trees on Bushwhack Crack. Apr 23, 2004
Nathan Fisher
St George
Nathan Fisher   St George  
This IMO is the best of the Schoolroom area moderate cracks. One 70m will get you straight down the face. Jun 13, 2005
vincent pierce  
A fun offwidth? As this route demonstrates... it IS possible! The last 5.8 move was a big surprise and felt pretty hard. A 60m rope, with care, will get you into the trees on the right side of the base of the climb. Sep 27, 2005
Nathan Fisher
St George
Nathan Fisher   St George  
Took my wife on this today for her first "true crack" route. Needless to say, this may not have been the best choice, as she took 2 hours, cursed repeatedly, and moved one inch at a time. However, when she got to the top with her only falls doing the face sequence through the flakes, she was very proud of herself....beat up, but proud of herself. She may not do another wide crack for a bit, but she did this one. Sep 5, 2006
Craig Childre
Lubbock, Texas
Craig Childre   Lubbock, Texas
This line was incredible. This is one of the best off-width sections that I have ever done. My favorite was the arm bars and knee jam section. Perhaps because I have never felt such a solid knee jam, where I could just lean back and go no hands. I started off caving, where this is quite common, so I ate it up. I know many who hate OW's. The last few moves are a bit dicey, but it isn't too difficult to sit on the horn. Sep 8, 2006
A pretty fun 5.8! Sep 12, 2006
shawn Kenney
Draper, UT
shawn Kenney   Draper, UT
I will callitapieceofcrap. The bottom section if fun. The OW section at the top sucks. This is not a climb I would do again. Not hard just not fun climbing. Sep 13, 2006
this was a good route however I felt compared to other 5.8's around Little that this route was more like a 5.7. It protects super well and gives you a little bit of everything Aug 14, 2007
I found that the rock quality in the back of the OW was not that great, it seemed to crumble around my cams. However, this could also be that it is just kind of dirty as well. I took 2 #4 Friends and wished I had taken at least 3. Fun route but be careful what way you climb the OW section. Jul 20, 2008
Park City, Ut.
Woodson   Park City, Ut.
Wow! Indeed a fun offwidth! For some reason the first 5.6 move down low was touchier than the actual chickenhead crux for me. Go figure...The pro is excellent and there are still 2 pins at the bottom of the crack. May 26, 2009
Watch out for the wasps in the flakes. I just about got swarmed here. The "chickenhead-squat" at the top, is a classic. Dec 9, 2009
Matt Brodhead
Logan, UT
Matt Brodhead   Logan, UT
Great climb. The start had some really fun moves, and the wide section was pretty decent. Hint: knee jams. Jun 9, 2011
Christian West  
I really enjoyed this climb, my friend lead it today. I'd like to go back and lead it next time. Anyways I thought that move with the chicken head was awesome where you basically brought your foot all the way up to your hand on the chicken head. I thought it was a really fun crack climb, lots of bomber foot jams. The only part I felt was dicey was the last move, it was pretty awkward and the foot jam was a little precarious. Oct 20, 2011
Alex Quitiquit
Salt Lake City
Alex Quitiquit   Salt Lake City
Sweet route! I can understand the 2.7 stars for the fact that the route can't be rapped with a 60 (you have to rap into the 4th class gully at the start) and we experienced a micro epic when the rope got stuck around a chicken.

The offwidth is one of the easiest in the canyon. Feels less technical than crescent crack ... takes a bomber #3 BD that can also be walked. The bottom protects well with nuts. Apr 22, 2012
Salt Lake City, UT
timmay   Salt Lake City, UT
The anchors on this route need to be replaced. One of the bolts can be wiggled and slightly pulled out of its hole. The other bolt is a spinner and also somewhat shady. I backed it up for the rappel with a sling around the chicken head near the anchor. Apr 28, 2012
AL .
AL .   UT
Where are the anchors???? My guide book says there is supposed to be an anchor on a huge tree, the only tree is across the gully. The only bolt anchors I saw were at the top of "chicken little" which caused a huge amount of rope drag. Apr 8, 2013
Los Alamos, NM
Aerili   Los Alamos, NM
Not that it wasn't just gaping enough to require some sweat and wide techniques from me, but I think this could be considered offwidth lite.

You'll probably want to walk a #4 through that part, but I was glad I judiciously placed smaller pieces in the back of that crack when possible and preserved the 4 (as well as my #2) for the end.

Overall more difficult than Bushwhack (even in the non-wide sections). Fun to ride the chickenhead before topping out. But I wonder... how many partners has that chickenhead had? May 22, 2013
Ryan Arnold
Ryan Arnold  
Harder than Crack in the Woods. I brought a number of small cams, a #1, #2, #3, #3.5 and #4, and nuts. Wished for a few more large cams for the OW. It's a full 35m so rack big! May 13, 2014
Huli Hutu
Huli Hutu  
As a beginning trad leader, I felt a little uneasy on the flaky section at the bottom of this climb. However, I had a blast once I reached the offwidth and was able to cruise the rest of the climb on knee jams and armbars. In my opinion this is the best climb that I have done in Schoolroom thus far. May 27, 2014
Crag Turkey
Holladay, UT
Crag Turkey   Holladay, UT
One of my favorite 5.8's up little. It was extra exciting finishing the climb seconds before a torrential hail storm. Great start and the offwidth is very secure. I used cams from .3-3 in the off width. Much more fun than bushwack in my opinion. This would be a good first OW climb if you havent led OW before. Don't pass this one up if your at the schoolroom! Aug 13, 2014
Jack Stauss
Jack Stauss   SLC, UT
Heads up: The pitons are gone. Don't know who stripped them or why but they are definitely not there.

Great climb regardless and still pro's up just fine.

Although I slogged up the OW I enjoyed it. Found the crux to be about 1/3 of the way up that wide section. Jun 2, 2015
Another one of my favorite climbs....really sad that the historical pitons were removed, I mean you can't use them anywhere else...and they definately were NOT loose, kind of like Nazi book burner mentality. Jun 3, 2015
Allen Sanderson pulled them. I hear he has a lofty collection of pins from the Wasatch. Jun 4, 2015
So he must have a few painted blue that also often supplement 1 hand drilled bolt station rappels. Curious collection of a rock scarring activity.... Jun 7, 2015
Allen Sanderson
On the road to perdition
Allen Sanderson   On the road to perdition
Yeah, they got pulled last fall with my nut tool. It did not take that much to pull one of them, the other was better. But given their age and there is good safe gear placements there was no need to replace them with new fix gear. I gave the pins to a couple new climbers as souvenirs who climbed the route that day.

FWIW I would rather see the pins be removed than have a death due to bad pin(s) (ala Black and White, John and Mary and Satan's Corner). Of the dozen or so pins I have pulled over the past 20 years several came out with my fingers. James, no blue pins, none historical, just nicely rusted, corroded, and not to be trusted. And as always I never pull a pin unless there is good gear to replace it. Jun 12, 2015
Boissal .
Small Lake, UT
Boissal .   Small Lake, UT
Nice edit Allen, you had a different story this morning... Were they solid? Are you the pin goblin? Did you lie to my face about all the Ferguson pins too? Go replace bolts instead of disappearing pins.

Also, what the fuck is it with this place and people rewriting the history they're already making up as they go?

Allen Sanderson wrote:Sorry grk10vq but yer talking out yer ass. While I have pulled a fair number of bad pins over the years those pins were buried and not bad.
Jun 12, 2015
Allen Sanderson
On the road to perdition
Allen Sanderson   On the road to perdition
No to all. I was thinking about a different route so I apologized to Greg and corrected the post. Simple as that. Jun 12, 2015
Gary Jones
Cottonwood Heights, UT
Gary Jones   Cottonwood Heights, UT
dont need anything big, climbed it today with nothing bigger than #2 Feb 27, 2016
West Jordan, UT
Ryan202   West Jordan, UT
Lead this today. I used nothing larger than a 0.75 cam. I was concerned with saving the #1's, 2, 3, and 4 that I ended up being more efficient. I placed the #4 at the very end simply because it was a gimme. Placed 3 or 4 nuts, 0.4, two 0.5 cams, 0.75 and the #4 at the end. May have had something else in there. Needed redemption from a downright embarrassment attempt a few years ago.

We rapped into the "gully" at the right of the base of the climb. When rapping from the top, stay on the edge (climber's right) on the main face, don't drop over that right edge. Used a 60m. Mar 2, 2016
BrokenChairs ~
Seattle, WA
BrokenChairs ~   Seattle, WA
I thought this was a really great climb. We jumped on because there was a queue at Bushwhack and we only had an hour of daylight left; glad we made the choice to climb CIWYP. I enjoyed this OW so much more than Crescent Crack's 2nd pitch and it's totally worth doing if you're in the area and BC is queued. Used cams from .3-4 Camalots and I believe a size 2 C3. 70M rope will get you back to start with ease. Also we took another lap on it and tried the chicken head slab to the climber's right of the main crack. This was super fun similar to the first real move before the big jug at the start. Worth lapping if you have the TR set up. Keep your hands out of the crack to keep things interesting. Mar 18, 2016
I was able to do all passive gear up to the first handjam where it widens up. Interesting climb. Aug 29, 2016
Alex Temus
Alex Temus   Utah
Really cool climb! I enjoyed it more than Bushwhack and much more than Beckey's.

If you're concerned that your 60m might not reach the ground when rappelling from the bolts, you can do the descent in two rappels. the first is short - swing to the left from the main chains to a second set off to the left that are probably 20 feet closer to the ground. My 60m made it to the ground from there with probably 8 feet to spare. Aug 13, 2017