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Routes in Funk Rock City

Appalachian Spring S 5.13a 7c+ 29 IX+ 29 E6 6c
Cruising Lane T 5.10a 6a 18 VI+ 18 E1 5a
Emphysema T 5.11a 6c 22 VII+ 22 E3 5c
Eye of the Needle S 5.11b 6c 23 VIII- 23 E3 5c
Frugal Chariot S 5.12a 7a+ 25 VIII+ 25 E5 6a PG13
Funkadelic S 5.10b 6a+ 19 VII- 19 E2 5b
Glory Be S 5.12a 7a+ 25 VIII+ 25 E5 6a
Go Easy Billy Clyde! S 5.12a 7a+ 25 VIII+ 25 E5 6a
Goodstone T 5.10c/d 6b+ 21 VII+ 21 E3 5b
Hardcore Jollies S 5.12a 7a+ 25 VIII+ 25 E5 6a
Headstone Surfer T 5.10a 6a 18 VI+ 18 E1 5a
Infidel, The S 5.11d 7a 24 VIII 25 E5 6a
Joe Camel T 5.8+ 5b 16 VI- 15 HVS 4c
L'ile Au Ciel S 5.11c 6c+ 24 VIII- 24 E4 6a
Local Color TR 5.10b 6a+ 19 VII- 19 E2 5b X
Manic Impression S 5.10a 6a 18 VI+ 18 E1 5a
Orange Juice S 5.12c 7b+ 27 IX- 27 E6 6b
Prime Directive S 5.11b 6c 23 VIII- 23 E3 5c
Red Hot Chilli Pepper T,S 5.10d 6b+ 21 VII+ 21 E3 5b
Rite of Passage T 5.9+ 5c 17 VI 17 E1 5a
Seppuku S 5.12d 7c 28 IX 28 E6 6b PG13
Smokin' Joe S 5.11b 6c 23 VIII- 23 E3 5c
Sparkey Goes Crack Climbing T 5.6 4c 14 V 12 S 4b
There Goes the Neighborhood S 5.11c 6c+ 24 VIII- 24 E4 6a
Up Swift Creek Without A Paddle T 5.9 5c 17 VI 17 HVS 5a
Veldhaus Route T 5.8 5b 16 VI- 15 HVS 4c
Type: Sport, 90 ft
FA: Hugh Loeffler, 1995
Page Views: 6,383 total, 65/month
Shared By: Monomaniac on Nov 12, 2009
Admins: saxfiend, Jason Halladay, Shirtless Mike

You & This Route


47 Opinions

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Description

How did Porter miss this 'Heinous Cling' of the Red? This unbelievable orange streak of sculpted pockets & edges is surely one of the top five lines in the Red. Few lines anywhere rival this route for quality & continuity.

Despite its location far off the beaten path, OJ sees constant traffic even on weekdays, and should be on every 5.12 climber's list. With 90 unrelenting feet of technical face climbing split by great rests, culminating in a devious crux 70 feet up the wall, this route will test all of your face climbing skills, and more than a bit of your resolve.

Begin with long moves up the short slab. The angle kicks back at the first bolt, as a short warmup leads to the first crux at the second bolt. An engaging series of short boulder problems follows, all split by good shakes in the juggy horizontal bands that split the wall. Around the 7th bolt, one harder move leads to an enormous jug, just below the crux. Get a good shake here, figure out which tick marks to believe, and hang on as long as you can. If you're not hanging from the end of your rope by now, get one more good shake for another tricky section of 2 finger pockets & thin edges, ending at a huge horizontal break. A few more thin moves on slabbier terrain lead to the anchor.

Location

Follow the Funk Rock cliff line east past the large fenced off overhang, and past the slightly overhanging parallel bolt lines of Appalachian Spring & Seppuku. The wall curves in a bit just past these last two routes, and you will pass one more bolted line "There Goes the Neighborhood". Orange Juice is the next bolted line, climbing a heavily chalked, brilliant orange streak.

Protection

10 bolts, 2 BA.
Curt MacNeill
Boulder, CO
 
Curt MacNeill   Boulder, CO
 
Whats both crazy and alluring about this route is both its location and beauty. It's not the Motherlode and its certainly not steep, but I got to tell you..... It's THE best route I have done at the Red. The funny thing is its a bit out of character. It's nor steep and more techy face climbing. It is AWESOME! Do it and you will be sure to smile.... Apr 21, 2014
Does this route catch any day time shade during the middle of the summer? If so what time? I'd like to try to do it during early August, but I don't want to tangle with it in full sun. Thanks. Jul 29, 2013
camhead
Vandalia, Appalachia
camhead   Vandalia, Appalachia
Amazing route. The moves from the second to third bolt, while perhaps not the hardest on the route, are definitely the mental crux. If you blow the final move to the right jug/flake, it would be a kind of messy fall, possibly into the slab if your belayer is slacking.

(DO NOT READ FURTHER IF INTENDING TO ONSIGHT THIS ROUTE)

There are two upper cruxes, in my opinion. The first is a series of small crimps (with lots of chalk, as Lee said), which culminate in a big move. The higher you go, the shittier the holds get, but the less you have to lunge. I make a long, full dyno from some lower, relatively good crimps. My wife (5'2") moves higher into "not holds" and still has to throw for the jug. This was the crux for her. You get to a great shake spot after this section.

Above this is a series of tiny pockets and edges with hard feet. The difficulties concentrate around a sort of horizontal flared "buttcrack" feature with a mailbox slot in the back. Most normal fingered guys will not be able to get fingers into this feature very securely. You then move up through a series of shallow monos before moving right to good crimps, then another thank-god jug. Nov 21, 2011
esha  
one of the purdiest routes i have ever seen Dec 29, 2010
Monomaniac
Morrison, CO
 
Monomaniac   Morrison, CO  
 
When we first showed up in the morning we were the only people there, and it reminded me exactly of Australia. Climbing in the middle of nowhere, with virtually no trace of human passage, except for chalk & a line of bolts. Then the crowds showed up. Oh well!

There definitely is a hard section at the start, but probably no harder than ~12a with good beta. Your description of the crux is spot on--lots of chalk but not a lot to hold onto. Nov 16, 2009
LeeAB Brinckerhoff
ABQ, NM
 
LeeAB Brinckerhoff   ABQ, NM  
 
YES, truely one of the great lines anywhere. If you climb 5.12 you should not just do this route if you are at the Red, you should plan a trip to the Red to do it!!!

I recall the first bit being quite difficult then pretty cruiser till the crux which involves a lot of chalk on the rock and not much to hold in that chalk. Based on what Mono says it has gotten a lot more popular since I did it in 2001, at the time my girlfriend (now wife) and I were the only ones at the cliff all day, it was actually a bit creepy with how remote it is. Nov 13, 2009
Monomaniac
Morrison, CO
 
Monomaniac   Morrison, CO  
 
To answer my own question, here are comments from MR. Loeffler posted on RedRiverClimbing.com:

"...Neal Strickland, Dave Lutes and myself were developing FR. Then Porter got wind of it and showed up. Not that we cared if Porter would show up, but we knew he was capable of bolting the entire wall in a weekend. Hence "There Goes the Neighborhood" by Neal. Then, Porter responded with his route, "The Infidel". I was with Porter one day app 40 ft left of There Goes the Neighborhood" and we were both gazing up and spied the line that is now OJ. I knew that if I wanted this route, I better skip work the next day and get down there and do it. So I did. The next weekend Porter was back and visibly distraught to see bolts ascending OJ. I let him TR it. He flashed it, of course. I have never regretted snaking that route." Nov 12, 2009