New River Punks

I love climbing: the process, the people…..the meaning we get to create. And I love climbing here in the New River Gorge: the stone's beauty, the movement, the technical challenges. I had a blast going to JYard and working on this thing. I hang out there quite a lot climbing alone, so over time I’ve had many chances to just look at the rock: its intricacy and its potential. Always looking through that lens, this arete stood out to me as an obvious feature with unique and climbable stone, so on I went. Credit for both the name idea, and the initial beta, go to Autumn. 

When naming and describing new routes, my sentimentality and nostalgia always leak through. In thinking of a name for this one, my first thought was “Another Man’s Treasure”, because this route could certainly be considered as one man’s trash, and because that idea fits in with the Junkyard theme. It’s also only thirty or so feet of “new” climbing, and I’m thinking it has certainly been top-roped over the years. It’s definitely been considered. However, as one with a knack for ferreting out the leftovers and getting psyched to fill in the gaps, no matter their mediocrity, it was a worthy endeavor for me and ended up being quite special. It feels pretty real once you’ve tied in and decided to leave the ground, and I had to work on it because I’m currently lazy and weak, but it’s actually pretty reasonable when it's all said and done.

Lastly, the fact that I was able to put a lost friend’s gear to use on the “first ascent” also lent great meaning to the climb, at least for me. If there were to be a group of this route’s name, Paul Nelson would certainly have been a member, and boy what an eclectic group of folks that would be. Paul was a punster, a jokester, and a genuinely positive and deeply knowledgeable human being. His enthusiasm was always infectious to me, and he was loved so much by this community. Paul was quirky, and when I saw that the folks here loved him like they did, I felt like it was a place that I also might be able to fit in. This climb, in both name and nature, is similar to his route at Bridge, “Are You an Idiot”. I’d like to think that Paul would have been psyched on it, and the slight change on an already-existing route name is a tip of the hat to him and his wordsmithing. Last year for his birthday, I offered him up one of the first ascents I found just around the corner, the one called “Bo Knows”. I figured he would dispatch it pretty quickly and was psyched to climb a new route with him. He was feeling more up for bouldering that day, and I wish I’d gone with him to have just a little more time. But alas, that’s life in retrospect.  

Just right of New River Gunks. Start on the lone, obvious, sharp crimp, right off the boulder under the arete. The beginning moves are certainly the hardest, and these get you to the lone first placement. Once you’ve bouldered up to and placed that first cam, the moves follow directly up the arete, passing a couple more horizontal cam placements in the process. If you turn your brain off and just follow the arete, not looking for ways out, you’ll likely climb this as I did. Once you're locked into the moves, veering into the routes on either side feels unnatural anyway. You’ll arrive on the ledge that both New River Gunks and Junkyard Dog share, then it’s done. 

I ended up using a BD .75 in the first obvious slot about 15 feet up, just right of the arete. I tried various stopper orientations and other brands of cams in the process. Other than that, you'll just want a few more small cams for the horizontals, and whatever you want for the easy top half. Bouldering pads are also pretty essential for the first moves. A fall without them would be bad.