Red Flag Phrases

Dustin B wrote:

'my new route is good, it just needs some traffic and it'll clean up well.'

Fuck off with that shit.

Hey, I represent that statement. Leave my dirty slabs out of this you goof.

Also,

Has anyone mentioned the phrase “Metal on Metal” yet? It’s a top ten indicator of “I’ve been climbing for 9 months on youtube”.

Tyler Stockdale wrote:

Hey, I represent that statement. Leave my dirty slabs out of this you goof.

Also,

Has anyone mentioned the phrase “Metal on Metal” yet? It’s a top ten indicator of “I’ve been climbing for 9 months on youtube”.

Metal on Metal = INSTANT DEATH. 

grug g wrote:

Metal on Metal = INSTANT DEATH. 

Metal on Metal =

Softgoods on Softgoods =

Good call Fritz.   Is there a bigger red flag than Nickelback? 

Mark Pilate wrote:

Good call Fritz.   Is there a bigger red flag than Nickelback? 

This is a good candidate for the “thumbs down” feature.

"So, are you guys on Instagram, or what?"

Jimmy Strange wrote:

“(Insert name of instagram instructor) says…”

Or for the oldies;

“Mark Twight says….”.

I say, referencing Mark Twight is a GREEN flag, hopefully they don't act like him though 

MattH wrote:

"So, when you get to the top, all you have to do is..."

If you hear this at the crag, exit the vicinity.

the amount of times i've seen this at the crag when people are teaching how to clean sport anchors. then have to rescue them from the top right after

“I never wear a helmet when I lead.” I’ve worked with folks(men generally) with TBIs from doing dumb shit, and Ill tell you it scared me straight into never going without a helmet. I don’t trust people who don’t wear helmets. Unpopular opinion but your brain is such a gift.

“I dont use a friction hitch when I rappel, it takes too much time.”

“i can never find reliable partners.” Usually a good reason for that.

Anyone who quotes things too often or tries to be “the funny guy” at the crag constantly. Big red flag for me.

Complains about “Tradiban” on the hike in.

Tradiban wrote:

Complains about “Tradiban” on the hike in.

I dunno, I had a great time climbing with your parents and that was all they did on the way in.

Dan D wrote:

I dunno, I had a great time climbing with your parents and that was all they did on the way in.

How was the threesome afterwards?

Sockeye Scully wrote:

“I never wear a helmet when I lead.” I’ve worked with folks(men generally) with TBIs from doing dumb shit, and Ill tell you it scared me straight into never going without a helmet. I don’t trust people who don’t wear helmets. Unpopular opinion but your brain is such a gift.

“I dont use a friction hitch when I rappel, it takes too much time.”

“i can never find reliable partners.” Usually a good reason for that.

Anyone who quotes things too often or tries to be “the funny guy” at the crag constantly. Big red flag for me.

Anyone who can't shut up about how everyone should wear a helmet is a big red flag I agree. 

MattH wrote:

"So, when you get to the top, all you have to do is..."

If you hear this at the crag, exit the vicinity.

Followed by 40 minutes of a group of people shouting vague and conflicting instructions from the base 

Just belay them from the top if  you're  going to teach cleaning god dammit 

Luke Lalor wrote:

When I hear "I'm mostly an alpine climber" from anybody who isn't pretty strong I just just hear "I'm not used to catching falls"

You hear this from a dude who owns an arc'gucci softshell and complains about comp sets at the bouldering gym. I would love a whole thread of shitposting of this dude.

Dan Bookless wrote:

I say, referencing Mark Twight is a GREEN flag, hopefully they don't act like him though

"So the thing about the Canadian grading system is that it references relative danger and difficulty as a whole..... " (has top roped a WI4+ once)

"Well, mixed climbing is the thing that we used to do to GET to the ice" (this person was born in 2010 and has been to Ouray once)

"So I listened to Skinny Puppy after reading Kiss or Kill..." (spotify has a playlist dedicated to the Mark Twight mix tape from the Slovak Direct article)

"Mark Twight's photography is actually good! I swear!" (Mark Twight is not a good photographer by so many, many metrics)

"I am doing a lot of zone two training on the wall right now" (me, hogging the v2 at the bouldering gym by climbing up and down and unironically using the treadwall)

"I own Extreme Alpinism" (also me)

Anyway, I am the Mark Twight red flag factory. 

Tradiban wrote:

Complains about “Tradiban” on the hike in.

I’m a regular here and I can’t say I’ve spared you a hike in rant. That changes now, Tradi, I swear it to you.

“I was once walking down to the rostrum with someone I had never climbed with before” and “the last rando I climbed the Rostrum with” sounds pretty sketchy to me, lol

Tradiban wrote:

How was the threesome afterwards?

Oh, I misspelled "threesome" as "climbing"