Stopping dick measuring contest on the forums

About half of the threads end up in a dick-measuring contest, so I propose a solution to this critical problem.

Mandatory dick size measurements for anyone who wants to post on the forums. We can make it mandatory to have your dick professionally measured and display the size next to your name. I think this solution will not only stop needless fighting but also help fuel the economy by supporting the dick-measuring industry in America!

This is a joke pls noone kill me 

My dick may be short, but my foreskin is long.

your shit look like you're 14

It’s not the size of the schlong in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the schlong er somethin like that

Basically the plot of Episode 213 of South Park "TMI" 

With hilarious results. 

I lost part of my foreskin in my first fishing experience. It was really tough getting the hang of how the fishing hook was supposed to be tied to the string. During my first throw, I forgot I stashed the hook inside my glans instead of tying up properly and I was soon rushed to ER for a patch up. Great day out!

I looked up your tick list and now know everything you say is wrong 

It’s not about the size of the dick or vulva. It’s about what you pee on it with.

Highest pee wins. 

Chad Miller wrote:

It’s not about the size of the dick or vulva. It’s about what you pee on it with.

Highest pee wins. 

Sounds to me like the "trickle down" theory - theoretically, everybody wins

Steely Dan to the rescue!

We need to get admins here ive yet to see a good reason why this isnt a good idea

When I was a wee lad Grandpapa Jabroni challenged me to a pissing contest, a fairly common occurrence at family gatherings. I at the time was being quite the little shit and physical discipline worked to no avail to the standards of the time. Well he instructed the direction of aim and on the count off three quickly jumped for cover. I, the young pisser I was, initiated with gusto only to be completely soaked by my own urine as he had chosen the direction straight into the wind. 

The answer is obviously a bigbro …

Jabroni McChufferson wrote:

When I was a wee lad Grandpapa Jabroni challenged me to a pissing contest, a fairly common occurrence at family gatherings. I at the time was being quite the little shit and physical discipline worked to no avail to the standards of the time. Well he instructed the direction of aim and on the count off three quickly jumped for cover. I, the young pisser I was, initiated with gusto only to be completely soaked by own urine as he had chosen the direction straight into the wind. 

Growing up in cattle country where they had electrical fences, I was once "double dared" to pee on a fence. The good news is that a hospital visit was not needed.

You are wrong and also I hate you because of your age and also you are a bot because your opinion is different than mine. Hahahahahahaha I've never once in my life ever thought I was wrong

Rather than measure, how about smell?

https://youtu.be/3fNaxzECUC8?si=_lfhD7Xx-Y9ucSO4

amarius wrote:

Sounds to me like the "trickle down" theory - theoretically, everybody wins

You win the internet for the rest of the week!