Dirtbag Vehicle Ranking

After too much work, I give you the Dirtbag Vehicle Index: essentially all of the AWD/4wd cars, minivans, and SUVs from the past three decades that you can maybe possibly live in, all ranked according to your personal criteria. 

Care more about livability than offroad capability? Prefer cost savings to safety? Reliability over mpg? Think clearance is overrated and approach, departure, and breakover angles are what really matters? Get ready to fine tune it all.

The one thing the Dirtbag Vehicle Index won’t tell you to do is to buy a Sprinter Van. Or any full-size van. You can stand up in you’re car? Clearly you’re not a dirtbag.

Public link available here. Make your own copy and discover just how hard it is for a dirtbag to not end up in a minivan.

Some nice data but 2021-2022s and big gas guzzlers are not dirtbag. 

AWD/4wd isn't a deal breaker, clearance is more important for a dirtbag vehicle.

Nissan NV200, Toyota Sienna should be at the top of the list. You can get one for not too much $. Reliable and cheap to operate. Enough room to live in.

No Astro? No Caravan? 

Todd Berlier wrote:

yall don't know what a true dirtbag is. any van or awd is too luxurious. small old car with passenger seat removed for sleeping is the only rig capable of being defined ss dirtbag. the rest are privileged trustafarians.

Old Astro's and Vandura work vans go for 1-2k. What small, old, running, passenger car are you going to find for less than that? Also, why would you choose to be cramped?

Honda Element.  Too bad they don't make them any more.

You can live out of any car, it's more of the attitude.  That being said it can be significantly more comfy in larger rigs.  

Gloweringwrote:

Some nice data but 2021-2022s and big gas guzzlers are not dirtbag. 

I feel like Sprinter vans with less than 100k miles should be eliminated but shitty mpg trucks should be allowed. Can you outline the parameters on what qualifies? I figured my ’89 Tacoma Pickup that I lived out of for several years qualified, but I see that gas guzzlers are not allowed.…

AWD/4wd isn't a deal breaker, clearance is more important for a dirtbag vehicle.

Agree with your second point, I’ve seen some shitty civics get some gnarly places though so I’m not sure anything matters if it’s a true dirtbag rig   

Just read the google link/spreadsheet, 67 vehicles and NOT ONE FREAKING PRIUS. Geezus, am I literally the only person who knows that you can sleep in a Prius? I’m 6-2, and sleep fully stretched out, no mods necessary, all my gear fits in it, no need to ever break down the bed, and I can pull up to a spot, put up shades in 3 windows, and crawl right into my bed, without ever leaving the vehicle. 

100% stealth, nobody has a clue, can’t tell you how many times I’ve slept at…oh, nevermind that, rangers might read this. Anyway, with the WeatherTech shades, nobody can see inside, it has massive cargo space inside, and you can even sleep two if you’re willing to tetris the gear into the front seats (in 1-person configuration, I don’t really have to move anything around, everything is already nicely stacked in the front footwell/seat and L side of cargo space before I drive to where I want to snooze for the evening. Have literally never had a knock on my window, ever.

Have also offloaded it enough that I sold my Outback b/c I was taking it on the same roads. There’s even a 1.5” lift kit you can get for I think $300, easy to install, and adds a surprising amount of versatility. 

Lastly, I’m pretty sure none of the listed vehicles are getting anywhere near 45-50mpg, so there’s that small detail, since gas is double what it was 5 years ago!

That list is barely recognizable to me.

Here's mine:

1. Chevy/GMC diesel van from the 80's
2. Toyota 22R pickup from the 80-90's
3. Dodge cummins from the 80-90's (not automatic)
4. 70's VW wagon 

No love for the Nissan Xterra or Pathfinders? Good clearance, plenty of flat space to sleep in the back, and cheep parts.

While single I had an old Jeep Grand Cherokee and an old Subaru Forester. Both are amazing dirtbag cars and easy to work on. The Jeep got terrible fuel mileage though.
With two people, a 2006 E-350 that used to be a wheelchair van has been very nice.

id like to make another case for 15+ year old vans. They’re cheap, easy to fix, and are generally reliable

ITT: people who live in buildings judge people who live in cars

The safety points seem wildly arbitrary and are throwing the ratings off

I'm looking to live out of my car for a year or two and my biggest concern at the moment is security. Any recommendations on how not to get broken into? 

Hank Hudleywrote:…my biggest concern at the moment is security. Any recommendations on how not to get broken into? 

Always stay inside with boomstick ready. Also avoid anywhere near urban areas, remote areas, and everything in between. That should do it. 

Hank Hudleywrote:

I'm looking to live out of my car for a year or two and my biggest concern at the moment is security. Any recommendations on how not to get broken into? 

Drive the jankiest, ugliest most beat to hell low value car you can find. Do NOT put any outdoor related stickers on it- no Petzl, no Patagonia, no general hiking stickers, etc. The only sticker you should have on there is an NRA bumper sticker, as much as I hate them. I throw a dirty, holy, old, ugly gardening tarp over my stuff in the back and toss a few old propagation flats, a rat trap, and a few crumpled seltzer cans over everything. 

Hank Hudleywrote:

I'm looking to live out of my car for a year or two and my biggest concern at the moment is security. Any recommendations on how not to get broken into? 

Pretty much just avoid sketchy urban areas and you’ll be fine. And don’t leave anything valuable showing when you’re not in it. Go to the climbing areas and you’ll figure it out. 

Christian Heschwrote:

Just read the google link/spreadsheet, 67 vehicles and NOT ONE FREAKING PRIUS. Geezus, am I literally the only person who knows that you can sleep in a Prius? I’m 6-2, and sleep fully stretched out, no mods necessary, all my gear fits in it, no need to ever break down the bed, and I can pull up to a spot, put up shades in 3 windows, and crawl right into my bed, without ever leaving the vehicle. 

100% stealth, nobody has a clue, can’t tell you how many times I’ve slept at…oh, nevermind that, rangers might read this. Anyway, with the WeatherTech shades, nobody can see inside, it has massive cargo space inside, and you can even sleep two if you’re willing to tetris the gear into the front seats (in 1-person configuration, I don’t really have to move anything around, everything is already nicely stacked in the front footwell/seat and L side of cargo space before I drive to where I want to snooze for the evening. Have literally never had a knock on my window, ever.

Have also offloaded it enough that I sold my Outback b/c I was taking it on the same roads. There’s even a 1.5” lift kit you can get for I think $300, easy to install, and adds a surprising amount of versatility. 

Lastly, I’m pretty sure none of the listed vehicles are getting anywhere near 45-50mpg, so there’s that small detail, since gas is double what it was 5 years ago!

PM sent hoping to discuss the prius life a bit more. 

Climbing Weaselwrote:

Drive the jankiest, ugliest most beat to hell low value car you can find. Do NOT put any outdoor related stickers on it- no Petzl, no Patagonia, no general hiking stickers, etc. The only sticker you should have on there is an NRA bumper sticker, as much as I hate them. I throw a dirty, holy, old, ugly gardening tarp over my stuff in the back and toss a few old propagation flats, a rat trap, and a few crumpled seltzer cans over everything. 

Don’t put stickers period. NRA sticker is a theft magnet— there’s plenty of demand for stolen guns.

Safety rating?  In a dirtbag vehicle ranking?  Come on.

I'm rocking an '08 Toyota Sienna, so this list works for me.  Wish I'd gotten the AWD version.

Pink thunderbird.