Coronavirus humor

Stacking up the sanitary stacks

Looks like the corona is here to stay.

Garry R wrote: Looks like the corona is here to stay.

Hahaha

This reminds me of the time my 9th grade Pre-AP Biology teacher (Southern Baptist Texan, I believe, with some of the stereotypical mannerisms) was teaching us all about communicable diseases, and she got to the part of the lesson about herpes.

The text explained that herpes was a virus that affected the human mouth and also genitals.

Our teacher stopped at that point in the lesson, gave us all a moment’s stare-down, and, as if she was beset by some heavy, noble burden, said:

“Now, you all know that the virus can transmit between these two locations, right? 
Yes? 

Good. 

You all are getting to the age where you may want to spend some time thinking about the implications of how that happens, and if it’s worth it...“

She then cracked a wry smirk, huffed a bit self-satisfactorily, and returned to the lesson as if she hadn’t just stunned the entire class into stupidity.

It was amazing. 

also here’s a good one from a great one:
“A guy takes a hooker out for supper. He gave her his peas, she gave him herpes.“ Wayne, Letterkenny

Ralph Swansen wrote:

This one really hits home... As a Clinical Lab Tech, I'm very OCD, and it's spilling over into my home life, where my girlfriend has been isolated, without a job, for the last four weeks... I've found that jalapeno margaritas help a lot...

Too soon?

COVID transmission preventative measure deniers be like:

“
Let's just have some fun
Let's tear this shit apart
Let's tear the fucking house apart
Let's tear our fucking bodies apart
But let's just have some fun
“

Public health advocates be like:

“The past is a grotesque animal...
And in it’s eyes you see
How
Completely
Wrong
You can be.
“

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=f3RAI8Ntamw

From a local gym.

Be careful because people are going crazy from being in lock down!
Actually I've just been talking about this with the microwave and toaster while drinking coffee and we all agreed that things are getting bad. I didn't mention anything to the washing machine as she puts a different spin on everything. Certainly not to the fridge as he is acting cold and distant. In the end the iron straightened me out as she said everything will be fine, no situation is too pressing. The vacuum was very unsympathetic... told me to just suck it up, but the fan was more optimistic and hoped it would all soon blow over! The toilet looked a bit flushed when I asked its opinion and didn’t say anything but the door knob told me to get a grip. The front door said I was unhinged and so the curtains told me to ........yes, you guessed it .....pull myself together

Muscrat wrote: Be careful because people are going crazy from being in lock down!
Actually I've just been talking about this with the microwave and toaster while drinking coffee and we all agreed that things are getting bad. I didn't mention anything to the washing machine as she puts a different spin on everything. Certainly not to the fridge as he is acting cold and distant. In the end the iron straightened me out as she said everything will be fine, no situation is too pressing. The vacuum was very unsympathetic... told me to just suck it up, but the fan was more optimistic and hoped it would all soon blow over! The toilet looked a bit flushed when I asked its opinion and didn’t say anything but the door knob told me to get a grip. The front door said I was unhinged and so the curtains told me to ........yes, you guessed it .....pull myself together

Not bad, Muscrat. Not bad.

Muscrat, I just made a young lady laugh until she cried... I owe you a beer.