Getting divorced and climbing is a big reason why. Advice?

Andrew Rice wrote:

If that's what you read into my comment I'd urge to you re-read it (and the post prior to it) again a couple times. That's pretty much the OPPOSITE of what I am saying. Everything is precious and valuable. But also, life changes and things move and change in ways you can't imagine until it happens. And, still, life will continue on and be beautiful if you let it. My ex-wife will be family and very dear to me forever. Her extended family (my in-laws) will always be that way to me, too. And same toward her with my family of Origen. 

I'm not trying to argue but your posts are contradicting themselves. You say everything is temporary and then try to clarify your point by saying something will last forever in the next post.

If you go into things believing everything has a shelf life I would expect that belief to be self-fulfilling.

^ I think I understand and agree with what Senor Arroz is saying, that existence is always in a state of transformation. 

I visited Eric Bjornstad on his death bed in Moab. He talked about Fred Becky a lot. He said he was a, “ terrible husband and father.” I asked him if he regretted it? He said,” No, I wish I would have climbed as much as Fred.” 

Younghee Lowrie wrote:

I visited Eric Bjornstad on his death bed in Moab. He talked about Fred Becky a lot. He said he was a, “ terrible husband and father.” I asked him if he regretted it? He said,” No, I wish I would have climbed as much as Fred.” 

Imagine believing there is a role model in that story.

Astrid Rey wrote:

You say everything is temporary and then try to clarify your point by saying something will last forever in the next post.

Such is reality, no? Were it not for such apparent paradoxes, humans would have a lot less to talk about. Is a physicist a liar for saying a photon is both a particle and a wave?

Astrid Rey wrote:

I'm not trying to argue but your posts are contradicting themselves. You say everything is temporary and then try to clarify your point by saying something will last forever in the next post.

If you go into things believing everything has a shelf life I would expect that belief to be self-fulfilling.

Try not being so literal all the time. 

This song should help.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPXWt2ESxVY

Andrew Rice wrote:

Try not being so literal all the time. 

Why can't people understand that love is like a photon, or a cat in a box that may or may not be dead. Or something like that.

soft crux wrote:

Why can't people understand that love is like a photon, or a cat in a box that may or may not be dead. Or something like that.

Schrödinger's crux, as they say in climbing. Did I fall or did I send? Nobody can ever know. 

Erroll M wrote:

for anyone that remembers my previous comments in here before i deleted them....pour one out for me, please. feeling like you're losing one of the most important people in your life is one thing, but when it's someone that's been your primary climbing partner & is who got you into the sport, it hits differently.

I remember. I'm sorry about the impact the breakup is having on you. Losing a primary relationship and your primary climbing partner at the same time is a double whammy. From what I recall, your partner wasn't treating you very well. Sending you good vibes. Your future holds better relationships, both climbing and romantic. 

L Kap wrote:

I remember. I'm sorry about the impact the breakup is having on you. Losing a primary relationship and your primary climbing partner at the same time is a double whammy. From what I recall, your partner wasn't treating you very well. Sending you good vibes. Your future holds better relationships, both climbing and romantic. 

i appreciate that a lot, honestly. it's more of a break vs a break up, i asked for minimal contact while he works on some things--but i genuinely don't know if he's up to doing what he needs to do for himself. i want to be proven wrong. regardless, i'm giving myself permission to let go/grieve. there really aren't words for being well into a serious LTR and hearing essentially "i love you, i want you, this is probably the best relationship i've ever had, but i relate to men differently, i'm more like a kinsey 1.5..." etc. gutting. utterly gutting.

i'm forcing myself to attend a couple lgbtq climbing meetups locally next week just to get out there more, so that should help at least in finding more people to climb with locally. we'll see.