Best partner quote(s)?

"Shut the fuck up!" 

My partner's response after I told him "you're going to deck if you fall" while runout 45 feet up.  And that was the day that I learned that leaders don't always want the truth from their belayer.   

The low consequence scramble down from the summit to the rap anchor is one at a time, and since I hadn't untied yet, my partner who has must of the rope in a big pile by his shoulders says in the dumbest shaka-bro voice,

"Dude, you're on hip belay!" (a few seconds later) "Oh shit dude! You're on neck belay!" 

A friend of mine who is a brand new climber is stuck and I yell to her: “use the undercling!”

She yells back: “how?”

Me: “….cling it! …from under!”

Equally as helpful, and this would always make me laugh, calling down to my belayer “I’m scared!” And her calling back: “ok!” 

1) After a little runout midway up the short first pitch, I got the pleasure of clipping a 40-year old (east coast) pin. My partner said: "You're back on belay". 

2) After placing a funky blue tricam: "Better clip this thing before it falls out".

3) Me and my partner at the base looking at a mid-size tree on the ground that had recently fallen off the cliff:

   - "Do you know how it fell?"  (inquiring if there was a story in the community or on MP about someone inadvertently pulling it off)

   - "Not sure. But I bet gravity was involved."

In 1973 when  Bev Johnson and Sibylle Hechtel became the first women team to climb El Capitan , a Spanish team above them  fell off and flew down  by them ! Bev was supposed to have said " You don't see that everyday  " .

In the Fisher's, looking up at the next pitch, "Not my pitch, not my problem"

I said, "Watch me here, buddy!" And my partner replied,

"That's OK, I've done this route before!"

Leading on thin hooks on an El Cap wall: "Watch me!!"

Partner: "Watch you *what*...Fall?? Bwahahahaha!!!!"

Not from my partner but from a team we passed on Mt. Baker

"Just give me a sec man, I need to decluster my fuck"

Text exchange about big wall bathrooming:

Newb: Do you pee on the ledge or do you sort of pee on the side and let the wind fly it away or trickle down the face. Do you pee in a bottle and then wait for the right time to dump it? Is a rain fly necessary because i might be sprayed with pee at any time? Do i want to avoid sleeping on ledges cuz they smell like pee? Do I need to learn how to pee standing up?

Trad Dad: As a beneficiary of male privilege, I pee in almost every configuration imaginable: standing, kneeling, mid squat while engaged in number two. As for urination while considering atmospheric along with geologic conditions, it is truly situational. On ledges, I typically try for the extreme edges so that I avoid contaminating a nice spot for my fellow climbers. Wind, is always a factor. Without careful consideration one may find themselves coated in their own urine, a most unpleasant scenario. Even then, the urine will dry soon enough, though the odor will likely endure. There are times when peeing in a bottle for later disposal is preferred. Depending on the bottle, this can be precarious. I’m sure you’ve witnessed the astounding male propensity to miss the toilet bowl, a rather large target. Now imaging the precision required for a typical bottle opening. Add in gear, awkward stances, wind, and an impatient partner and you can imagine all sorts of unsavory scenario. I could continue to expound at length on the subject, though this brief outline should provide you with enough insight to accomplish your bigwall objectives.

Words of encouragement from my partner on a sketchy downclimb in Eldo to a tree to rap off of... "Don't worry it's chill.... I mean if you fuck it up you die but it's fine." LOL, thanks man...

He and I also now will look at each other and loudly exclaim "bamboozled!" When we get in a situation that's harder than expected.   

1. On an unplanned bivy, me shivering “ look a shooting star”. My buddy “ I wish the next one hits us”.

Larry Morganwrote:

 loudly exclaim "bamboozled!" When we get in a situation that's harder than expected.   

We do that with "shambles" whenever our gear is not organized 

"What, do you want to live forever?"

My partner when I express concern over leading a pitch.

‘5.8+ my ass!’

Said on a on offwidth established in 1974 on the North Shore of Minnesota. 

Gunkser, on his first 5.7 OW at Vedauwoo: "Would be 10+ in the Gunks!"

The quotableTom Grundy

On slab climbing: Put your foot where you want it. Stand on it. Pretend it’s good.

After falling and then yarding on the rope: I’m invoking the high point clause.

After listening to me and belaying me on a trad project: Cheating, whining and hanging. That’s the triumvirate. I think you are ready for sport climbing. 

Layton Kor used to say this in the 1960s:

"Better let me lead this pitch.  I'm not married."

Sam Ehmannwrote:

Stealing this from my partner's partner:

"If I can hit it on the way down, I can use it on the way up"

I live and die by this rule unironically 

my brother Tal has a great line for encouragement for a partner trying hard instead of the standard “come on! Come on! You got it come on!” he says “show some pride!” And I love that. Cool idea to focus on a proud effort when trying hard 

"All climbing is either alpine climbing or training for alpine climbing."

-Me