Scariest moments/mistakes when climbing not resulting in injury

Beepity boppity lump this is now back in the toppitty bump

Thanks for bringing attention back to this thread--it's important.

I had a close call/near miss this season that raises a bunch of larger questions.

I was ice climbing, starting up very low angle ice, the kind of ice many people including myself would just walk up in crampons.  I was feeling good, psyched to climb the steeper ice above, singing to myself, having fun.  When I reached the point where the climb actually began, I placed my tools, reached for an ice screw, and somehow lost balance or slipped.  I turned around facing downhill on my butt, and slid about four or five meters, went over a small step, and landed in soft snow.  I also pulled my partner off, and we both stopped together, completely unhurt but shaken.  On the short ride down, I remember thinking, "Keep your feet up!"  With the short distance traveled, and the low angle of the ice, it was would have been unlikely for one of us to be seriously injured (head, spine, torso) but we could easily have fractured our lower legs/ankles.  

Lessons?  The terrain was so low angle that I would not have put in a screw sooner; even with a long runner it would have made the rope drag terrible on the transition to the steeper ice.  I probably wouldn't put in an ice screw there if I did the climb again today, but I'd have to see the pitch to be sure.  What's clear is that I should have been more deliberate and carefull on easy ground.  As I often say to myself, "Respect low angle ice."  I always place screws on low angle sections of ice climbs at the top of pitches, even when it feels uncecessary, and I should have taken the first meters of this climb more seriously.  We also could have put in a screw or anchor for the belayer, but as the terrain was comfortable for both of us, we didn't really talk about it, although we should have.  It's a classic case of familiarity and complacency.

Zooming out, I had a solid ice climbing season and I felt good that day, but many people might not have been climbing in the mental state that I've been in for the last few years.  Death of my father.  Burnout at work and reduced work load.  Divorce after twenty years of marriage.  A terriblly painful breakup with a woman after a two-year relationship, the most profound love I've even felt, now gone.  Real depression.  Crying multiple times every day.  Barely able to function.  Holding it together for my daughter. Psychiatrist strongly recommending weeks to months off work, and some kind of acute intervention, like a hospital stay or ketamine treatments, in addition to the regular psychological medication that I take.  

Did all that factor into this accident?  On one hand, it seems hard to believe that it did not in some way.  On the other hand, it was a simple slip, and in a lifetime of climbing, mistakes happen.  I don't know whether it's a strength or a weakness, but I have a strong ability to compartmentalize.  When I tie into the rope, all that stuff dissappears, which of course is part of the reason I climb. I have tried to regularly check in with myself and ask, "Are you making good decisions?"  or, "Is it safe for you to be climbing?"  In general, I think I've climbed in a conservative way, which is my approach, and apart from that slip, there haven't been any serious red flags.  But I'm still processing.

After a quick check, we started climbing again.  I lead the next pitches, first a grade 4 pitch of some cool, three-dimensional cauliflower ice, with an awkward side-step section that was engaging and fun to climb, like solving a puzzle.  Then a grade 5 pillar.  I've climbed at this place for over a decade.  There are many routes, and I've climbed them all, except this pillar. I've always wanted to climb it, but I never felt ready.  A few years ago, I looked at it, and I thought, "You know, you can climb that, you just have to do it."  Anybody who's been climbing for a while knows the feeling of gradually realizing that you are ready to climb something you previously felt was too difficult or frightening.  This year, the conditions, partner, and everything felt right.  In the end, it all went smoothly.  I placed protection regularly, rested, shook out my hands, took deep breaths, and stayed completely in control.  It was near my limit, but I felt calm and relaxed. It almost felt easy, which is how I think hard ice climbing should feel.  

And this followed the slip at the start.  

Was it adrenalin from the slip that fueled the climb?  Was it the desperation of the last months that made me so determined?  If so, is that wrong?  I don't have the answers to these questions.

I joked with my partner that I wanted to write this up for MP, but I didn't know where to place it, in the "Scariest moments/mistakes" thread, in the "Climbers and mental illness thread," in a "Relationships and heartbreak thread," or in a, "Why do we climb?" thread. 

So that's my story.  I hope somebody can take something useful away from it.

Low angle ice sucks.  I literally hate grade 2 ice. 2+ is almost tolerable.. If its really warm and wet you can stand up and hike it comfortably as long as theres no gusty wind but if its cold , dry bullet proof concrete you pretty much have to get a tool in it and fckn crawl. hate that shit.   Your mistake was not under protecting the low angle ice but falling while placing the screw at the top of it.  Sounds like you were hands free and not holding either tool. Don't do that shit and don't fall. Otherwise great job on the rest of the day.    We were soloing Odels gully in Hunnington Ravine  1986. My partner was standing on the top of a bulge fucking around taking this picture of me.  Single digit temps, bulletproof ice, gusty winds. 

He put the camera away, pulled both tools out of the ice and took a step.. 500ft ride and a broken back,etc.etc.  happened in the next few seconds..   Got to have one tool in all the time and be holding on to it unless it's soft  super hero ice.. 

Nick Goldsmith wrote:

Sounds like you were hands free and not holding either tool.

Yup, absolutely.  Just not paying attention.  Normally I never go hands free.  

Where we were didn't even feel like we were on a climb yet...lower angle than your picture.  Maybe WI 1 or 1+ ???

I agree with you that WI 2ish sucks.  You have to crawl.  Steeper = better.  

Gaurentee it won't happen to you again unless you are British.. lesson learned. 

Seems like Simon Yates fell off of everything he ever climbed but most actually learn from this stuff. 

Bruno Schull wrote:

So that's my story.  I hope somebody can take something useful away from it.

I know we've clashed before but I'm really sorry to hear about all your troubles this last year or so. 

Couple years back I was into ice, but had only ever done TR. One day a friend and I decided to try lead. I went first and put in a couple screws, got maybe 4 set in total. Climbing above the last one and found a good spot to hold for another screw. I felt super secure and zero indication of falling so I went to place another. Then just like that I fell. I remember being upside down with my head not a couple inches from the ground, slammed against the face, and my front points of my crampon in my belayers shoulder and near neck. Ice screw held but that was the end of the day right there.

A couple weeks later I sold all my ice gear and have never looked back. Was fun to try it but figured going forward I'll stick to rock. I felt so bad for hurting him and ruining his nice coat too.. did not like that feeling at all.

About 22 years ago a friend and I climbed crimson chrysalis in red rocks. It was a long day and night fall was coming on quickly so we decided that simul rapping would get us to the ground faster. We had 2 60 m ropes and on one rappels we thought we could skip a station and get to the next anchor. It turned out we didn’t have enough rope and we were kinda screwed. It turns out another party was also rappelling and they threw us their ropes and we had to transfer from our ropes to theirs while simul rapping. We had to time it right so we both unweighted and weighted the new system at the same time. We were able to do the transfer but it was super scary and we both vowed to never simul rappel again.

Andrew Rice wrote:

I know we've clashed before but I'm really sorry to hear about all your troubles this last year or so. 

I really appreciate that Andrew.  And I hope you understand that despite our arguments, I have huge respect for what you do and your contributions here.  

Bruno Schull wrote:

….Was it adrenalin from the slip that fueled the climb?  Was it the desperation of the last months that made me so determined?  If so, is that wrong?  I don't have the answers to these questions…..

Wish you the best Bruno.  There are no answers , but many an ice climber has climbed their best after heartbreak.  Tears seem to make the ice just flow.  

It’s either turn deeper into ice and alpinism or country music.  Not really a choice in my book.  

My example carries on the theme to an extent.  The ice climb was “Tears of Joy”,  a 2 pitch 3+ over the border in Canada.  It seemed like a fitting climb to solo immediately post divorce.  1/2 way up the second pitch, I thought I was getting stupid arm, cuz I couldn’t get the right axe to stick at all.   Finally noticed it was because I only had about 2 inches of pick left.   The universe telling me I was a cliche dumbass.   Sucks to realize one is a dumbass 1/2 way up a second pitch of ice with 1/2 an axe and no screws.  Do I keep going and top out, or down climb to the tree between the 1st and 2nd pitch (I had a rope for getting down).   Since the ice was hard boiler plate, I opted to take advantage of my placements already made, and downclimb.   Made it to the tree and rapped from there.   Once on the ground, I marveled that the pick didn’t break while I was pulling on that axe, sending me plummeting. (They never do)

  I vowed right then and there to be only 1/2 the dumbass in the future.  Mostly lived up to that promise.  

thats the reason I wear a harness with a few screws on it and have a 6mm tag in my pack.  over the years I have broken crampons 3 times soling. Twice they fell off .  M10 toe bail broke. Foot fang toe bail broke.  stinger the front point just fell off.  broke two different picks soloing.  Ice climbing is too gear intensive to not give yourself a bail option.