Stories of Mid-Route Breakups

I witnessed an incredible blowout in the wind rivers a while back, it started in the parking lot, my partner and I were going for a car-to-car mission so we had super minimal bivy gear and rack, maybe 20 Lbs. each? we started up the trail and were generally screwing around, maybe smoking a rolly, not in a hurry, day one was pretty easy, we hadn't gone far when we ran into a moose cow with a tiny calf right in the trail, preferring to give them plenty of space we backed away and decided to wait for them to move on, as we were waiting a couple we had seen arguing in the parking lot came up, we told them, hey, heads up, mama moose is right there, the girl responds F- that Moose, and charges right past us, dragging the dude, who tries to apologize as he tries to keep up... 

fortunately, the moose picked up that the girl was in no mood to contest the right of way and got off the trail with a little aggressive posturing, girl walked right past a hackled up grunting moose, bold choice for sure... we fell in behind them, and with them having huge packs were pretty soon pushing the pace a bit, most people would let us pass, not this girl, no matter how fast we went she would kick it up another notch to stay in front, pretty soon it became somewhat of a game for us, as we could hear her tell the guy that those guys behind who were clearly were not taking this seriously were not going to pass them, we ended up pushing them almost to a jog for something like three miles to a fork in the trail, we went opposite ways and could hear her berating the guy, who pretty much collapsed as soon as they stopped, for not being fast enough to lose us, but figured our day of watching a meltdown was over... 

What a surprise when hours later approaching the summit of the second peak we were climbing for the day we hear a girl absolutely screaming about how she is being belayed, the standard "take! take more!" hmm, that sounds familiar? as we keep climbing we can hear the disaster taking place on the other side of the arete, they top out and start rapping, with her yelling about absolutely everything- the dude is just taking it, but when he gets to the bottom of the last rap he just takes off, beeline for the basin, with the girl absolutely losing her shit at the top of the rap, he gets yelled at until he disappears into the treeline, she is so blindly angry that she loses the trail a couple times and just continues screaming at him until she finally gets all the way down... 

We were a little blown away by the whole thing, and assumed they were well and truly done, but 3 days later when we got back to the truck their rig was still there, guess they at least made up enough to finish the trip? I don't know if I've ever seen a person so angry, it was intense from a distance of several hundred meters...

Grant Kleeveswrote:

I witnessed an incredible blowout in the wind rivers a while back

Yikes. I've seen this kind of behavior before, when a guy or gal has something to prove to the world, and their partner is just the medium through which they express their alleged superiority.

There is a geographical region from which I have seen this behavior overrepresented, but I dare not say it here. #IYKYK is what the kids say these days, I believe ... ;-)

F r i t zwrote:

There is a geographical region from which I have seen this behavior overrepresented, but I dare not say it here. #IYKYK is what the kids say these days, I believe ... ;-)

Fritz is clearly talking about people from New Jersey. 

Ezra Hendersonwrote:

Fritz is clearly talking about people from New Jersey. 

I'm from NJ originally, we do have our fair share of A-holes. I always felt like it was a northeast thing. It's easy to be in a bad mood when it's cold, gray, and shitty from ~November to ~May every year!

In Potrero a few years back a couple got into an argument and the guy (belayer) tied the girlfriend off to a tree and left.  

F r i t zwrote:

Last year at the Sandstone Quarry crag in Red Rock, I witnessed a Crossfit gym bro in an Affliction shirt and basketball shorts who was hanging at the third bolt of a 5.9 yelling "TAKE! TAKE HARDER!" at his girlfriend. He also had a PAS (aid version, of course) clipped thong-style.

No doubt the girlfriend discovered that as a woman who climbs, she is at the top of the mate selection food chain, and traded him in for an upgraded model the same day.

I also asked myself "Did Limp Bizkit put subliminal messages in one of their albums encouraging people to try climbing?"

Not a breakup story but I saw, and heard, a similar character while climbing near Vegas with my dad. This ungrateful stranger was dogging a moderate 12 and yelling at his belayer, who happened to be a 60-70 year old man. Only once he spewed another stream of obscenities did we learn that this older man was his father. After about an hour on and off this climb he told his dad that, "you killed my mojo" and "this is a shitty day" and they left. You killed my mojo too dude.

Last year saw a couple climbing a small single pitch sport climb on a rock known for many “first time outdoor” climbers. Looked like the guy had never lead belayed with a grigri, his partner was yelling urgently for more slack, he had both hands on the climbers side of the rope and was tugging to feed slack, his partner was panicking unable to get enough rope to clip the next draw. Based on the yelling between them I’m not sure their relationship survived. 

I've heard that offwidth (much like tandem bikes) are notorious for ending relationships. Someone once told me of a couple's end on Baby in the Gunks, though that person was not one to let the truth get in the way of a good story...so who knows. 

Sean Sullivanwrote:

I've heard that offwidth (much like tandem bikes) are notorious for ending relationships. Someone once told me of a couple's end on Baby in the Gunks, though that person was not one to let the truth get in the way of a good story...so who knows. 

I think this thread is one where the truth doesn’t need to get in the way of a good story, so spill!

I think enough time has elapsed for me to share this story. It's not quite a mid-route break up, but it produced one of the most epic one liners still shared among my climbing partners about 18 years after it happened. 

A girlfriend and I were on a route in the Sierra. We had bivied about three miles from the base and got a late start. She refused to lead any pitches. Two pitches from the top, dehydrated and hungry, with a funky belay after a runout pitch, she seconded, climbing it rather quickly. Due to my fatigue and funky belay, I couldn't pull up the rope fast enough - there was a bit of slack in the system. She arrived at the belay and immediately and angrily exclaimed "what the f**k was that sh!t?!" Exasperated, I responded, "I'm doing my best." Her terse retort was "fine, no summit sex for you!" At that point, I took what little gear she had and didn't say a word for the rest of the climb other than belay commands. Upon arriving at the summit, I pointed and said the descent looks like it's over there and began the walk off with her.

The lack of summit sex wasn't the deal breaker; never is. I couldn't deal with the many other angry outbursts, among other things, and the relationship ended, much later than it should have. While the relationship ended, the phrase "no summit sex for you" lives on to this day. 

Nobody broke up this day, but I did spend a day at Sweet Pain Wall in Vegas, patiently waiting for my turn on Glitter Gulch last year. They jumped on, with his girlfriend on belay while tied to a big bag of their gear to help her weigh enough. It looked pretty uncomfortable. He made about three moves, got into the first clip, and then spend a sold 5 minutes shaking out on a jug. He climbed again, got to another bolt, and then spent another 5 resting. She's quiet the whole time, except to let him know she's going to tie or untie a cat knot occasionally. He did this for about 5 bolts. Finally, about 40 minutes into his attempt on this 20m route and about 4/5 of the way up, he fell. He'd been so afraid of losing the onsight from not resting that he cost himself the onsight. He finished, cliped the anchor, and lowered off.

Now she's going to top rope on her turn. He sits down to belay her, and then spends the entire time she's climbing just totally spraying her down. Every hand and foot, he's calling it out. He's suggesting moves that worked for him, but are obviously too long for her. She takes a few times and tells him that she wants him to cool it with the beta. He absolutely doesn't. So we sat there for like, an hour waiting for our turn on the route, watching this guy crux out on resting, and then just spraying his partner down on toprope for 10 minutes. It was an experience, for sure.

Adam P, did you ever get the send? (the summit sex, that is...)

Enquiring minds, and all that rot.

Someone shared this here on MP a few years back:

A couple was descending a route. He was lowering her and then rapping. She was afraid to go over the edge, and there was a lot of arguing, yelling, and tears. Finally, he just shoved her off the ledge and then lowered her the rest of the way.

I'd say there's a reasonably good chance they're not together anymore.

Cherokee Nuneswrote:

Adam P, did you ever get the send? (the summit sex, that is...)

Enquiring minds, and all that rot.

Cherokee - not that anyone has ever called me this but a gentleman doesn't disclose that info. I may have said too much already. But three cheers for those who have enjoyed summit and/or outdoor dalliances. 

Well said, Sir!

Robert Swrote:

Someone shared this here on MP a few years back:

A couple was descending a route. He was lowering her and then rapping. She was afraid to go over the edge, and there was a lot of arguing, yelling, and tears. Finally, he just shoved her off the ledge and then lowered her the rest of the way.

I'd say there's a reasonably good chance they're not together anymore.

Geezus...

Garry Reisswrote:

Geezus...

It’s a miracle he wasn’t summarily buried under a pile of rocks at a location never disclosed.

(I’d help pile on the rocks.)

I have a story that's a somewhat strange take on this subject.

I was dating a woman who had never climbed before, and she was going through a rough time, so I suggested she try climbing. At first, she had a WTF response, but I said it could clear her mind and concentrate her focus on something positive, so she agreed.

We went out and TRd one of the easiest routes at the local crag, and she loved it. Shortly after, she went out and bought her own gear, and we went climbing a second time.

After that, we continued seeing each other for about a year, but we never climbed together again. She actually started hiring a guide to take her out to the crags. When I asked her why, she said something to the effect that she loved climbing so much and it was so important to her that she didn't want to tie it too closely to me in case one or the other didn't work out.

It made a weird sort of sense to me.

Or maybe the guide was just hotter than I am or better in bed. Or both.

Sean Sullivanwrote:

I've heard that offwidth (much like tandem bikes) are notorious for ending relationships. Someone once told me of a couple's end on Baby in the Gunks, though that person was not one to let the truth get in the way of a good story...so who knows. 

There's this offwidth at Vedauwoo, horticulture, that I would not take a woman I was dating on until I was sure the relationship was solid. It's only 5.6, and it's a fair 5.6, the moves aren't that hard for the grade, especially if you're proficient in the style. But nobody expects to work that hard on a 5.6. *I* cried on it the first time I did it.

There are other, more sandbagged offwidths at Vedauwoo, but that one felt like the divorcer.