Stories of Mid-Route Breakups

I was telling my non-climbing significant other about some romantic belaytionship sturm und drang that I witnessed at the crag over the holiday weekend. 

She asked how often rock climbing becomes a catalyst for relationships ending up on the rocks. By way of explanation, I told her an apocryphal story that I read long ago on MP.

In it, a climbing couple broke up at the top of a long route in Red Rock and then had to endure a long rappel in stony silence together.

My girlfriend doesn't believe that this story actually happened. Does anyone remember it, or have a similar story of a mid-route breakup?

I vaguely remember reading that story, but I did also catch a post in the lost and found the other day.  Guy said his fiance (hate that word) was going to leave him if the rope that they left at the crag was not recovered.  A day or so after, the gentleman reports back that the wedding was off.  I wanted to comment, to share some warmth, having dealt with a wide variety of disenfranchised women in the past, but I let it be.  Hope you're doing alright brother...

The only climbing partner I have is my co-hab girlfriend, and it does put a strain on things every now and then.  She flat out doesn't have the years of mileage that I do, so I am constantly having to be the rope gun and carry the heavy shit. I also have all of the navigation skills, and have to setup all of the logistics for every thing.  I don't mind most of the time, but at the end of a longer day, or even a multi-day backcountry trip, carrying both of our packs out (her's on my chest) and feeling the burn, I wish that I had some stronger people to go climbing with. She is a badass belayer though, so it's mostly worth the extra rucking weight.

A grumpy but notable local hard man first ascender, with his #3 wife belaying him, on a nearby climb one day. They must have been having one of those days because they were shouting and I mean shouting comments and belay commands interlaced with terms of, endearment, such as

"On BELAY MOTHERF******!"

"CLIMB ON YOU F***ING B****!!!!!!"

They were working a hard pitch and we soon climbed up out of the drama. I later heard they were splitsville, I have no idea if that was THE DAY, or not. But a year or two later I ran into him at another crag and he was solo, and grumpy as ever.

I think it was the late 80s, I was on a climbing trip to Joshua Tree with my husband, and we went to do Figures on a Landscape.  Even though the grade was well in my comfort zone, he began to freak out that I could get hurt because he couldn't see any holds. I argued with him - "you know I'm not going to fall on this". He didn't care for logic - refused to belay me on it, said he wouldn't climb it.  We had some very heated back and forth but he was adamant.  Our marriage survived no problem but we were not really climbing partners after that trip.  He wasn't much into climbing by that point anyway. So that was a sad breakup in a way, since he had introduced me to climbing and for the first few years, had taught me everything.

But happy ending, we love to climb in the gym together these days, and climb outside together once or twice a year.  Cracks or steep/vertical sport, he still doesn't enjoy runout slab!

I was belaying up my partner at the top of the 3rd pitch of Osiris at Lumpy Ridge, and watched a couple slowly descend into a crag side argument as the woman struggled with the crux bulge of whatever they were in, while the man shouted down increasingly useless beta.

It took all I had not to yell "that's what she said!' when he called down "what's the matter babe, it's not that hard!", but then she started crying and it felt inappropriate.

Not sure if they actually broke up, or if they just should have, but that's my story.

I don’t know why your SO would have a hard time believing the climbing breakup story. Stress brings out the worst in people, and climbing can be very stressful, so I have no doubt that many couples had a mid-climb breakup. It obviously doesn’t come out of the blue, the relationship was probably “on the rocks” already (sorry for that bad pun).

Years ago two local climbers had broken up while on a weekend climbing trip. They started fighting at the crag, she just got into her car, and drove off, leaving the guy stranded 5 hrs away from home. By the time he found a ride and got back on Sunday all his stuff was on the front porch. I didn’t witness it, the rumor mill was quite busy though. 

A friend of mine got into a fight with his girlfriend that continued into his next single pitch lead. Eventually, the back and forth insults became too much and despite his position well up the climb, she took him off belay and left.

1986 the Gobbler. BINTD when you could camp in Black velvet canyon. I had led the Gobbler and we were descending some sort of shared rap route?  The last rap was a double rope free hanger. That route was serious for me so it was pretty late in the day  when we got there. A couple was melting down at the rappel. she was scared to back over the edge and he was a dick. Eventually he split and pulled their ropes and left. We did not have too much trouble  talking her into the rappel on our ropes once the relation shit was out of the picture. She seemed nice but Black velvet is a pretty big wall for someone not all in to the lifestyle.  We got down just at dusk. i think there might have been some 4rth class after the rap as well just for icing on the cake.  We hiked back to the campground with her. there was a massive fight that night and their buss was gone when we woke up.... 

My sibling scrambled into a two-pitch sport route at Red Rock. A couple was finishing one of the pitches while their dog was tied to a nearby bush. The leash was tangled a bit, limiting the dogs freedom.

After some sweet talk between my sib and the dog, she reached out to untangle the leash. The dog reacted and bit her hand, breaking the skin a bit, and then immediately looked sheepish.

The couple rapped down ASAP to check things out. The man said something about not wanting to leave the dog with friends to which the woman adds, “He loves his dog more than me! That’s why we’re breaking up.”

The route was called “Mans Best Friend” - no kidding. 

Jimmy Strange wrote:

In highschool I broke up with a girl when she refused to believe the way climbing worked ie the old ‘how do you get the rope up there?’ query.
I took her out to demonstrate, thinking it a great chance for some displays of virility and coolness, but she refused to believe leading was a thing when we could just walk to the top, she insisted I was lying.

We top roped for 15 minutes, her final words were ‘this is bullshit’. I lowered her off, silently packed up and we got the bus home where I listed to Alice Cooper on my walkman the whole way.

Shes now a hasbeen minor reality celebrity. I left that school 2 months later, then that town and country never to return. 

Which album?

Kevin DeWeese wrote:

I have broken up with a romantic partner two seperate times while climbing. Once at the base of The Nose and once mid-FA of a bigwall route in Ribbon Falls. 

Sounds like your portaledge romance game is weak.

Kevin DeWeese wrote:

I have broken up with a romantic partner two seperate times while climbing. Once at the base of The Nose and once mid-FA of a bigwall route in Ribbon Falls. 

I heard you bought Quinn a black totem and he took you back. 

Kevin DeWeese wrote:

I have broken up with a romantic partner two seperate times while climbing. Once at the base of The Nose and once mid-FA of a bigwall route in Ribbon Falls. 

What’s a better route name: Couple’s Therapy, or Marital Aid?

Flake n' Bake is a 5.5 in the Sandias that starts with about 10 feet of friction slab. One day my partner and I hiked up the canyon it's in and saw a man belaying at the top of the pitch and a woman struggling at the bottom with the first 10 feet. We proceeded to climb 4 pitches on the other side of the canyon and hike out, occasionally looking over and seeing that party unchanged from their original positions. I often wonder how that day turned out for them.

Pretty sure I witnessed a mid-route breakup on the Rosy Crucifixion traverse from across the canyon. Couldn’t hear the entire conversation but enough to hear the meltdown escalating as she took one step out, then back, over and over. I felt sorry for her. Stopped watching after a long while so not sure how it ended- assume she finished the pitch eventually since there really wouldn’t be any other choice? Rosy maybe isn’t the best date climb. 

Self repost from an older thread:

I was climbing a multipitch in Yosemite one day, and about halfway through I started hearing really loud arguing coming from below. As I’m belaying my partner who is about half way up the next pitch, this pair of simul-climbers come up on my ledge. They are in a full blown marital crisis, yelling at each other about who knows what, and the wife is threatening to “throw this ugly ring off the top”, all while in total climbing mode. Me and my partner just froze and let them pass because we couldn’t handle hearing them bitch at eachother any longer. We also waited a while so they were way clear of us just in case one of them decided to cut the other off the rope! Point is, that’s a damn good way to pass a group without asking.

Last year at the Sandstone Quarry crag in Red Rock, I witnessed a Crossfit gym bro in an Affliction shirt and basketball shorts who was hanging at the third bolt of a 5.9 yelling "TAKE! TAKE HARDER!" at his girlfriend. He also had a PAS (aid version, of course) clipped thong-style.

No doubt the girlfriend discovered that as a woman who climbs, she is at the top of the mate selection food chain, and traded him in for an upgraded model the same day.

I also asked myself "Did Limp Bizkit put subliminal messages in one of their albums encouraging people to try climbing?"

Did it all for the nookie, what? 

The nookie, what? 

So you can take that PAS

and thong it up your ass. 

ErikaNWwrote:

Pretty sure I witnessed a mid-route breakup on the Rosy Crucifixion traverse from across the canyon. Couldn’t hear the entire conversation but enough to hear the meltdown escalating as she took one step out, then back, over and over. I felt sorry for her. Stopped watching after a long while so not sure how it ended- assume she finished the pitch eventually since there really wouldn’t be any other choice? Rosy maybe isn’t the best date climb. 

Was gonna say the same thing about the same route. Burly boyfriend leads the 1st pitch, and less secure girlfriend(and rightly so for any climber) gets to face trying to get off that slab to get to the 1st bolt and blows it, takes the deck fall and scrapes down the slab into space. 

Leading that pitch is way less consequency than following it. I've never seen it personally but heard the awful and violent immediate break up story at the Southern Sun at least 3 times over the years. Not sure when that became a popular date climb for some folks.

F r i t zwrote:

I was telling my non-climbing significant other about some romantic belaytionship sturm und drang that I witnessed at the crag over the holiday weekend. 

She asked how often rock climbing becomes a catalyst for relationships ending up on the rocks. By way of explanation, I told her an apocryphal story that I read long ago on MP.

In it, a climbing couple broke up at the top of a long route in Red Rock and then had to endure a long rappel in stony silence together.

My girlfriend doesn't believe that this story actually happened. Does anyone remember it, or have a similar story of a mid-route breakup?

An excellent article/ short story to read that we all can relate to…. “ when a belaytionship comes to an end”. Whether you’ve moved on from a partner, moved  in general or your partner just lost the want to climb. I’m sure we all can relate or this and or resonates in one way or another.

https://news.everest.com/when-a-belaytionship-comes-to-an-end/

My brother and I did a trip together to climb in Vegas but got rained out of red rocks so spent the whole time cragging at Lone Mountain (it was his first time climbing outside, we still had lots of fun). 

The first day we arrive to the crag the same time as a couple who seem pretty experienced and are also visiting the area. We hopped on a 5.8 and they set up on a 5.9 or 10a next to us to warm up. The guy goes first and hangs the draws, and she goes second and ends up getting totally shutdown by the crux of the route, keeps trying the same move but cannot figure it out and gets very frustrated. He keeps telling her the same beta, she starts telling him to shut up, and they just get more and more mad at each other. After 20 mins or so she ends up having to lower off the climb and is crying and telling him “why did you send me up this thing, YOU KNEW it would be to hard for me and YOU KNEW I wouldn’t be able to do it!!”

I can’t recall if they packed up after that or managed to pull it together and try something else, but it made for a pretty awkward crag experience for everyone else around.