DOGS!

Garry Reisswrote: I have climbed a fair bit with three different dogs that belong to friends of mine. Mostly at remote, empty crags thankfully, because all three whine and bark while their owner is climbing. On a trip last year, one of the dogs bit me on two different occasions when I got too close. It had also bitten my partner's wife apparently, so I wasn't to feel bad? Anyway, good news is, cutting his balls off helped. 

Thats obviously the ideal response but they should think about get the dog fixed as well.  

I was once "set up" by a friend of mine Barry who has a female friend whom he thought I might enjoy meeting.  We were both really into climbing and both computer scientists, etc.  

So I showed up and meet "Dana" at the crag; also present is Barry and Dana's dog, a black lab named Luna (I am not making this up).  So I took the first lead and Dana belays me (I know... that's a lot of trust off the bat!) and Barry is playing with Luna.  Then Dana takes a burn and I belay.  Then Barry's turn and I belay while Dana is on her phone and suddenly I look over and this dog is tearing through my pack!  I can't do much because I'm belaying and about 5 meters away from my pack, so I yell out, "Hey, your dog is tearing up my pack!" while Dana continues looking at her phone.  "Excuse me!!!"  She still looks up at me, shrugs, and goes back to her phone.  The dog has now pulled some of my lunch out of my dog and is chewing up a sandwich.  

Barry lowers off and I, trying to maintain my composure, say, "hey, your dog just ate my lunch!"  She finally responds, "well, if you wanted to save your lunch maybe you shouldn't leave it out around wild animals."  Finally I said, "Well, if this is a wild animal I guess I'm free to treat it like a wild animal!"  At this point Barry intervenes to calm the situation down.  Later he offers me part of his lunch since mine has dog slobber on it.  

I've never spoken to this woman again and I still tell Barry what a horrible person I think she is... he defends her.

You've been Lunad, you are not alone in this struggle.

Nate Allenwrote:

I was once "set up" by a friend of mine Barry who has a female friend whom he thought I might enjoy meeting.  We were both really into climbing and both computer scientists, etc.  

So I showed up and meet "Dana" at the crag; also present is Barry and Dana's sport climber  (I am not making this up).  So I took the first lead and Dana belays me (I know... that's a lot of trust off the bat!) and Barry is playing with the sport climber.  Then Dana takes a burn and I belay.  Then Barry's turn and I belay while Dana is on her phone and suddenly I look over and this sport climber is tearing through my pack!  I can't do much because I'm belaying and about 5 meters away from my pack, so I yell out, "Hey, your sport climber is tearing up my pack!" while Dana continues looking at her phone. "Excuse me!!!" She still looks up at me, shrugs, and goes back to her phone. The sport climber has now pulled some of my lunch out of my bag and the sport climber and is chewing up a sandwich.

Barry lowers off and I, trying to maintain my compose, say, "hey, your sport climber just ate my lunch!"  She finally responds, "well, if you wanted to save your lunch maybe you shouldn't leave it out around wild animals."  Finally I said, "Well, if this is a wild animal I guess I'm free to treat it like a wild animal!"  At this point Barry intervenes to calm the situation down.  Later he offers me part of his lunch since mine has sport climber slobber on it.  

I've never spoken to this woman again and I still tell Barry what a horrible person I think she is... he defends her.

Fixed it for you.   

Todd Berlier wrote:

the real question is are you still single? 

He found a nice cat lady

What good is a bluebird day without a dog barking? I'd rather hear any animal make any sound rather than have to listen to most people talk, much less complain!

Hi Nate.  Something about your story doesn't ring true.  People don't usually say things like, "Well, if you wanted to save your lunch maybe you shouldn't leave it out around wild animals," unless they are angry.  Could you have done anything to provoke such a response? 

Below, in the spirit of this thread, I've adjusted your story somewhat to reflect a more probable series of events.  

Nate was once set up on a date by his friend Barry, who has a female friend, named Brunhilda, whom he thought Nate might enjoy meeting.  They were both really into climbing, both computer scientists, etc.  

Brunhilda resisted this meeting for a long time.  She had bad luck with climbers and computer scientists--they were all so narcissistic and egotistical--but she finally relented, because her friend Barry was so persuasive.  On the apppointed day, she took her beloved black labroador Luna along with her, so that if Nate turned out to be unappealing (as she suspected he would) at least have her best friiend as backup.  

They all met.  As soon as Nate saw Luna, he stiffened and gritted his teath, and Brunhilda realized that he was not a dog person. Luna went up to great Nate with a friendly tail wag nose sniff, but he pulled his hand away.  This confirmed Brunhilda's fears.  

They started climbing.  Nate took the first lead as Brunhilda belayed, while Barry played with Luna.  Why are men always so eager to show off, Brunhilda wondered?  Why couldn't Barry climb first?  He set this whole thing up.  Or what about chivalry, and ladies first?  I guess you couldn't expect any social grace from a non dog lover, she reasoned.  Brunhilda climbed next, somewhat uncomfortable that Nate would leer at her from below.  Then Barry climbed while Nate belayed.  Realizing that there was no chance for her and Nate, Brunhilda began to scroll through a dating app, wondering is she could salvage the weekend.  What about that friendly-looking guy with the golden retriever?  She began writing him a text.  Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Nate stiffen and grit his teeth once more.  Luna had edged close to him for affection.  She was a sweet dog and only wanted to be close to people.  Unfortunately, Nate seemed incapable of returning selfless love.  He certainly wasn't boyfriend material, much less father material. Brunhilda never understand people who didn't like dogs or kids, or always expected dogs and kids to behave perfectly.  Who would want to be with somebody who was more worried about the germs in dog saliva, or the bacteria on children's hands, than the obvious joy and love they brought?

As little sympathy as Brunhilda had for Nate, when she saw Luna approach Nate's pack, she was on the verge of calling out Luna's name to distract her with a treat.  Then Nate shouted in rage, his face twisted into a grotesque mask, "Hey, your dog is tearing up my pack!"  That sealed it.  Nobody that rude and aggressive was worth the effort.  "Well, if you wanted to save your lunch maybe you shouldn't leave it out around wild animals," Brunhilda responded, hoping that Nate picked up on her dismissive tone.  Usually, she kept a close eye on Luna, but she thought that Nate had forfeitted his right to polite behavior by being so unfriendly.  Secretly, she was pround that Luna ate his lunch.

Nate lowered Barry to the ground.  They departed just as a large, noisy group of sport climbers arrived, with boom boxes, hammocks, and joints.  That evening, Brunhilda contacted the guy with the golden retriever.  It was love at first sight, and the next day they went climbing while their dogs frolicked in the alpine meadows.

Bruno Schullwrote:

Hi Nate.  Something about your story doesn't ring true.  People don't usually say things like, "Well, if you wanted to save your lunch maybe you shouldn't leave it out around wild animals," unless they are angry.  Could you have done anything to provoke such a response?  

You are a colossal pain in the arse. But this is damn fine troll work. 10/10

A lot of blaming the victim in this thread.

This dog thread is outperforming expectations 

(Which admittedly are pretty low, but still…)

Dear Legendary Mark Hudon, I want to actually learn something from this thread!

Do you think you could of sent the Teflon corner in as free as can be if your training leading up to it hadn't been interrupted by dogs and dog owners?

Mark Frumkinwrote:

What good is a bluebird day without a dog barking? I'd rather hear any animal make any sound rather than have to listen to most people talk, much less complain!

What a coincidence.

Mark Frumkinwrote:

Imagine the smell

N Kalliwrote:

Imagine the smell

There isn't any if you know how to care for cats.

Marc801 Cwrote:

There isn't any if you know how to care for cats.

Definitely agree, nothing says "I'm a shitty pet owner" more than a stinky house.

Or an obnoxious and completely untrained dog off leash.

Mark Pilatewrote:

I’ve thought outside the box and kill two birds with one stone.   The crag skunk not only solves the annoying dog and dog owner problem, but tends to also thin out the line on popular routes.

Where can I get one of these Crag Skunks?

If if makes anyone feel better, most times someone's crag dog gets loose or runs away for more than a day, it most likely got eaten by a Mountain Lion. If enough climbers bring leashless dogs maybe we can ACTUALLY help out a species we've been devastating and invading for years?? 

"Food" for thought

5Seven Kevinwrote:

If if makes anyone feel better, most times a sport climber gets loose or runs away for more than a day, it most likely got eaten by a Mountain Lion. If enough  leashless sport climbers are brought to crags maybe we can ACTUALLY help out a species we've been devastating and invading for years?? 

"Food" for thought

This is another option.    

Jesus dude there's a difference between trolling and being completely useless and reiterating your uncreativity in every reply.

Can we lock this thread now? We're at the definition of insanity. People doing the same dumb sh%t expecting different responses 

5Seven Kevinwrote:

Jesus dude there's a difference between trolling and being completely useless and reiterating your uncreativity in every reply.

Can we lock this thread now? We're at the definition of insanity. People doing the same dumb sh%t expecting different responses 

Threads dying but to burry it anymore.  This isn't the definition of insanity nor is it an Albert Einstein quote.