overheard at the crag: post it

The AAC article posted by Hson P is pure gold. Don't miss it because of the off-topic discussion happening up thread.

from the article, "So he began to descend using the hatchet-knife method." 

The whole thing is so good. Needs to be a cartoon.

J W wrote:

Today, City of Rocks, Bath Rock.

I was headed back to the car when I saw a 50-something guy rope soloing on the east face. He appeared stuck, contemplating the moves through a steeper section at roughly 50’. 

I say rope soloing, but he wasn’t wearing a harness, nor was the rope attached to him in any way. It was just hanging on the rock, about five feet to his right. Not wanting to witness the accident I assume was imminent, I put my gear in the car.

As I closed the door, I glanced over, and the guy was looking at me. He slipped, hung on, then started down climbing. When he was about fifteen feet from the ground, he turned and faced out, then slid on his butt the rest of the way and bee lined to me.

“I’m a free soloist. I don’t use ropes.”

Seeing my eyes wander to the rope still hanging, “I carry that with me because I climb things that I can’t down climb. My hands don’t work. But I forgot my tent stake, so I had to use my pocket knife. It’s not as good.”

Then he pulled his phone from his pocket and walked back to the cliff. “Gotta take a picture for my Facebook, so people don’t think I’m crazy.”

What does this even mean 

It means the soloist was just joking with J W. 

Today in WV- "This isn't like those old school R rated sport climbs"

J W wrote:

BL, you silly twit, have I been with you so long, that ye know me not? Are you still disillusioned by the loss of Ted’s rope? Do you, like I do, think the final line in The Outsiders was a prescient nod to said forgotten rope, and with it, all our fervent hopes? “Stay gold, Pony boy.”

You righted this bloody ship, now what? Are those actual crickets I’ve been hearing from this thread, lo these last six days?

Quick! Someone take up a post at Double Cross and lend a ready ear, for even the newly dead speak oftener than the lot of ye. Who hath ears to overhear, let them overhear.

Ryan, engage in a moment of introspection. The irony of your post will no longer be lost on you.

Discussion of a decades-old accident report is verifiably not on topic. Entertaining, yes. But hell’s bells, Turtle Doves, if mere bread and circuses (base entertainment, for the laggards in the back) be the sole criterion, nary a cross word can be leveled at old JDub.

Alas, I’ve overheard nothing else at the crag all week. I tore my mcl on Monday (at the ruddy gym, no less), and the pain, while certainly not extreme, is keeping me awake. Of course!—the dull rhythmic throbbing naturally reminded me of the unjust calumny suffered above. I’m afraid this aggression will not stand.

Thus, this nocturne.

Don’t worry. This post will self destruct before sunset, and we can all go back to contemplating the nature of silence.

I like turtles 

Overheard at the gym: "you can tell who the people who are close to professionals are because they have more stuff on their harness"

By more stuff they mean the 2 random quickdraws, quicklink, and PAS which a few not quite intermediate level climbers seem to have permanently attached to their gym harnesses for toproping 25ft 5.9s

J W wrote:

Please send me whatever thy hast smoked...;-)

Overheard at the gym today. Gym desk staff to my partner:

I saw you hang on that black route over there. Did you flash it?

My partner, thoroughly confused: no, I hung.

Gym staff person: but did you flash it to the top?

Lena chitawrote:

Overheard at the gym today. Gym desk staff to my partner:

I saw you hang on that black route over there. Did you flash it?

My partner, thoroughly confused: no, I hung.

Gym staff person: but did you flash it to the top?

Ah, so they settled for the onsight 

Steve Climberwrote:

Ah, so they settled for the onsight 

It was a hella splitter onsight, tho.

M Rox wrote:

"You want a divorce because I want a second dog, I want a divorce because you rack gates in." 

"Okay, let's watch that video."

One of a pair of bros who showed up at a local sport crag and proceeded to watch videos on harnessing up and tying in.

Lena chitawrote:

Overheard at the gym today. Gym desk staff to my partner:

I saw you hang on that black route over there. Did you flash it?

My partner, thoroughly confused: no, I hung.

Gym staff person: but did you flash it to the top?

I was checking ticks on a route I put up a few years ago. Someone's ticks said they flashed it on 3 separate occasions. I sent them a pm to explain the term.

Overheard from the local gym and crag:
-My fingers are tenderonies.
-This route is totally chossy.
-If you climb like I climb youd be high like everyday.
-Im on a three carrot a day diet.
-Climbing harnesses are like push up bras for butts.

we can play this game all night! 

Lena chitawrote:

Overheard at the gym today. Gym desk staff to my partner:

I saw you hang on that black route over there. Did you flash it?

My partner, thoroughly confused: no, I hung.

Gym staff person: but did you flash it to the top?

Hung once (flash at my gym)

Kevin Suartewrote:

Overheard from the local gym and crag:
-My fingers are tenderonies.
-This route is totally chossy.
-If you climb like I climb youd be high like everyday.
-Im on a three carrot a day diet.
-Climbing harnesses are like push up bras for butts.

we can play this game all night!

climbing gym grunt here--never felt so privileged for working a dead shift [5am-11am]. i imagined half of these and immediately lost appx. 2 brain cells

i think the goofiest thing i've ever heard was someone being confused about our use of noxiously heavy kettlebells instead of floor-bolted ground anchors @ 6am & even then, i get it

Nothing too crazy, but it gave me a chuckle…

A while back at a wall with a few beginner sport climbs.

Boyfriend is leading.  The girlfriend belaying has all the accoutrements you could ever want — belay glasses, belay gloves, a plethora of lead certifications, and even a spare belay device (I suppose in case her grigri wore out during the session.)

Boyfriend looks a little uneasy on the climb, but his clipping is solid.  I know because he loudly announced each clip so I had plenty of warning to watch.

After the fourth or so clip (well into safe fall territory) his foot skates off and he (clearly to his surprise) takes a 2ish foot fall.  The girlfriend is incensed!  “You forgot to say falling!  That could’ve been really dangerous!!”

“You forgot to say falling” is now one of my favorite heckles to someone trying hard at their limit.

Sometimes you forget how little non-climbers understand about climbing. I attached a picture of myself leading a sport climb to my annual Holiday letter and got this reply back from one of my friends:

"Is that you half way up a sheer rock face with a rope *below* you? Jeepers."

Gave me a smile.

Erroll Mwrote:

climbing gym grunt here--never felt so privileged for working a dead shift [5am-11am]. i imagined half of these and immediately lost appx. 2 brain cells

i think the goofiest thing i've ever heard was someone being confused about our use of noxiously heavy kettlebells instead of floor-bolted ground anchors @ 6am & even then, i get it

What was your response? (Just in case I get asked that same question.....)

Matt Robinsonwrote:

Overheard at the gym: "you can tell who the people who are close to professionals are because they have more stuff on their harness"

By more stuff they mean the 2 random quickdraws, quicklink, and PAS which a few not quite intermediate level climbers seem to have permanently attached to their gym harnesses for toproping 25ft 5.9s

That is why I wear a double rack when gym climbing… always remembering to bring some hexes.