overheard at the crag: post it

"TAAAAAAAKE"

-you

Rock!!! Ugh, dude that was my phone.

Paradox Sports day at the ice park; two participants about to rappel into the gorge:

"Honey, don't forget your foot!"

True story... 

My climbing partner and I walking up to the crag: Hey don't we know that girl from the gym... Hey what's up, who are you climbing with?

Girl from gym: Nobody. I'm just toprope soloing.

Us: Cool. What kind of anchor are you building? 

Her: Umm, I don't know. What do you think I should do?

Us: Oh well there's good placements here, here, and here and you could tie a bowline know off of that boulder.

Her: What's a bowline? 

Client  to  guide" can I use that girl's foot as a hand hold?" 

Was climbing next to a super-bro on a climbing tinder date. The girl he was with had obviously never been climbing before. He led an easy 5.7 for her to top rope and as she was getting tied into the climbing side of the TR he made her thread the rope through his belay device while it was on his harness. Definitely a very awkward moment for my group of friends. 

Bryan Kwrote:

Climber leading the 2nd pitch of Physical Graffiti and having a VERY hard time on the first 30 feet of the crack:

"No way this is a 5.6 dude, this is like 5.12!"

So you were there last April?

Claimed every placement on an easily protected 5.7 was bomber. Almost every piece was tipped out or generally poorly placed. When confronted they responded, "that's just my style; how I like to climb."

"The best part of totems is that you can aid on two lobes" 

- the guy that never has stood in aiders before

Over heard at the bar I used to work in.  The  dude was a co worker.  Hot chic, " what's your deal,  are you hung ? " dude,  " I got what I got  and  know how to use it " chic.  " that's too bad  because I don't think you can afford my Saab payments "

Joe’s Garage acts I,II, & III

Colby Wanglerwrote:

Joe’s Garage acts I,II, & III

At least their musical taste is respectable ;) Though I prefer to rock out to Catholic Girls strictly on the way to/from the crag. 

Theo Kalfaswrote:

I wanna hear that climber's scream as they free fall when expecting to be lowered.

no you don't...

I was bouldering in a cave with a couple guys I met in the cave that day. They were there to take photos so they had nice cameras and what-not.

We were bouldering around taking photos when a roped climber walked past on his way to the parking lot and he stopped to chit chat and talk a little photography. With no segue from photography what-so-ever, he asks "Have you guys heard of Pittsburgh Nellie?"

We go "nope, who's Pittsburgh Nellie?" Obviously we all thought she was a local climbing photographer and he was going to tell us she was really good or something like that. Nope.

He then says: "She gives really good hand jobs with her remaining hand, it really helps distract you from that thing on her neck." Then he just turns and walks off while we politely laugh uproariously. Once he was out of earshot we all shared a mutual "what the actual f**k was that??"

Easily the weirdest crag interaction I've had to date 

“Wow, is that one of those guide-books?”

- teenagers to my partner and I at the local kook spot.

I was leading an easy warmup pitch at vantage when this clearly stoned couple walks by. When they were about 10 feet past us the woman whisper shouts and says "WOWWW BABE, THEYRE TRAD CLIMBING!! THATS SO COOL!" 

1982, Overweight tourist at J Tree in a ten gallon hat.  He asked what we were doing, and when we told him, he looked up at Intersection Rock and said: "Climb? Christ I couldn't climb up that if I had HELIUM up my ass."

Michael McNuttwrote:

"The best part of totems is that you can aid on two lobes" 

- the guy that never has stood in aiders before

You don't need to aiders to aid and you can aid on a totem with just to lobes.

Levi Xwrote:

I was leading an easy warmup pitch at vantage when this clearly stoned couple walks by. When they were about 10 feet past us the woman whisper shouts and says "WOWWW BABE, THEYRE TRAD CLIMBING!! THATS SO COOL!" 

I had a stoned guy get super jazzed over my Friends and Alien/Metolius Frakenrack. He kept talking about how I had a collection of history... So to all you guys I bought gear off of thanks for the history!

Mike Schreinerwrote:

Honnold would probably agree. I was talking to a dude who met him at the gym in Boulder and he was saying “Man, I suck at bouldering.”  He’s apparently very humble and self deprecating. 

Honnold has said, "my film crew boulders harder than I do."

But his film crew often includes Jon Glassberg (of LT11) who boulders well into double digits (at least V12), which is no ordinary film crew.  You'd have to be D Woods or Nalle or Jimmy, etc., to outclimb Jon.