overheard at the crag: post it

"You know what, these wag-bags are so great. It doesn't even smell," said the climbers arriving back to the base of Wholesome Fullback as they surveyed the gear and clothes they had left at the base. We climbed that first pitch fast to get away, cause guess what, it did smell.

translation, "My shit don't stink." Classic rock climber.

"Dude, this V1 is like, WAY harder than a V5 in my gym."

"Nah dude Honnold doesn't even boulder that hard at all.  He like just solos big stuff and has good endurance.  We could probably boulder harder than him."

-Bros having a hard time on a V4 in the gym a few years back

Bryan Kwrote:

"Nah dude Honnold doesn't even boulder that hard at all.  He like just solos big stuff and has good endurance.  We could probably boulder harder than him."

-Bros having a hard time on a V4 in the gym a few years back

Honnold would probably agree. I was talking to a dude who met him at the gym in Boulder and he was saying “Man, I suck at bouldering.”  He’s apparently very humble and self deprecating. 

Mike Schreinerwrote:

Honnold would probably agree. I was talking to a dude who met him at the gym in Boulder and he was saying “Man, I suck at bouldering.”  He’s apparently very humble and self deprecating. 

Well in Boulder there are young kids with olympic dreams who really can boulder harder than Alex Honnold. 

J Bwrote:

Well in Boulder there are young kids with olympic dreams who really can boulder harder than Alex Honnold. 

Little fuckers...

climber: "ok, you got me?"

belayer: "ok, off belay..."

"So you just hold this thing, and pull more rope out as I climb up, ok? When I get to the top, just pull on this little lever here and it will lower me back down. Don't worry, you're totally fine! Climbing!"

Heard more often than I like at any area with lots of easy routes.

aikibujinwrote:

"So you just hold this thing, and pull more rope out as I climb up, ok? When I get to the top, just pull on this little lever here and it will lower me back down. Don't worry, you're totally fine! Climbing!"

I wanna hear that climber's scream as they free fall when expecting to be lowered.

My favorites are quotes form non-climbers/hikers walking by the crag:

"What is it y'all are doing? Spelunking?"
To their child: "Look honey, they're crawling up the rocks!"

My personal favorite:

"That's really dangerous! You know that you can get to the top by going around the backside right?!"

More a guide story, but this past summer as I was hiking a group of middle school-age kids in for some 5.3 toproping, I heard one girl say to her friend, "don't be scared, I think we have about a 90% chance of surviving."

Andy Severancewrote:

My favorites are quotes form non-climbers/hikers walking by the crag:

"What is it y'all are doing? Spelunking?"
To their child: "Look honey, they're crawling up the rocks!"

My personal favorite:

"That's really dangerous! You know that you can get to the top by going around the backside right?!"

Sometimes hikers have some zingers though. "Climbing or kidnapping?" when one dude saw us walking into the woods with ropes. 

best I've heard was couple arguing. 

The girlfriend was leading an easy 5.6 but was scared shitless (transitionning from gym to rock) and the BF would not lower her. She then yelled at him:"If you don't lower me right f@#ing now I'll scream and throw these quickdraws at you!!" 

got a good laugh out of that one seeing it live :P

Watched a couple of Swiss ladies at Smith chatting happily while doing laps on 5.12's after leading a 5.13.

A young man walks by and says "they are just the girlfriends"

A lot to unpack there.

From an elderly lady seeing me walk out of the woods with two guys, carrying the big Organic pad, while they were walking with smaller packs:

“You poor thing, the guys are having fun, and you have to carry the bed?!”

Back story: the strap on the pad broke, we tied it off, and I was the only one small enough to actually be able to put the arm through the shortened straps to carry the pad. And the guys were carrying heavy photo equipment, tripods, etc. 

Another one that stuck in my mind:

“If I were to lose 5 pounds, I bet I could totally climb that 5.9!”

(Said by an average-sized woman, 29-something, maybe 140lb. Funny, but not really funny.)

Lena chitawrote:

From an elderly lady seeing me walk out of the woods with two guys, carrying the big Organic pad, while they were walking with smaller packs:

“You poor thing, the guys are having fun, and you have to carry the bed?!”

Back story: the strap on the pad broke, we tied it off, and I was the only one small enough to actually be able to put the arm through the shortened straps to carry the pad. And the guys were carrying heavy photo equipment, tripods, etc. 

Yes the correct response to anyone asking what those things are on your back is "its a portable sex machine"

Lets set the scene... 20 shiny cams, 3 guys, lots of whipping on poorly placed gear in a pretty chill classic 5.7, took all three of them taking turns pushing the rope higher to get to the top (~50ft)…

and then "... I'm almost done getting my SPI Certification..."

M Appelquist wrote:

Climber 10 feet up polished route: “Do you have me on your belay device?”

Partners response (not me): “Nah, you don’t have a piece in yet so it doesn’t matter.”

They were not really wrong...

"Jacob said if I started climbing outside, I would only be projecting V6. That is total BS, I climb way harder than that." 

Climber on lead below an overhanging bulge: 

*hold blows* 

[strings of explatives] 

Okay okay okay...PANIC DYNO!!!

*panic dynos* *sticks it*

Don't know the guy's name, but I see him around every now and then and refer to him as "panic dyno guy".