Childfree because I don't want to fuck up my climbing; husband not happy

I might've missed one or two, but I don't think I read many responses from climber-moms. You know why? We are busy climbing and raising kids. Both are so much joy, we got no time for forums. I popped a ligament and kid sleeping over with friends, so I got time:)

I agree noone should force such choice on anyone, if you don't want kids - you don't want kids. Don't make anyone convince you otherwise, doubt it would lead to any good.

For me personally having a kid was a right choice, the love I feel for my daughter and the joy of having her in my life is way beyond any compromises I ever needed to make. 

But you asked about experiences, so here are my thoughts. In retrospect, physical aspect was least of an issue for me, I recovered quickly (PM if you want details), faster than from my shoulder surgery. Of course you will spend at least 6+ months away from crushing, but it's such a small part of your life. Sure, there are no guarantees,but I think being a healthcare professional and seeing all the bad cases makes it worse for you now, your body is in good shape and there is absolutely no reason to expect things going badly. Bigger issues come later. You will need to prioritize between things you really really want to do, you will have to be very shrewd managing your time. And you will disappoint people with your choices. You will have to be honest with your partner, sync up and agree on these priorities and then you both will need to work hard to be loyal to your agreement, there will probably be friction. And it will be hard to leave home and go on a trip and it will be hard to come back. And you will have to contemplate what happens if you don't come back. But hard is not impossible, and rewards are definitely there. 

As much as climbing is a huge part of my life, probably defines me personally more than anything else, it's not all. It would be a very empty and boring if that was all I had. And you never know, perhaps there is a mother-daughter climbing trip in my future, a very very safe one :)

But it is all that some people have, and that is sad. I know them, not for me. Life is diverse it seems a lot of people who climb live for it. I loveit,y grnadson did his first today.But Iike skiing, surfing, ww kayakimg,going to ball games or plays. 

To a mans ear he hears something different than a women's ear. They wanted to have kids. They agreed to have kids, then she started climbing, got her "hard body" or whatever, now she doesn't want kids...or to be married to take it one step further. She is just leaving that part out. Been there done thathave a coule dozen t-shirts all bull shit.

You can look at the world thru rose colored glasses but go back to first post. I have seen this so many times I wish i could get hubby on the line and tell him the deal. I said 6 months to a year? I'm taking odds at 3-6 months now...2 to 1. I'm a realist it is what it is, human nature doesn't change hasn't since the beginning of time. Read between the lines. 

And there is nothing wrong with her wanting out bu this isn't abouthaving kids, about commitment and second thoughts on how she wants to live her life. Thats okay but just be honest don't comeout with a line of BS. 

I was taught, and have learned from life that this is true. The right thing to do is always the hardest thing to do. Thats why we're a society or finger pointers and apologists. Just own your decision, be honest aboutit, get divorced and move om. If their together in 6 months i'm buying everyone virtual donuts and coffee.

Duh. Get out. Kids are no joke. You need to 100% want them or they will dominate you. We have 2 kids. My wife and I really wanted kids and really love being parents, but it still whips our asses. It’s type 4 fun. 

When I was younger I was captured behind lines in Vietnam, though it only lasted several years, I grew a lot as a person and became a better man. I don't think PTSD is for everyone, you have to really want it, but I can't imagine not being a POW now. It made me who I am. There is so much more in life than not being a POW I feel sorry for those missing out. Pretty much everyone who has not been through these struggles is shallow and self centered. The physical conditions were the least of it. I still remember being tortured by that man chao it taught me so much. So yea, be like me, get your PTSD on!! I promise you will develop Stockholm syndrome and love your captors by the end.

Can we talk about climbing couples next?

Dang, this troll is getting really fat. I fear she won't have the hard body or climbing ability she did back in the OP. 

I agree with your final assessment, that you shouldn't have kids.  I think the reason you and I came to that conclusion may be a bit different.  Maybe you should have a heart to heart with your hubby, figure out what you are really committed to, and go from there. Honestly, your body (as well as everyone) will eventually get more weak, flabby, and ugly.  BUT if maintaining that is important, then keep it up and keep the world population down a little. 

dindolino32 wrote:

Honestly, your body (as well as everyone) will eventually get more weak, flabby, and ugly.  

That might be but the biggest difference most older climbers like me agree on is recovery time (went from 1 or 2 to 3 or 4 days, depending on how depleted we got) and the likelihood of injury (no more heinous crimp, dynos, or hard landings), more so than weight.  I weigh 6# heavier now than 20 years ago, but I was too skinny in 1997 (male, BMI = 18.5).

Lots of strong, fit and good looking older climbers. Maybe not including me...

Age does take it's toll, esp wrt recovery, as  S Neoh says. 

climbing friend,

no matter how old you would be getting, you may always utilize the boner pills, great success!

you should have kids!!! Then... Divorce his bitch ass, take the kids, and use the child support money to fund your dirt bag/hard core climbing life style (you can ditch the kids off with your parents)...It's obvious what you should do

Chilrdren deserve to be born into a family where the parents love them more than climbing.

http://rockandice.com/climbing-news/steve-mcclure-establishes-u-k-s-first-9b-5-15b-rainman

Flabby mcFlabberson.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6XwTCTFfxuc

Flabba Dabba do!

https://m.epictv.com/media/podcast/68-year-old-lee-sheftel-bosses-8a-in-the-rockies-%7C-epictv-climbing-daily-ep-352/600481

Flabalicious!

Another flabbed out mom:

I gotta say, I didn't view this as a women getting punted yet again issue, especially in light of OP's body/lifestyle concerns. Also, I was surprised it was the husband pressing the kid button.

But, yeah, women get the brunt of the deal. I don't blame anybody forgoing the experience. Fishing for the right answer and excoriating us is lame, however.

Frankly, I saw this as primarily the OP's responsibility to have an honest discussion with her husband, not a blame deflection or assignation.

Jack Quarless wrote:

When I was younger I was captured behind lines in Vegas, though it only lasted several years, I grew a lot as a person and became a better man. I don't think PTSD is for everyone, you have to really want it, but I can't imagine not being a POW now. It made me who I am. There is so much more in life than not being a POW I feel sorry for those missing out. Pretty much everyone who has not been through these struggles is shallow and self centered. The physical conditions were the least of it. I still remember being tortured by those pesky kids, Ayden & Sofia, it taught me so much. So yea, be like me, get your PTSD on!! I promise you will develop Stockholm syndrome and love your captors by the end.

lol...fixed, to tell my story... ;)

hunny, if your reading this(and by reading I mean stalking) I'm just kidding.... 

John Kelly I think you are dead on.

Takes one seriously selfish & narcissistic chic to blow up her husbands spot on a public climbing forum, instead of sitting down and discussing it with him privately. "Will pregnancy affect my climbing performance" is an MP matter, not "Should I have my hubby's babies and risk no longer being hot and desirable at the crag or in scrubs". Should have stayed private and girl should just be honest.

That being said, I can relate to getting into your 30's and feeling as though your motherhood gene has mutated. All my girlfriends are pregnant or chasing toddlers and I'm over here like "where all those climbing boys at with educations, no strings, and big fat trad racks". Maybe she and I should just start a narcissistic ladies climbing club.

John Kelly wrote:

This got off track. Not abut women climbing hell some the hottest girl I dated climbed had kids were smart, nice honest and loyal companions . 

The issue is she made a commitment, then, and good for her, got in shape, got a little attention (read between the lines people) and now wants to reneg. And that's okay too! We're all allowed to change our minds. She's just not being honest about her reasons and that shit burns me seen it so many times people can't face the truth so they make up bullshit to make themselves feel better, tell themselves what they di was okay when they know inside it wasn'...

You're insane. 

stlcrim wrote:

John Kelly I think you are dead on.

Takes one seriously selfish & narcissistic chic to blow up her husbands spot on a public climbing forum, instead of sitting down and discussing it with him privately. "Will pregnancy affect my climbing performance" is an MP matter, not "Should I have my hubby's babies and risk no longer being hot and desirable at the crag or in scrubs". Should have stayed private and girl should just be honest.

That being said, I can relate to getting into your 30's and feeling as though your motherhood gene has mutated. All my girlfriends are pregnant or chasing toddlers and I'm over here like "where all those climbing boys at with educations, no strings, and big fat trad racks". Maybe she and I should just start a narcissistic ladies climbing club.

So are you. 

Rob Gordon wrote:

So are you. 

Most definitely.

(Also, I   trolli-o's, obvi).