Best MP Comment or Tick Note

What's the most funny/amusing/overall entertaining comment or tick you've read on here? Route descriptions and forum posts don't count.

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My contribution is this phenomenal piece of poetry. Thanks Jasper for sharing your art.

"I often wonder if God herself dropped a static line, rapped this route with hammer and chisel, and carved out the primordial sequence. When the aliens invade and ask us to demonstrate earth’s value under threat of destruction, I vote we put them on the sharp end of Release the Hens. "

"The bones cry for the blood of the black whale.  A few goes."

In response to someone named Dave being mad about a photo of a climber standing on 2 drilled angles on a desert tower route that goes free:

Dave, I stood on those killer foot holds also and Brad and I both forgive you for being a jerk. We understand that you were probably in a bad mood when you wrote this because you have a small penis. I feel your pain I also have a small penis and am often in a bad mood because of it. Brad on the other hand had a huge dick and is quite a jolly fellow.

Peace and Love

Climbed it without any difficulties. No send.

w/ Christopher + Lita & Sam. While I appreciate all bolting efforts, I hate this route. Abrasive. Short. Uninteresting movement. Covered in pine needles with an uncomfortable belay. Cut open two fingertips. The rock feels at all times like it's going to disintegrate, sporting loose holds for both hands and feet. I hereby demand Daniel's rating privileges be revoked and all record of his existence on MP be expunged, lest I be tricked into climbing another "3-star" route. His reign of madness must end.

https://www.mountainproject.com/route/stats/120715008/hidden-block

Lead / Fell/Hung.

Lead / Brown Point.

From Tachycardia 5.7, a prominent tower near the mouth of Maple Canyon

Steve Olson wrote:

From Tachycardia 5.7, a prominent tower near the mouth of Maple Canyon

Wow, I know where to go on my next climbing date. 

Steve Olson wrote:

From Tachycardia 5.7, a prominent tower near the mouth of Maple Canyon

Gold, I love the name censorship but posting the climb. I did some r&d and realized I know that dude!

Steve Olson wrote:

From Tachycardia 5.7, a prominent tower near the mouth of Maple Canyon

Is that the true definition of pinkpoint?

saign charlestein wrote:

Is that the true definition of pinkpoint?

Hopefully the gear wasn't pre placed or that pro would have been a little sketchy by the top out!

Cory N wrote:

Gold, I love the name censorship but posting the climb. I did some r&d and realized I know that dude!

You either know that dude or are that dude. 

"TR. Really hard to get established on the face for TR or lead. Chossy, a couple feet broke on me. Not sure I’m interested in climbing again." 

Lol                                                                              

saign charlestein wrote:

Is that the true definition of pinkpoint?

I don’t think we can say for certain that it wasn’t a brownpoint.

Princess Puppy Lovr wrote:

I don’t think we can say for certain that it wasn’t a brownpoint.

Now I finally know what brown point means! Thanks MP!

Steve Olson wrote:

From Tachycardia 5.7, a prominent tower near the mouth of Maple Canyon

This dude must have had a pretty epic day. Lead his first pitch, had sex with Lana, and had great sex with Nico!

This is actually from UKC, but thought it appropriate for this thread. It's from an alpine route in the dolomites:

Long long day. Many mistakes. Firstly I forgot to take helmet so had to run from the base of the wall to hut and back again (40 minutes). On the second pitch on the ramp i climbed too far and we had to abseil diagonally down to little pillar stance. Whole day in the clouds. Chimney pitches unpleasently wet. Toped out at 21.15. Descent down in the dark and completely exhaustead back to hut 2 a.m. The best mountain experience so far.