Slowest Method of Climbing with a Party of Three

So here's the situation:
You are climbing multiptich (preferably on a classic route with few options for passing) in a group of three because, apparently,  you enjoy the silent rage that develops in parties behind you.
The question is:
Whats the slowest possible way to climb with a party of three in order to maximise other people's frustration?

You could have one follower on one rope and the other on a different rope. The leader only takes up one rope with them and begins to belay the second. Once the second reaches the top, the third is then belayed. 

I saw a group in Seneca with one leader, one rope, and lots of followers. After a follower made it up, they'd untie and throw the rope back down for the next to climb.

I suppose the leader could have rapped down to check their knot and ascended the line if they really wanted to be thorough.

Bring a portaledge and claim you're practicing for a NIAD attempt.

Adam Gallimore wrote: You could have one follower on one rope and the other on a different rope. The leader only takes up one rope with them and begins to belay the second. Once the second reaches the top, the third is then belayed. 

Inchworm style.

Single cord. Tie the second into the midpoint with an 8-on-a-bite, have them follow, then have the third follow separately, when and only when the second has completed their pitch, up to the belay. Use a 50m to "keep it old school" and pitch out the Bastille in like 600 pitches. 

Adam Gallimore wrote: You could have one follower on one rope and the other on a different rope. The leader only takes up one rope with them and begins to belay the second. Once the second reaches the top, the third is then belayed. 

That's called the caterpillar method and it doesn't have to be slow, especially if the same person leads every pitch. Leader can be racking up with the second person up belays the third. With a grigri and guide mode device the leader could even start before the third is done, middle person belays both at the same time

OP asked about the slowest method. That would be with one rope, untie and throw it down to the third after every pitch as Mojo described above. Even better if the route has some traversing and getting the rope down requires multiple attempts. Alternate leads to increase the cluster factor even more.

Climb with me bro', I am old and slow...

I am going to use Bastille Crack as an example...show up before the park even opens and dump your gear at the base and rope up like you're going to climb. Drink coffee for at least 30 minutes before you decide who is going to lead first. The trick on the first pitch is to place a lot of gear, and use the intermediate belay bolts instead of the higher gear anchor.  Always make sure you bring up each follower individually. Repeat ad nauseum.

The ropes should be piled together in no particular organization, so they will get snarled, resulting in yelling and crying.

No gear should be extended. resulting in heinous rope drag, stuck cams and resulting retrieval efforts/hanging/cursing.

The second shouldn't make any effort to pre-rack gear for a quick turnaround.

Every belay should be an opportunity to post to Instagram, take off shoes and drink Kombu Cha.

Rap the route, even though there is an easy walk off.

 Tricams definitely tricams

You guys aren't thinking outside the box.  Have each of the 3 lead every pitch.

Buck Rio wrote: Climb with me bro', I am old and slow...

I am going to use Bastille Crack as an example...show up before the park even opens and dump your gear at the base and rope up like you're going to climb. Drink coffee for at least 30 minutes before you decide who is going to lead first. The trick on the first pitch is to place a lot of gear, and use the intermediate belay bolts instead of the higher gear anchor.  Always make sure you bring up each follower individually. Repeat ad nauseum.

The ropes should be piled together in no particular organization, so they will get snarled, resulting in yelling and crying.

No gear should be extended. resulting in heinous rope drag, stuck cams and resulting retrieval efforts/hanging/cursing.

The second shouldn't make any effort to pre-rack gear for a quick turnaround.

Every belay should be an opportunity to post to Instagram, take off shoes and drink Kombu Cha.

Rap the route, even though there is an easy walk off.

You forgot something that one of my partners would do (that drove the rest of us insane): 10-15 minutes of stretching exercises before climbing.

Wow this is good. Alright here is how you do it - climb in a party of three. First leader climbs to the high crux and gets scared and cries. After calming down, you then builds a gear anchor 10 feet below the actual anchor and belays the other two up to said gear anchor. Then the same person proceeds to lead to the anchor 10 feet away, and belay the other two up.

You then repeat the process again on actual pitch 2, maybe without the crying.

This happened to a party ahead of me. On Castleton, on North Chimney. Its only 5.8+ right? I can lead 5.8 on Wallstreet, I should be good.

Attentive Follower wrote:

That's called the caterpillar method and it doesn't have to be slow, especially if the same person leads every pitch. Leader can be racking up with the second person up belays the third. With a grigri and guide mode device the leader could even start before the third is done, middle person belays both at the same time

A lot of my climbing has been with 3 people, and bitd the caterpillar or inchworm was the way to do it. We got really good and efficient and had it totally dialed. We regularly passed parties of two, even on stuff that was hard for us. It always seemed that while many of the slower parties were able to climb relatively quickly, they'd take 20 minutes at the belay changovers. Racking on their harnesses was often a huge time-suck, with *every* piece and racking biner being handled at least twice.

Have everyone wear a backpack. 

Use only one rope and always haul an extra bag or three with the same rope. Be sure to setup a portaledge blocking the route at each belay to increase comfort between pitches. Climber 1 climbs up P1 to setup a solo TR, raps down so they can solo it as well, climber 2 TR solos P1. climber 3 must be hauled up because they are a quadriplegic. Rinse and repeat.

Each person practices escaping the belay, On every pitch.

Lead the route, and fix a trail line. If the route wanders clip the trail rope too. Bring up second and third person solos on a Microtrax on the fixed line. Oh wait, that is how to climb fast, never mind...

Serge Smirnov wrote: You guys aren't thinking outside the box.  Have each of the 3 lead every pitch.

It worked for Tommy and Kevin. They stayed up there for 19 days! XD

Bring someone who has never climbed before and post up on every pitch red point siege style. Lower them to start over after every fall/take. Every time the newbie goes for another redpoint attempt, make sure they scream, “THIS IS MY DAWN WALL”.

Victory whip every placement.. leader and both followers

Climb with stoners, smoke a lot of weed at every  belay, take shoes off between pitches,   since you are stoned make sure you snack  together at the belay.  Place  gear close enuf to aid  climb, but  back clean it  because  your rack isn't big enuf. Being so stoned the leader takes  a long time to set up a trad belay. (I got bored and started  free soloing) using  this method it takes all day  to  climb a 200 ft   4 pitch  route.(true  story)