your dream sponsor

if you could get sponsored by ONE (1) climbing gear focused company, which would it be? the rule that i am making up is, if you use a product category that they produce, you have to use one of their products. but those products are then free to you. any other category and you're paying for your own stuff but can use whatever you want. so like, if you choose petzl, you can use only their ropes (since they make ropes), their biners (since they make biners), their belay devices (same) and you get them for free, and soon you'll need to use their cams and give up your totems. but since they don't make nuts you could use DMM nuts for example. etc. discuss!

Black Diamond

Edelrid, their stuff just feels like it's consistently a step above the rest in terms of quality

Red Bull

Mercedes 

The first sentence of the post literally specifies that it's a "climbing gear focused company" that the question posed is asking

EDIT: alright it's a free for all so let's go with it. I amend my answer to be Monster Energy so I can have endless white monsters and punch holes in as many walls and doors as possible

Cosmic Hotdogwrote:

The first sentence of the post literally specifies that it's a "climbing gear focused company" that the question posed is asking

I know this isn't your 1st time here. This is the internet, there are NO rules.

Frito Lays forever!

Either La Sportiva, or Arc'teryx.

The first one--because I like their shoes. The 2nd one, is because I love their harness. Definitely wouldn't mind some pricey clothes from either brand for free... 

And I wouldn't have to sacrifice on my preferences for ropes or other gear, because they don't make that kind of gear.

Trader Joe's

Whatever has the highest resale.

Discuss.

Cosmic Hotdogwrote:

The first sentence of the post literally specifies that it's a "climbing gear focused company" that the question posed is asking

I would contend that one particular model of Mercedes is the primo piece of climbing gear. 

Taylor or Martin, either one would be fine.

Intruguing and thought provoking, thanks for a reason to delay my real work.  

No for the following:

• BD due to their skis (prefer DPS/ La Sportiva), bindings (prefer marker/ G3), shoes (La Sportiva), harnesses (prefer Petzl / Metolious), ropes (prefer Sterling, Mammut, Edelrid), and clothing (some good stuff, but prefer to be able to shop around).
• Arcteryx due to their shoes (prefer Altra, La Sportiva) and clothing (some good stuff, but prefer to be able to shop around).
• Edelrid due to their harnesses (prefer Petzl), red chili shoes (prefer La Sportiva), ice stuff (prefer Petzl, BD, Trango), and clothing (some good stuff, but prefer to be able to shop around).
• Mammut due to their clothing clothing (some good stuff, but prefer to be able to shop around) and specifically their avy backpacks (prefer ABS or the Arcteryx).
• DMM due to their cams (prefer BD) and their harnesses (prefer Petzl)
• 5.10 due to their shoes (prefer La Sportiva)
• Metiulious due to cams (prefer BD) and biners (prefer DMM).  I dig their haul bags, packs, and harness.

Close, could probably compromise with these:

• La Sportiva.  Not a 100% fan of their clothing (some good stuff, but prefer to shop around).  I could probably compromise will all their clothing as pretty much everything else from Bla Snortiva is fabulous. 
• G3. Love their bindings, but not a fan of their skis.  I could adapt.  Doesn't get you a lot of free stuff...

Winners:

• Im not super stoked on Petzl ropes or non-locking biners, but i could get over that; everything else is generally very good. So probably Petzl. Petzl also doesn't really sell packs (outside the rope bags), so you can shop around for what you want.  Petzl also doesn't sell shoes, ski stuff, clothes, so totally free to shop around. if they make cams I can probably adapt. 
• red bull is always delicious, cornered the market.  
• Mercedes van is all you need, done!
• PBR and Frito also are well covered single source items for remaining food groups.

I have most stuff I need for climbing (even though my buddies who have seen my rack violently disagree), but if Fort Knox could provide me some "training weights" for my gym sesh, that'll be all.

Victoria’s Secret?

highaltitudeflatulentexpulsionwrote:

I would contend that one particular model of Mercedes is the primo piece of climbing gear. 

If you are a California ice climber, you might be better served by a Porsche. Or Lamborghini. 

Raytheon. I’ll be unstoppable. 

How many accounts am I allowed to start to secretly promote myself to them? 

Oh that's easy - La Sportiva.  That is the only shoe brand I wear and I currently have 6 pairs of them, 4 different models pretty new and 2 duplicate models pretty old that I wear in the gym.  I guess the unsmart thing about this choice is I'm at the age where I may never need to actually to buy any more shoes before I croak, so it would be a pretty cheap sponsorship for them. 

My backup choice is Ensure Max Protein liquid shakes.  I consume one every day that I climb. That is the only brand of prepared shake I use so that would work.  Unless by your rules that would be the only source of food I could consume, in which case, I wouldn't do it.  I'd miss fish tacos too much.

Fixe hardware

Nobody said totems?!?

I don’t wanna be sponsored by totems.  I want to be sponsored by metolious.  The gear is admittedly not that good but it seems like a cool brand  

But to make you all laugh.  I would be sponsored by euro tape.  I could tape my way through any wide crack anywhere just by taping my fists till they fit