Overheard at the crag 2025

I havent seen this thread in a long time so i figured i would start it again based on something i heard today:

"Humans are 80% water so cannibalism really isnt that bad, its just hydration"

“What do you think Lincoln Knowles would taste like?”

*Outrageously loud terrible music*

True story

" Okay Mr.Cam, Im gonna try and put you in this crack now. I really hope you can catch me if I fall Mr.Cam. Mr.Cam, my life is is your hands."  overheard a leader talking to themselves through Easy V - Gunks 

Setting up a top rope anchor at grand ledge (probably for the last time cause the amount of fcking chalk embedded in the sandstone disgusts me... If I lived there I would agitate for the city to ban chalk outright and put up signs.) 

Guy is setting up an anchor with webbing. Other guy offers him some static line to set up another climb if he wants. Him: "I don't know how to use static line." Lol 

Climber: Watch me

Belayer: I got ya good

Climber: Well get me better

Of course my own personal favorite when amongst others at the crag is to say to my partner, "Now how does this thing work again?" To which there is an equally silly replay.

"Watch me!"

"That's ok bro, I've already done this route!"

Awhile ago I overheard this gem of a story:

I was belaying my friend on a trad climb. He places some gear, then runs it out to the crux and hesitates. He starts shaking out his arms, then his legs start shaking and he is obviously nervous. At this point he is really run out and it's questionable I'll be able to keep him off the ground if he falls. I yell "PLACE A PIECE!" and suddenly he starts climbing super fast, grunting, absolutely thugging his way through the crux, and clips the chains before placing any more gear. Whew!

I lower him and said "Why didn't you place a piece!?" 

"Oh! You said "PLACE A PIECE", I thought you said 'UNLEASH THE BEAST'!"

Overheard a dude lamenting closures: “There’s too many raptors anyways.”

I was behind a couple on a multi a little while ago, and it was her first multi lead. Every time she got stuck/nervous he would sing "can't go over it, can't go under it, oh no! you gotta go through it". I've adopted it myself on runouts.

"You guys ever heard of Alex Hornol?" 

David Mileswrote:

"You guys ever heard of Alex Hornol?" 

"Oh, you're a rock climber? Have you seen Free Solo?"

Dennis Maywrote:

"Oh, you're a rock climber? Have you seen Free Solo?"

What do you mean they free climbed it?!

"Y'all free-climbin' er jus' pro-pellin'?"

"Sorry, you can't climb this route yet, my friends are getting on it next, they were supposed to be here 20 minutes ago, but they sent me a text and they're on their way now." 

Chris Mwrote:

Setting up a top rope anchor at grand ledge (probably for the last time cause the amount of fcking chalk embedded in the sandstone disgusts me... If I lived there I would agitate for the city to ban chalk outright and put up signs.) 

Guy is setting up an anchor with webbing. Other guy offers him some static line to set up another climb if he wants. Him: "I don't know how to use static line." Lol 

If only we were all so humble.

At Smith last spring. Climbers next to us: guy's leading a 10-something slab, looking hesitant,  and his belayer calls up "don't fall there, it will just be a cheese-grater for 10 feet." Don't know if they were joking but that's what we do regularly now on slab (but only with friends who know the story or were there). 

My mentor, the seasoned veteran, hopelessly sorting through a mess of gear, just before our trip...

"Well, you know, if I had my shit together, I'd have had a different life..."

“You’re a big strong man, you’re a big strong man, you’re…” — dude I climbed with a few months ago, to himself, right before leading a horrid 5.10 squeeze chimney.

To be fair to him, he did send.

“Your fixed line for rebolting is causing access issues, especially since it’s been up and inactive for so long.” My friends line was up for a week! However a fixed line for pictures has been hanging for 2 months.

Chris Mwrote:

Setting up a top rope anchor at grand ledge (probably for the last time cause the amount of fcking chalk embedded in the sandstone disgusts me... If I lived there I would agitate for the city to ban chalk outright and put up signs.) 

Guy is setting up an anchor with webbing. Other guy offers him some static line to set up another climb if he wants. Him: "I don't know how to use static line." Lol

The amount of "stuff" GL has seen is insane.  As a fellow GL climber I wouldn't be oppposed to a chalk ban, might even allow them to open up Oak park across the street. That being said that crag is has so much choss, chalk, and grafiti.  It would take a long time for some sort of restoration 

Honestly props to the guy for not attempting something he is unfamiliar with.  Of course especially at grand ledge it isn't that different, but I'll take a less efficent climber over an unsafe one any day.