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tommy caldwell moves to california?
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Speaking of Mike, when Tommy was 13, they climbed Longs Peak together. It was a brisk, autumn day, not a cloud in the sky and no one else on the summit. Mike said to Tommy, "IT IS TIME." and they both shed their gear and any unneeded clothing. What then transpired was a genius example of hand-to-hand combat, as Tommy literally fought for his life -- and honor. "USE WHAT YOU'VE LEARNED!", Mike screamed at the much more diminutive Tommy, the much larger and more experienced Sr. Caldwell pummeled Tommy into hamburger meat. But a fire was lit inside of young Tommy, and he fought back with all his might. At the very precipice of the East Face, Tommy choked Mike using the strength of all his ten fingers, a strength sharped by a hundred thousand hand jams, lifted up old Mike, and threw him off the very face of the Diamond! Mike screamed back, "YOU ARE NOW TRULY MY SON!!!" and vanished into the abyss. Tommy, shaken but proud, pulled himself together, grabbed the gear that was left on the summit, and rappeled down to the base of the Diamond, and fished for Mike's body, which he found in the bergschrund. Making a simple sledge, he pulled the corpse back to the trailhead, hidden underneath backpacks and ropes. Near the car, in a small clearing by the parking lot, he skinned old Mike using the techniques he learned from their various deer and elk hunting expeditions, then ate the still warm heart of the old man. "we ware now one.", he whispered to himself. A simple funeral pyre was built and Tommy burned the remaining flesh of Mike. He mixed the remaining bones with the bones of a long-gone moose he spotted on the way up. Who we know as Mike is actually his preserved skin wrapped in an old Chuck-E-Cheese animatronic band member, cleverly brought back to life by Tommy himself. And to this day, Tommy has kept Mike and his spirit alive -- until last Fall, where he himself felt the ancestral need to travel to Tahoe with his prodigies, to re-enact the Caldwell tradition, as his youngest inches ever closer to 13. Never has the top of El Cap seen the type of drama unfold than it will on that fateful day: the true Dawning of the Wall, and the day the Fitz takes his place in the Caldwell legacy that stretches for a thousand generations. Tommy has been preparing his mind and body for this day since that Autumn day over 30 years ago. |
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Wow. Way to cross THAT line... |
Shaniac wrote: Well obviously he has access to some really good <your pick of psycho-active substances goes here>. |
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Tommy Caldwell fan fiction is better than creeping on the dude, I guess. |
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I've been substance-free for some time, but I'll never be able to erase my liberal arts degree past. When you're lying in your tricked out super sprinter and hear a rattling outside, maybe it's the wind, or maybe it's me writing my next work of fiction in the sand with a tree branch. you may never know... |
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It’s a good page headliner. A palate cleanser. Creepy stalking would be the fact I’ve rolled by Honnold’s compound a couple times just to see what tall climbing $$$ gets a fella. It’s very nice. I like. |
Long Ranger wrote: You forgot to add when Tommy went to leave the parking lot, the sun had gone down and the gate was closed, which was a long aluminum bar. Tommy ripped the bar off it's hinges and stuck it in the ground. Thus creating the holiday of Festivus. |
Ricky Harline wrote: Tommy Caldwell can divide by 0. Tommy Caldwell can slam a revolving door. Tommy Caldwell can speak braille. |
Gosh Glance wrote: Tommy Caldwell can make me happy |
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If you ever happen to knock on your own front door, from the inside, Tommy Caldwell will open it. Because the great outdoors is his home. |
