Funniest trip reports of epics?

I recently realized how funny trip reports of "epics" are, as long as there's an accident-free happy ending. 

Shiver-bivying on a micron sized ledge, zombie-mode stumbling down trails, pioneering new rap routes when you miss an anchor or descend the wrong gully... maybe I enjoy vicariously suffering through these stories in my air conditioned office, or maybe it brings back happy memories of my epics. Whatever the reasoning, I get a kick out of reading them and would love to see if any of you have any particularly funny ones saved!

Here are two hilarious TRs to kick things off:

Mark Thomas' 40 hour day on the complete North ridge of Lone Pine Peak

Choss boys epic descent of the North ridge of Mt. Stuart - including accidentally hiking many miles past the car

Not a written trip report, but the video of the brothers who spent 23 hours on the Regular Route of Fairview Dome might be exactly what you’re looking for. Something about the matter-of-fact narration style paired with the unconventional tactics makes for delightful viewing.

https://youtu.be/ux3djAwF_5I?si=b6P0Oy-JadjGBE6o

Collin H wrote:

Not a written trip report, but the video of the brothers who spent 23 hours on the Regular Route of Fairview Dome might be exactly what you’re looking for. Something about the matter-of-fact narration style paired with the unconventional tactics makes for delightful viewing.

https://youtu.be/ux3djAwF_5I?si=b6P0Oy-JadjGBE6o

The selfie pano @ 4:09 had me dying laughing haha

This trip qualifies

http://www.supertopo.com/climbing/thread.php?topic_id=815911&msg=815911#msg815911

A humble submission:
http://www.supertopo.com/climbers-forum/440713/TR-East-Buttress-El-Capitan-July-27-29-2007

not sure where i saw it, but there was a trip report about a party who spent something like 4 days on the north ridge of mount stuart.  it was pretty funny.

This is a phenomenal topic idea so I needed to give it a ‘bump’ to see if anyone else has any funny epic trip reports to share. The video posted by Collin H is pure comedy gold.

Collin H wrote:

Not a written trip report, but the video of the brothers who spent 23 hours on the Regular Route of Fairview Dome might be exactly what you’re looking for. Something about the matter-of-fact narration style paired with the unconventional tactics makes for delightful viewing.

https://youtu.be/ux3djAwF_5I?si=b6P0Oy-JadjGBE6o

All the pano shots with yellow helmet brother where he keeps his profile dead center of the shot were great. I also loved them showing how to make tape gloves “this is what the finished product looks like” then at the top of the first pitch his glove has been completely destroyed.

Fun thread.

Limpingcrab earns his handle

http://www.supertopo.com/tr/A-Tale-of-Choss-and-Chimney-The-FFA-of-Hidden-Chimney/t13221n.html

A few years a go a friend and i quested up an old obscure valley aid route and did the second ascent and FFA of it. Doubt anyone will ever repeat it, but it was an epic!

The classic tale of climbing the leaning tower only hydrating with beer is right at home here.

http://www.supertopo.com/climbers-forum/9229/Leaning-Tower-Swill-Story 

Max R wrote:

http://www.supertopo.com/tr/A-Tale-of-Choss-and-Chimney-The-FFA-of-Hidden-Chimney/t13221n.html

A few years a go a friend and i quested up an old obscure valley aid route and did the second ascent and FFA of it. Doubt anyone will ever repeat it, but it was an epic!

"...lover of all things wide and holy, willing to go up anything covered in moss, and if it involves a shiver bivy... he’s in."

No truer words have ever been said of Elliott. Climbing with that man was always a spirit quest!

Years ago, Miguel and I were eating lunch in our car at Intersection Rock in J Tree. A guy walked up and started to solo The Left Ski Track. We recognized John Bachar. 

At the same time, a group of tourists in Stetson hats and cowboy boots gathered to watch. One of them, loudly pointed out that this was nothing but a scramble and really easy one at that and proceeded to put his pointy boots into the crack. He actually made it about ten feet up. And then, he got stuck. An incredible mayhem started as the rest of the group tried to get him down to no avail. For some minutes, the group was running around like idiots, yelling and crying. After a while, John showed up, climbed to the guy, forcibly pulled the guy's boot from the crack and the man fell down to the ground like a sack of potatoes. And then, funnily, he told everybody how really easy it was, only if he had better boots...BTW The route is 5.11 A.

Kip Kasper wrote:

The classic tale of climbing the leaning tower only hydrating with beer is right at home here.

http://www.supertopo.com/climbers-forum/9229/Leaning-Tower-Swill-Story 

THANK YOU FOR FINDING THIS! I remember reading it but hadn't been able to find it for a few years.

It's an all time tale of bad decisions.

I would like to nominate John Ewbank (yes the one who invented the Australian grading system) recalling his first climb with Bryden Allen, up the now-defunct Echo Point aid route in Katoomba.

http://www.supertopo.com/climbing/thread.php?topic_id=2292864&tn=0

It starts about halfway through the transcript, text search for "Bryden Allen". Or read the whole talk!

"When we got to Katoomba he said I wasn’t allowed to look at our proposed route until we got down the track as far as the bridge at Honeymoon Point. When we arrived there he had this really smug expression on his face and said okay, I could turn around and have a look. I nearly started crying. I thought: this guy’s even more of a nutter than they said he was. Then I realized he was joking. A few minutes later I realized he wasn’t joking."

Found this trip report while researching a route I wanted to do. Maybe not as classic as some of the ones already posted, but it's definitely an epic! This guy takes two gumbies up a 5.6 ridge traverse and they end up being out for 20 hours...

Hangover on Whiskey Ridge

Collin H wrote:

Not a written trip report, but the video of the brothers who spent 23 hours on the Regular Route of Fairview Dome might be exactly what you’re looking for. Something about the matter-of-fact narration style paired with the unconventional tactics makes for delightful viewing.

https://youtu.be/ux3djAwF_5I?si=b6P0Oy-JadjGBE6o

Using nut tools in lieu of an ice axe or crampons... I don't know if I'm impressed, bewildered... also, not having any gloves when the temperatures leaving the car are in the 30º F range is wild to me.