Flakes, ghosts, and liars (oh my!)

Dow Williamswrote:

 I had an artery dissect on an OW last fall that could have killed me. My parnters never even knew there was something wrong with me.  Was not addressed until I got home and spent days in the hospital.

Not the partner I'm looking for.

Duly noted and I am not in search of new partners.  Jim Donini was belaying me at the time on that OW and to this day, I am sure he has no idea what happened to me on that pitch.  Of course I did not at the time either.  I walked around with it for ten days before I went to the hospital. The point is, when a 30 yr old starts rattling off all the climbing they could do if they just did not have a finger pully injury, it falls on deaf ears with veteran climbers (essentially raises a red flag)  who have worked our bodies hard our entire lives.  Degenerative disc disease, torn rotator cuffs, etc, etc.  You will never hear an old school climber, who is real, talk about what he/she use to be able to do when discussing a "potential" objective.  Most everyone I climb with, young and old, know it is all about the present.  I am in the Eastern Sierras right now Danny Urioste.  We know exactly what each other can or cannot do.  For the routes we want to do, it is pretty damn important.  We hope to do the Brutus of Wyde Memorial route this week.  Retreat on a route like that would suck.  I hear of so many horror stories of folks getting in over their head because of their egos.  Talking about what they could climb, only if they were healthy.  Bullshit.  Lying about climbing abilities only gets you in trouble, period.  Tell me what you can efficiently climb now, and by efficiently, we are talking about speed which is as important on big wall routes as ability for a crux move or pitch.  Weather is what will kill or hurt you more than just about any other single factor.  In the time of social media, it seems honesty has taken a back seat on these partner meetups.  Folks cannot be making up all of these crazy stories I am constantly being told.  

dang that's crazy

Dow Williamswrote:

Duly noted and I am not in search of new partners.  Jim Donini was belaying me at the time on that OW and to this day, I am sure he has no idea what happened to me on that pitch.  Of course I did not at the time either.  I walked around with it for ten days before I went to the hospital. The point is, when a 30 yr old starts rattling off all the climbing they could do if they just did not have a finger pully injury, it falls on deaf ears with veteran climbers (essentially raises a red flag)  who have worked our bodies hard our entire lives.  Degenerative disc disease, torn rotator cuffs, etc, etc.  You will never hear an old school climber, who is real, talk about what he/she use to be able to do when discussing a "potential" objective.  Most everyone I climb with, young and old, know it is all about the present.  I am in the Eastern Sierras right now Danny Urioste.  We know exactly what each other can or cannot do.  For the routes we want to do, it is pretty damn important.  We hope to do the Brutus of Wyde Memorial route this week.  Retreat on a route like that would suck.  I hear of so many horror stories of folks getting in over their head because of their egos.  Talking about what they could climb, only if they were healthy.  Bullshit.  Lying about climbing abilities only gets you in trouble, period.  Tell me what you can efficiently climb now, and by efficiently, we are talking about speed which is as important on big wall routes as ability for a crux move or pitch.  Weather is what will kill or hurt you more than just about any other single factor.  In the time of social media, it seems honesty has taken a back seat on these partner meetups.  Folks cannot be making up all of these crazy stories I am constantly being told.  

I love how old school "real" climbers simultaneously name drop and spray about what they are doing and what they have climbed, while saying that younger (not real) climbers should stop spraying so much and that they have all have big egos. 

Connor Dobsonwrote:

I love how old school "real" climbers simultaneously name drop and spray about what they are doing and what they have climbed, while saying that younger (not real) climbers should stop spraying so much and that they have all have big egos. 

Please don't stereotype, many of us old fuks feel no need to name drop or spray!

M Mwrote:

Please don't stereotype, many of us old fuks feel no need to name drop or spray!

Oh yeah there's tons of people old and young that are cool. I was merely pointing out the MP "old school climber" trope. 

In the past I’ve had better luck finding random partners on local Facebook groups than on MP. Not sure why that is 

Mike Climbersonwrote:

In the past I’ve had better luck finding random partners on local Facebook groups than on MP. Not sure why that is 

My experience with fb is that people will respond with stoke and then ghost.

with mp, people just won’t respond most of the time, but the ones that have have been some of my best partners.

Connor Dobsonwrote:

I love how old school "real" climbers simultaneously name drop and spray about what they are doing and what they have climbed, while saying that younger (not real) climbers should stop spraying so much and that they have all have big egos. 

Your first encounter with Dow “the ballsack bullhorn” Williams, huh?

Sees gumby post about not finding good partners in the Denver area, feels bad, sends message offering to climb, no response....lol

Mark MacClarywrote:

Sees gumby post about not finding good partners in the Denver area, feels bad, sends message offering to climb, no response....lol

The problem with MP messaging is it goes straight to my email where I get 100s of messages a day. Sorry your message got lost in the fray. if you had gone to my partner posts where i leave my phone number you would have gotten a quick response

that said, I’m not really interested in climbing with you.

My expectations for first-time partners are rather different than when I'm with my solid partners. I don't 'project' with first time partners or even come close to it--I imagine it wouldn't be fun for the other party to catch fall after fall and watch me suss out beta. I have had some fantastic experiences with folks when I am looking to have a fun, lighthearted, easy day moving around on some rock. That way I can see that they're a safe partner, and that they have a good attitude.  These kinds of interactions have lead to some pretty special partnerships across the US. 

If my new partner is struggling to TR 5.8, we're gonna go find a 5.6--no problem.

Although, I consider bushwhacking for 5 hours all but to find a route to be a "good day out climbing"

That's the partner I'm looking for.

This is pretty common unfortunately. I had a thread for a while running about a new area I was developing, asking to see if anyone wanted to climb or learn development or anything. Last time I calculated I had gotten over 60 messages from folks asking to get out with me some time - 5 or 6 had actually made it out. MP is not a great place to find partners, I just try to make friends at the crags or on the walls. Friends-of-friends has worked great historically too, especially while traveling. Makes sense; I’d always take someone that someone I respect vouches for over a rando.

Jared E wrote:

I would say it’s worst in Denver — people in general don’t give a shit about each others time there— but it’s still noticeably present everywhere else

1000000% - absolute worst part of this city. Would highly recommend not getting injured if you’re living here because you’ll get a lot of radio silence from your sport-of-choice friends until you’re healthy and not dragging them behind again. Finding a group of folks who value you for who you are as a person rather than the activities you partake in is worth its weight in gold here.

Austin Donisanwrote:

I think Dow's point is different than mine which is confusing. Mine is really about signals in partner posts, and your response focused more on the underlying point and not the signal.

FAIL signal: "I've got a full set of cams, 12 quickdraws and a 70m, 9.5mm rope."    My god, how many times do I see shit like that?  (Sigh)

Tal Mwrote:

1000000% - absolute worst part of this city. Would highly recommend not getting injured if you’re living here because you’ll get a lot of radio silence from your sport-of-choice friends until you’re healthy and not dragging them behind again. Finding a group of folks who value you for who you are as a person rather than the activities you partake in is worth its weight in gold here.

Don’t forget the people who will just make you their stand in partner (“friend”) while their boyfriend/gf is injured… then as soon as they’re healed you never hear from them again.

I’m not salty or anything   

Jonathan Walker wrote:

Your expectations are not too high. Learn to accept bouldering.

Jared Ewrote:

I’m at the end of my thread here. Between people bailing on plans, vanishing into thin air, and overstating their abilities, I’ve only managed to find 3 reliable people I’m happy to call my climbing partners in the last year. Unfortunately they’re scattered across the globe.

just last weekend I had one person dictate to me that I would be leading the routes in the range they sent me, and then they couldn’t even follow. And the other prospect I had lined up never got back to me with where I should meet him and his group.

What gives? Why can’t these people be honest about their abilities and show up when they say they will? Is it daddy issues?

What are your strategies for filtering these hosers out?