FIRST ANNUAL DIRTBAG ACHIEVEMENT OF THE YEAR AWARD-Submissions Thread

Thought this could be fun, submit your greatest dirtbag moments/stories from anytime before this year. Prize is some kind of booty I picked up.

Feel free to state things as hypotheticals if you’d like to avoid written confessions

Whoever’s received the most votes on January 31st will be crowned.

EDIT: Changed to the first annual, prior years have been grandfathered in for the initial competition.

Once I picked up an avocado off the floor at Miguel’s and put it straight into my can o’ beans dinner. This was not in 2023, but I still feel the buzz from that moment.

I may, hypothetically, have stolen a roll of toilet paper from an REI bathroom.

5 years ago I found the bottom bit of a Lucy light left behind in the bush at a local boat/walk-in crag. Picked up during the usual exit trash run, but found it still worked. Lucy has accompanied me on many climbing and hiking trips since, casting her cheery glow on a revolving cast of weirdos.

Over new year I left her at her home crag, in an esky (cooler) of stashed food and gear, while we bailed out for a few days of bad weather.

Got back in, stash was in no way waterproof. Lucy had drowned and could not be resuscitated. I sadly transported her poor dead body out, thinking about funeral arrangements.

Not wanting to commit her damp body directly to e-waste, I gave her a few hours on a dehumidifier and some time in the sun as a last rite.

And lo, lucy is resurrected! Her body may be old and broken, but her heart is strong. More adventures await us. Arapiles here we come!

I led a route with mismatched brands of cams

Not ‘23, but I found a tube of Blistex lip balm one summer at Snowbird that I’m sure somebody had accidentally dropped off the lift sometime the previous ski season. I rubbed off the top layer and used that stuff for YEARS in my “10 essentials” bag. 

I went climbing and filled my water bottle from the tap instead of using Fiji bottled water. I still haven’t recovered. 

Sold my parking spot on a busy Saturday in Yosemite and got $100 from a desperate tourist family. Got the spot back that evening after climbing

Took a job interview in the lee vining children’s park bathroom because it was the only place nearby that i could have wifi, a white background, and look like i’m inside while climbing the days before/after

"A friend of mine" forgot a sleeping bag for a weekend camping trip. Ended up using: a garbage bag for insulation and the rope tarp along with some clothes stacked on top. Worked quite nice

I bummed a handful of chalk from Dave Bloom's chalkbag

Darren Mabewrote:

I bummed a handful of chalk from Dave Bloom's chalkbag

...and then realized you actually needed three handfuls for the route. #bloombagged

F r i t zwrote:

...and then realized you actually needed three handfuls for the route. #bloombagged

…and it wasn’t even the right brand of chalk 

Taylor Markleywrote:

Took a job interview in the lee vining children’s park bathroom because it was the only place nearby that i could have wifi, a white background, and look like i’m inside while climbing the days before/after

I did a 20 minute phone interview while leading the 6th pitch of the South Face of Washington Column.

Rew Exowrote:

I did a 20 minute phone interview while leading the 6th pitch of the South Face of Washington Column.

You win. 

Found a wet, old, full chalkbag in the back of a rarely-frequented bouldering cave. Took it home, dried it (and its contents) in the oven, good as new.

"A friend of mine" is still belaying with a tube instead of getting a gri-gri. He has recently pondered to replace his 20+ year old device with a booty device that he found in 2023 ... you guessed it: another tube! Anyone knows how to setup a gofundme thingy for this poor fella?

Rew Exowrote:

I did a 20 minute phone interview while leading the 6th pitch of the South Face of Washington Column.

Did you get the job?

For the past two summers while living in Crested Butte, whenever I’ve needed to do dishes I stuff a backpack with as many as I can and bring them into the fitness center showers of the Elevation Hotel, and wash them while I bath.

Will Albinowrote:

For the past two summers while living in Crested Butte, whenever I’ve needed to do dishes I stuff a backpack with as many as I can and bring them into the fitness center showers of the Elevation Hotel, and wash them while I bath.

Child’s play, I showered using the park spigot under which I was doing my dishes 

On more than one occasion.

Callie Cwrote:

Child’s play, I showered using the park spigot under which I was doing my dishes 

On more than one occasion.

You guys wash your dishes and shower?!