Don’t make the same mistake I did

I am not an old man, but I am no longer a young man either. In my youth I drove across the country six times. Sometimes with companions sometimes alone. I felt like Heracles preforming his labors. Although I probably more resembled Dionysus. I fear my road trip days are over. I see myself more as an Atlas these days, the weight of responsibility crushing down upon me like the globe on my shoulders. Yet I have hope. I truly believe the best of my life lies ahead, I have so much to look forward to. However I do have one terrible regret. I never visited Wall Drug. I see the billboards in my dreams calling out to me, why didn’t I heed their invitation. Perhaps it was the shear quantity of them. Like walking in an orchard at springtime, every individual flower possesses such beauty yet there are so many you never seem to take the time to truly enjoy any single one. Perhaps the most painful thing is that it is I who passed by Wall Drug, not the other way around. It’s not the bitter sweet pain of a love lost, the one who got away but you have memories to cherish. No, I left Wall Drug standing with open arms awaiting my embrace, an embrace that may never come. This is not some forlorn metaphor about taking every opportunity that comes your way. I simply, truly, should have stopped at Wall Drug when I had the chance.

Joseph W. Duttonwrote:

I am not an old man, but I am no longer a young man either. In my youth I drove across the country six times. Sometimes with companions sometimes alone. I felt like Heracles preforming his labors. Although I probably more resembled Dionysus. I fear my road trip days are over. I see myself more as an Atlas these days, the weight of responsibility crushing down upon me like the globe on my shoulders. Yet I have hope. I truly believe the best of my life lies ahead, I have so much to look forward to. However I do have one terrible regret. I never visited Wall Drug. I see the billboards in my dreams calling out to me, why didn’t I heed their invitation. Perhaps it was the shear quantity of them. Like walking in an orchard at springtime, every individual flower possesses such beauty yet there are so many you never seem to take the time to truly enjoy any single one. Perhaps the most painful thing is that it is I who passed by Wall Drug, not the other way around. It’s not the bitter sweet pain of a love lost, the one who got away but you have memories to cherish. No, I left Wall Drug standing with open arms awaiting my embrace, an embrace that may never come. This is not some forlorn metaphor about taking every opportunity that comes your way. I simply, truly, should have stopped at Wall Drug when I had the chance.

This is the equivalent of hearing all about The Bastille for a while, and then actually climbing it. “Meh.”

But, did you ever stop at ‘Little America’?

Alan Rubinwrote:

But, did you ever stop at ‘Little America’?

I have been to Little America. It was ok. 

wall drug is all about getting the  bumper sticker.  petty sure that's the only thing i bought there. 

in all my cross country road trips i have always said heck we will check out Niagra falls on the way home. naturally that never happens once the sights are set on home. Lake superior was pretty darn cool campsite on the mellow side of the border though. 

Nick Goldsmithwrote:

 Lake superior was pretty darn cool campsite on the mellow side of the border though. 

Which side is the mellow side?

Same lake. Other side, other season. 

I’ve seen Wall Drug!

Tourist trap but part of great memories of my first big road trip with a friend and my brother, in 1970.

The Mello side is the one without the gun problem and the traffic problems. That whole stretch sucks from Cleveland through Chicago and then heck you are not really out of the weeds until you get past St Paul. Up north there is pretty much zero traffic from Montreal all the way to Alberta. Copious amounts of free camping with no hassels. Only once up there have I been told that I couldn't camp in a spot and the ranger apologized before telling us that the spot we were cooking dinner in was not a campsite. We had already figured that out and had not planned on camping. just cooking. The ranger apologized for interrupting our dinner and then gave us advice on where we could park for the night. 

Joseph, you need to switch your destructive way of thinking. Embrace the accomplishment of never visiting that which lures so many others, only to send them away with nothing more than a stupid bumper sticker. Myself, I have no greater source of pride than the fact that I have never been to a Walmart. I hope is to preserve this great accomplishment for the rest of my days. It won’t be easy, but I am confident that I can do it. 

When I started climbing in Wisconsin in the early/mid ‘60s, it was a rite of passage for Midwestern climbers to make a road trip to Devil’s Tower—via the Badlands and SD Needles. In those pre-interstate days, all roads ( well, actually, the only road) passed through Wall, so, yes, I have made that stop—I was forever changed—though don’t know in what way.

Joseph W. Duttonwrote:

I have been to Little America. It was ok. 

I got 75 cent ice cream there yesterday, Utah bound.

Alan Rubinwrote:

When I started climbing in Wisconsin in the early/mid ‘60s, it was a rite of passage for Midwestern climbers to make a road trip to Devil’s Tower—via the Badlands and SD Needles. In those pre-interstate days, all roads ( well, actually, the only road) passed through Wall, so, yes, I have made that stop—I was forever changed—though don’t know in what way.

Explains a lot. I went to wall drug with my parents in 1967. I also subjected my oldest daughter to it in 1981. My younger 3 kids have never been so lucky

Alan Rubinwrote:

When I started climbing in Wisconsin in the early/mid ‘60s, it was a rite of passage for Midwestern climbers to make a road trip to Devil’s Tower—via the Badlands and SD Needles. In those pre-interstate days, all roads ( well, actually, the only road) passed through Wall, so, yes, I have made that stop—I was forever changed—though don’t know in what way.

I remember Burt telling me a story of driving 212 across from  Eau Claire via the Cities to the Tower.

And yeah, had a burger at the bar across the street from Wall Drug a few times in route to the Needles or the Tower. 

Fear not, young Joseph! I have reassuring news for you.

I’m reluctantly accepting the fact that I am now likely considered an old man. I may actually be close to road tripping on the other side of the aging curve — retired, and perhaps behind the wheel of an obnoxious land yacht clogging the roads into classic climbing areas.

My good news is this: you have ample time to amass an entire list of regrets. A list so long that the Wall Drug regret will be lost, buried deep among the ever growing collection.

While this may sound terrible, it’s oddly liberating. With that long list, every regret becomes a smaller fraction of overall disappointment.

For what it’s worth, I too have missed the opportunity to experience the wonder of Wall Drug.

I really have no idea what’s going on here but feel a Tourette’s-like compulsion to say: HOHMANN!

S Saunderswrote:

Fear not, young Joseph! I have reassuring news for you.

I’m reluctantly accepting the fact that I am now likely considered an old man. I may actually be close to road tripping on the other side of the aging curve — retired, and perhaps behind the wheel of an obnoxious land yacht clogging the roads into classic climbing areas.

If you go the land yacht path you’ll end up at Wall Drug one of these days. With the mileage on those things you won’t have the luxury of skipping any gas stations. 

Wall Drug is not worth the stop. You’ve missed nothing. 

Jackalopes.  I used to roadie for bands and we would usually stop at Wall Drug.  On one tour a guitarist bought a Wall Drug post card with a jackalope on it.  He taped it up in the loft in the van next to where he slept.  About a week later we were driving and he was looking out the window.  He turned to me and in complete seriousness said " you know I have been looking out the window all week long and I have not seen a single jackalope.  Do you think they only come out at night?"  I told him yes that must be the case.  A few years later I saw him at a party and he told me he figured it out.  Jackalopes aren't real.

powderfingerwrote:

...A few years later I saw him at a party and he told me he figured it out.  Jackalopes aren't real.

Incredible, but believable. 

Wall Drug sounds under-hah-whelming. 

It's actually a pretty cool story how it all got started.