New and Experienced climbers over 50 ##24

Lori Milaswrote:

Tony is planning his annual trip back to Chicago and he’ll probably leave next Monday. He wants to drive 2000 miles in two days again and I finally had to say this scares me. Dealing with a surprise illness over the last 10 months has made me start thinking about protecting ourselves in older age. I don’t know how else to explain it. I don’t want to hold either of us back but I realized if something happened to Tony back in Chicago– – for instance, if he took a fall down those basement steps or had a stroke – – I have absolutely no rights and I might never see him again. His daughter still can’t handle the fact that her dad took off and moved to California. Possession is 9/10 of the law. I talked to Tony about all of this and he asked me “is this a proposal?“. Maybe. 

In the meantime, maybe it's time for a written directive.

Good Lord. I didn’t mean for that to be a conversation killer. Tony has a sort of put a pause on his plans. It might be occurring to him that what he could do at 30 as far as king of the road truck driving might be a little tougher at 74. I guess that’s a hard pill to swallow.

I had such a wonderful time out exploring yesterday. 

Lori Milaswrote:

Good Lord. I didn’t mean for that to be a conversation killer. Tony has a sort of put a pause on his plans. It might be occurring to him that what he could do at 30 as far as king of the road truck driving might be a little tougher at 74. I guess that’s a hard pill to swallow.

I had such a wonderful time out exploring yesterday. 

Lori- Acceptance of the fact that “I’m old as dirt” is a hard bone to swallow. I’m slowly accepting that fact now. It makes me very sad to know something is gone forever. I’ll never pull the moves on Clean n Jerk again no matter what I do. I’ll never hike up to The Rincon and climb again ever. El Cap is out.
But it’s really hard to admit that I’m basically “not a climber now”. 

Having a bunch of my best friends end up at the exact same place as me helps in choking down that bone.

It’s time to be grateful for what’s left. I can walk around without to much pain- but no walker is needed! I can still Fly Fish and walk creeks. I can still climb 5.7 face. I still enjoy getting up at dawn, drinking coffee, and watching the sun rise, at one of my many camping spots. But I’m never going to join the Boys and hike up and climb a Mountain again. But I’m looking forward to “climbing” at COR in June.

Later all 

Guy Keeseewrote:

Lori- Acceptance of the fact that “I’m old as dirt” is a hard bone to swallow. I’m slowly accepting that fact now. It makes me very sad to know something is gone forever. I’ll never pull the moves on Clean n Jerk again no matter what I do. I’ll never hike up to The Rincon and climb again ever. El Cap is out.
But it’s really hard to admit that I’m basically “not a climber now”. 

Having a bunch of my best friends end up at the exact same place as me helps in choking down that bone.

It’s time to be grateful for what’s left. I can walk around without to much pain- but no walker is needed! I can still Fly Fish and walk creeks. I can still climb 5.7 face. I still enjoy getting up at dawn, drinking coffee, and watching the sun rise, at one of my many camping spots. But I’m never going to join the Boys and hike up and climb a Mountain again. But I’m looking forward to “climbing” at COR in June.

Later all 

Well I wasn’t going to mention this but… 

I thought I’d just free solo Clean and Jerk on my morning hike the other morning. I would post the whole climb but don’t want to brag.  

—-But SERIOUSLY… we are all grappling with this aging thing and trying to figure out what it means going forward.  There’s a lot of things we cannot do, but there’s still plenty we can.  I’m standing by while Tony grapples with the question of whether he can road-warrior his trip to Chicago. Thank you Wendy, for helping me come up with a solution to cover ourselves in case something should happen. We will put a few things in writing, and maybe have them notarized.

When Tony was having shortness of breath and chest pains couple of weeks ago, I laid awake in bed quite a few nights, wondering what the hell I would do without him. Not just the love and companionship part, but practically speaking, what would I do if I found myself alone in this house in Joshua tree. The fact is we’re all going to leave or be left at some point. I had a brainstorm at 2 AM that maybe I would look into it seniors retirement living kind of place. I called one and got all the information that I could, and it looks like if you wanted to be  in a little apartment or condo with lots of fun people around and Pickleball and swimming and shuffleboard and pretty nice dining. It’s doable. That’s all I needed to know. I just needed a Plan B.

Can anyone else share their Plan B?

EDIT: Guy—I meant to include a thank you for your comments.  I’ve followed along your posts since the start of this thread and always feel what you share. Not that long ago you were having surgery.  You’ve worked hard to get back at least some of what you love. I’m happy for you. 

Guy Keeseewrote:

 I’ll never pull the moves on Clean n Jerk again no matter what I do.

Well in your defense Grandad... the opening moves on Clean and Jerk *are* 14a, so you got that going for you.

Lori Milaswrote:

…… 

Can anyone else share their Plan B?

NOT my “Plan B”, but I do know of a former rather bold climber who became addicted to pickleball ;-)

Plan B: When I’m too decrepit to climb/mountain bike/swim/hike, - watercolor. 

Lori Milaswrote:

Can anyone else share their Plan B?

I'm 79 and over the past decade have modified my activities to address that I'm "slowing down" and have to reduce risk factors.

1.More bike touring and road biking, less mountain biking.

2. More in area skiing, less ski day touring, no more week long ski traverses or ski mountaineering.

3. Less long multi-pitch climbs.

4. More sport climbing, less trad.

5. Much more time in the weight gym to maintain strength.

6.  Much more stretching and balance exercises.

7.  Much more time with Sheree (my partner) skiing and biking.

BUT, no golf yet!

Plan B

Looks more like plan Double D’s

I approve

Plan B?

Jan Mcwrote:

Plan B?

With or without wing suit ?

Because my life now is so wildly not AT ALL what I anticipated, even 5 or 6 years ago?

My assumption is that the future is pretty hard to predict.

So, my plan B is the same as plan A.

Just be as alive as possible....until I'm not.

What will that look like? Damned if I know, but that's a big part of the fun of it.

And, re being a climber?

My opinion is that there are people who enjoy climbing. The verb.

Then there's climbers, the noun.

I'm the latter, probably always have been, but I just didn't know that until I stumbled into it so late in life.

But "climber" is a big chunk of my personality, with or without any actual climbing. YMMV

Best, Helen

Okay, brief somber note re actual DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) directives. If that's important to anyone, it needs to be not just legally nailed down, living will or whatever, but, it also should be where EMS types will see it if that's expected at home. My EMT son says the backside of the front door is a good place. That would have saved his coworkers running the CPR machine, jabbing in a heart needle, zapping with the paddles, all of that, on an already quite dead body. 

And Lori, you and Tony can give each other some legal considerations, with or without marriage. We can do that with anyone we want. 

Just not file joint tax returns, lol!

In Idaho, I'm guessing that the old old common law marriage laws are still on the books. Basically, if you represent yourself as husband and wife, then you are husband and wife. Not even circuit riding preachers available in a lot of the west, early on. I had some friends who had a legal document drawn up (about 35 years ago), and became married as common law, after living together a decade or two.

Tim Schafstallwrote:

With or without wing suit ?

https://youtu.be/T6bZ37nexSY

 

OLH… excellent pick!

Kevin- Welcome, glad you showed your face. How is the shoulder doing? 

Helen, so glad you chipped in your thoughts. I’m not trying to be morose, but just to try to be honest with myself and ask you all how you feel about it. I thought I would always be fine living alone. I thought I was strong enough and outgoing enough that I would just carry on. When I moved to Joshua Tree, I told myself this was an open-ended adventure. I promised to check in with myself annually and keep an exit open if it wasn’t working out. So I’m three-years in here with Tony and still no intention of moving. I’ve also greatly pushed my own envelope with regard to Climbing, while very unwell. But there have been surprises in my life – – four totally unexpected deaths. I think I know now that I am not equipped for long-term loneliness. I would have to consider living among people and having a new built-in community.

When I was able to go to daily mass in Roseville I was usually the youngest person there and got to know the older couples who got themselves up every morning and came in together and held hands through the entire service. Several of these couples were celebrating their 50th and 60th anniversaries so they had really been together most of their lives. It was always crushing to learn that one or the other had died and left the partner alone. I remember several in particular still coming to church alone, but not living much longer.

My mother died at 102 and she fully expect to live alone and take care of herself but those last couple of years threw her curveball, and she wound up being moved to an assisted living facility where she did not want to be. There was a battle between my sister, brother and me over who could make decisions on her behalf, and I finally realized it would hurt my mother more for me to fight legally, so I had to let her go and did not even attend her funeral.

All of these have taught me to think about that next step if it becomes necessary.  

Tony believes he is bulletproof and he has a large family who would take him in and care for him. No questions asked. I could not see myself showing up at any of my kids houses with a suitcase in hand saying “here I am now take care of me.“

I do have deep faith and believe that when the answers are needed, the answers will be there. Who knows maybe Russ would send over a Chippendale’s dancer and I would find new life. But if not, I’m not ruling out Pickleball.

Lori Milaswrote:

I do have deep faith and believe that when the answers are needed, the answers will be there. Who knows maybe Russ would send over a Chippendale’s dancer and I would find new life. But if not, I’m not ruling out Pickleball.

Any time you need a dancer, you let me know. I have connections.

Yo Guy, 

Shoulder is a full tear of the Supraspinatus Tendon. It doesn’t hurt much at this point, unless I try to reach over my head, so climbing’s out, on anything steep anyway.

What has been painful is overcoming the insurance related obstacles between my injury and the sports doctor shoulder specialist I selected for surgery - finally closed the deal on an appointment with my chosen guy in early June.

First doc said I might need a reverse shoulder replacement. Sounds extreme. I’ve researched other advanced and new tendon grafting techniques that sound better. This guy will know what my options are. I’m willing to roll the dice and suffer a longer recovery if I can get back to square one or close to it in a year or so.

I injured it in a fall on a steep slope making a trail to a new climbing area with a 2,000 ft wide crag up to 300ft high. I have more climbs to do - maybe next spring.

¡A ver que pasa guey!

Herb and Eve Laeger, my friend and climbing partners over years, are now into Pickleball. Since they have their games on youtube they can't complain if I share. I don't get the rules, but in this match Herb and Eve are in opposite quarters. Please there but for the grace of God go I. I'm kidding really. It looks like good fun, and Herb does love to compete.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qW69JgcVbF4 

Herb is front right, Eve back left.

Kristian Solemwrote:

Herb and Eve Laeger, my friend and climbing partners over years, are now into Pickleball. Since they have their games on youtube they can't complain if I share. I don't get the rules, but in this match Herb and Eve are in opposite quarters. Please there but for the grace of God go I. I'm kidding really. It looks like good fun, and Herb does love to compete.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qW69JgcVbF4 

Herb is front right, Eve back left.

I’m having a hard time getting my thoughts around this!    Herb’s name is on some of the best routes in the Park. Well, if pickleball is good enough for Herb… Welcome To Senior Life.

I’m getting really good at growing leaves and flowers. I have 5 tomatoes now growing as well, 2 of them look mutant. I decided yesterday to go to Home Depot and buy a tomato plant with tomatoes already on it… to take the pressure off the other guys.  

My 2 sunflowers are doing really well. I might win this year’s contest.

This picture was taken one year ago. I hated to leave this route behind but I just couldn’t get those couple of critical moves over the crux.  (Dog Day Afternoon) The rest of the climb was wonderful.  But you only have a couple of good tries before you’re pumped and/or fingers are toast. So… if I already know ahead of time I’ll have to get hauled over the crux is there any point in going back?  And yet there it sits. Waiting. And… maybe I would do something miraculous (like climb the crux).  AND it’s a Houser/Cole route.

And there’s this thought… Maybe Bob will relate. Bob is such a tremendous coach, and I trust everything he says. But I am wondering whether I might discover a new way up this route. His reach and height are different and for sure we each have different strengths. I watched Jeremy climb this and it almost wasn’t the same route – – he used his long dangling arms and legs to just drape over that crux. I wonder if there is a “Lori way”.