To the gumby who said I should leash my dog at the crag

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in my belay certification, and I've been involved in numerous secret climbs, and I have over 300 confirmed sends. I am trained in trad climbing and I'm the top climber at Touchstone Climbing. You are nothing to me but just another gumby. After I send your project with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, I will chop every single bolt from it, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me at my home crag? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of alpinists across the USA and your beta is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your project. You're fucking done, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can climb crags in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in free soloing, but I know how to access to every crag in the NRG and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the crag, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have stayed off my fucking bomber hold. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn dirtbag wannabe. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, gumby.

Excellent 

Andre Chiquitowrote:

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in my belay certification, and I've been involved in numerous secret climbs, and I have over 300 confirmed sends. I am trained in trad climbing and I'm the top climber on the MP. You are nothing to me but just another gumby. After I send your project with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, I will chop every single bolt from it, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me at my home crag? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of alpinists across the USA and your beta is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your project. You're fucking done, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can climb crags in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in free soloing, but I know how to access to every crag in the NRG and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the crag, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have stayed off my fucking bomber hold. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn dirtbag wannabe. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, gumby.

My friend, you embarrass yourself. 

What do you think guys, enormous douchebag or lame troll?

Andre Chiquitowrote:

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in my belay certification, and I've been involved in numerous secret climbs, and I have over 300 confirmed sends. I am trained in trad climbing and I'm the top climber at Touchstone Climbing. You are nothing to me but just another gumby. After I send your project with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, I will chop every single bolt from it, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me at my home crag? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of alpinists across the USA and your beta is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your project. You're fucking done, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can climb crags in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in free soloing, but I know how to access to every crag in the NRG and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the crag, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have stayed off my fucking bomber hold. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn dirtbag wannabe. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, gumby.

A great satirist isn't quite so "on the nose".

Beware my "Liam Climber Neeson", chum.  The mods will come for you and they will find you!  Satire is the pink tricam of MP - rare, but oh so needed in the right moment.

Jack Sparrowwrote:

What do you think guys, enormous douchebag or lame troll?

Both.

Jack Sparrowwrote:

What do you think guys, enormous douchebag or lame troll?

Classic copypasta.

This is good pasta

Andre Chiquitowrote:

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in my belay certification, and I've been involved in numerous secret climbs, and I have over 300 confirmed sends. I am trained in trad climbing and I'm the top climber at Touchstone Climbing. You are nothing to me but just another gumby. After I send your project with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, I will chop every single bolt from it, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me at my home crag? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of alpinists across the USA and your beta is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your project. You're fucking done, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can climb crags in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in free soloing, but I know how to access to every crag in the NRG and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the crag, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have stayed off my fucking bomber hold. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn dirtbag wannabe. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, gumby.

But, can you please leash your dog, sir?

Jack Sparrowwrote:

What do you think guys, enormous douchebag or lame troll?

Two things can be true at the same time.

Jake Joneswrote:

But, can you please leash your dog, sir?

and please pick your dog poos

Then spray yourself in the face with bear repellent. :)

Anyone who doesn't see this as comedy is part of the problem...or has an AOL account and uses Internet Explorer as their default browser.

basado y rojapill

Andre Chiquitowrote:

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in my belay certification, and I've been involved in numerous secret climbs, and I have over 300 confirmed sends. I am trained in trad climbing and I'm the top climber at Touchstone Climbing. You are nothing to me but just another gumby. After I send your project with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, I will chop every single bolt from it, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me at my home crag? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of alpinists across the USA and your beta is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your project. You're fucking done, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can climb crags in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in free soloing, but I know how to access to every crag in the NRG and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the crag, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have stayed off my fucking bomber hold. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn dirtbag wannabe. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, gumby.

Pffft, these are just lyrics he copied from a Slipknot song

Andre Chiquitowrote:

 You're fucking dead, gumby.

 As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot.

Hmmm pasta

This thread is the text version of someone photoshopping a climbing harness onto the dancing baby gif. 

I will dance on your grave after I pull you off your next runout lead and then yolo free solo it just to prove I’m better than you. Don’t @ me. 

Jack Sparrowwrote:

What do you think guys, enormous douchebag or lame troll?

Yes! 

I enjoyed it.