overheard at the crag: post it

Heard today: "This climbing is amazing, but fuck the Gunks. 5.9 my ass."

I had a moment where a bro was trying to impress a girl, and he points up to the Gunks at the top of the stairmaster and says, "I've climbed every route up there." I said aloud, "No you haven't." And then I realized I had said it aloud and my social anxiety kicked in and I walked away as quickly as could.

My wife to some guy who kept trying the start move on a boulder while a bunchhhh of people were waiting to try as well: "ok you're done NEXT"

Our friend to the same dude who wouldn't stop spraying beta to her about the boulder he couldn't do: "i can't handle all this mansplaining!"

On Generation Gap (11a, Clear Creek Colorado) a very beginner climber was leading at the 7th bolt about 45' up, having aided the climb by pulling on draws.  He was about 20 years old, quite overweight; his belayer was probably 50, very skinny, no teeth, covered in tattoos and smoking and yelling instructions.  Georgia plates.  

The terrifying thing: the leader was removing every quickdraw as he ascended, so he never had more than a single draw attached to the rope at any one time.  He decided to bail at bolt 7, using a bail biner.  With only one draw in, and balancing on two footholds with a decent left gaston, be pulls the only draw leaving nothing in, hangs his bail biner, then clips the rope to the bail biner and lowers off.

When he lowered off, I asked him what he thought of the route.  "It's great" he said, "that was actually my first lead; how did I do?"  I replied, "well, normally you leave your quickdraws in as you climb; you were pulling every draw on the way up, trusting your life to a single draw and bolt repeatedly.  And at one point you were attached to nothing at all."  He said, "well, I trust my belayer."  

The belayer was nodding along...

John RBwrote:

On Generation Gap (11a, Clear Creek Colorado) a very beginner climber was leading at the 7th bolt about 45' up, having aided the climb by pulling on draws.  He was about 20 years old, quite overweight; his belayer was probably 50, very skinny, no teeth, covered in tattoos and smoking and yelling instructions.  Georgia plates.  

The terrifying thing: the leader was removing every quickdraw as he ascended, so he never had more than a single draw attached to the rope at any one time.  He decided to bail at bolt 7, using a bail biner.  With only one draw in, and balancing on two footholds with a decent left gaston, be pulls the only draw leaving nothing in, hangs his bail biner, then clips the rope to the bail biner and lowers off.

When he lowered off, I asked him what he thought of the route.  "It's great" he said, "that was actually my first lead; how did I do?"  I replied, "well, normally you leave your quickdraws in as you climb; you were pulling every draw on the way up, trusting your life to a single draw and bolt repeatedly.  And at one point you were attached to nothing at all."  He said, "well, I trust my belayer."  

The belayer was nodding along...

This is so absurd, where would he even learn that?

Question tho...was he lowering after each clip to remove the previous draw or what? This kind of reminds me of my buddy when he started leading who would clip the draw to the rope before clipping it to the bolt. Told him straight up that it's dumb and to stop doing it. He didn't...until he dropped his last quickdraw while trying to clip the final bolt before an anchor. 

"There's a lot of trash at the base of that overhang, someone needs to come out and clean it up."

Nicky Battswrote:

"There's a lot of trash at the base of that overhang, someone needs to come out and clean it up."

So you helped them clean it up?

T Legowrote:

This is so absurd, where would he even learn that?

Question tho...was he lowering after each clip to remove the previous draw or what? This kind of reminds me of my buddy when he started leading who would clip the draw to the rope before clipping it to the bolt. Told him straight up that it's dumb and to stop doing it. He didn't...until he dropped his last quickdraw while trying to clip the final bolt before an anchor. 

He learned it from his belayer who was coaching him on everything he was doing.  He'd clip a bolt overhead, grab the draw, pull the rope  up and clip.  Then he'd take, lower down, grab the preceding draw, then batman back up.  He occasionally did a free move between bolts, but mostly he was aid climbing.  I asked the belayer why he was having the leader pull each draw, and he said "because I'm injured so I can't go next."  

I think he meant they didn't want to deal with cleaning the pitch if the leader didn't make it to the anchor, so they were cleaning as they climbed.

Anyway, to this day it's in the top 5 scariest things I've seen in my 20 years of climbing...

Oh... addendum:

I was getting ready to do the same route on solo TR.  The young man from the story above asked me how I was going to climb without a partner and I said "I tie the rope to the anchor above, then I climb on top-rope using these microtraxions to catch me if I fall."  He replied, "man, that's ballsy."

"mini whippers"

-new climber describing someone hanging hangdogging a 5.9 crack

I heard a person explain to their climbing date that they could normally climb that .10c, but they had just gotten a new mouse at work today. So their fingers were very tired. 

JonasMRwrote:

I heard a person explain to their climbing date that they could normally climb that .10c, but they had just gotten a new mouse at work today. So their fingers were very tired. 

Its a super difficult work out to break in a new mouse, show some respect man ;)

Parachute Adamswrote:

So you helped them clean it up?

Always have a trash bag on hand to pack out garbage since it's an urban bouldering area. 

My friend was attempting a beached whale top out on a boulder where she couldn’t see below her waist.

“Where are my feet?!” she yelled anxiously to anyone who would listen.

“At the end of your legs,” replied Steve, lounging on a pad, looking into the distance, possibly high as a kite. 

Doctor Drakewrote:

My friend was attempting a beached whale top out on a boulder where she couldn’t see below her waist.

“Where are my feet?!” she yelled anxiously to anyone who would listen.

“At the end of your legs,” replied Steve, lounging on a pad, looking into the distance, possibly high as a kite. 

Wow, I'm stealing that. Amazing.

David Kwrote:

Wow, I'm stealing that. Amazing.

It's the equivalent of "where do I go from here?" "Up!"

"Wow, that run out at the top was scary"...said at Canal Zone in CCC, where there is never more than 5 feet between bolts...

Overhead at the gym... 

two young, shirtless guys are taking a break between problems.
1: “Bro, are you ever so stoked to finish a problem that you nut yourself?”

2: “what?”

1: “yeah, sometimes I’m so excited I just cum in my pants. Sometimes I have to pull my pants down and finish”

2: “what?”

Graham Johnsonwrote:

Overhead at the gym... 

two young, shirtless guys are taking a break between problems.
1: “Bro, are you ever so stoked to finish a problem that you nut yourself?”

2: “what?”

1: “yeah, sometimes I’m so excited I just cum in my pants. Sometimes I have to pull my pants down and finish”

2: “what?”

Alright, thread over, everyone can go home now

Buck Riowrote:

"Wow, that run out at the top was scary"...said at Canal Zone in CCC, where there is never more than 5 feet between bolts...

They were probably climbing made in the shade and didn’t bring the required 40 QDs you need to clip all the bolts. 

curt86irocwrote:

They were probably climbing made in the shade and didn’t bring the required 40 QDs you need to clip all the bolts. 

40 seems like it might be a lowball. On the upside, don't consecutive Z clips kind of cancel each other out?

Buck Riowrote:

"Wow, that run out at the top was scary"...said at Canal Zone in CCC, where there is never more than 5 feet between bolts...

For what its worth, I believe one of the 5.8?s on the far right side does have a ~20 foot runout (on easy easy terrain but still) to the chains