“Epic”

Xan Calonne wrote: So basically for a climb to be epic, you need to fuck up, not really have the skills to deal with it, be miserable, get lucky, and then gloss over your ineptitude by trying to frame your poor decision-making and shitty skills as an adventure and character-building. Totally epic.

Also, if you have the headlamps it's not an epic.

Disagree. Have you read Solitary Refinement? More than just climbing skills involved there. 

A couple textbook examples of epics:

- Touching the Void
- TC’s Kyrgyzstan experience
- The solo FA of Climb Bold or Fly (VI 5.10 A4+, no bolt kit) on the tallest cliff in Colorado, in which JB ran out of food and water on day three, untied and free-soloed back to the rim.

We used to rate our epics.  A Grade-5 epic required tragedy potential.

Four buddies climbed the Yellow Spur and watched the sunset from the summit, without knowing a good descent route.
After having one guy rapping into the abyss over the Redgarden Wall, and another skooting up and down a separate rope using prussic's just to communicate, they found the east slabs descent just in time to hear "Good evening climbers on the Redgarden Wall..." echo through the canyon. They were back in their sleeping bags well before dawn.

Minor epic, but I don't remember where between 1 and 4 the consensus grade settled. 

Xan Calonne wrote: So basically for a climb to be epic, you need to fuck up, not really have the skills to deal with it, be miserable, get lucky, and then gloss over your ineptitude by trying to frame your poor decision-making and shitty skills as an adventure and character-building. Totally epic.

Also, if you have the headlamps it's not an epic.

Yeah, just like all those totally inept, loser guys like Reinhold Messner, Maurice Herzog, Jim Wickwire, Mugs Stump and basically every person that climbs.

If you climb challenging things (multi-pitch) eventually you will have an epic. But that 60 foot sport climb doesn't count. 

Rocrates wrote: Tentative example:

Old Man Route at Seneca.  You’ve forgotten half the rack, forcing you to run it out with serious fall potential, and satisfying conditions 1 and 3.  

To screw your partner and give him the hard leads, you split it into 6 pitches, satisfying condition 5. 

After starting at 5 am, you close in on the summit at 7 pm with a thunderstorm approaching, satisfying conditions 2 and 4.  

You arrive back at the car at 8:30 pm, having successfully completed an “epic trip”. 

Sad thing is- this exact thing happens a few times a year on this route! 

OK, so like if you are climbing in a foreign country, get shot at and kidnapped by armed rebels, led around the wilderness at gunpoint for mulitple days, and eventually have to push one of them off a cliff to escape, would that count?

Asking for a friend.

Andrew Krajnik wrote: OK, so like if you are climbing in a foreign country, get shot at and kidnapped by armed rebels, led around the wilderness at gunpoint for mulitple days, and eventually have to push one of them off a cliff to escape, would that count?

Asking for a friend.

Only epic if you also lose a finger.

Blue Collar Climbing wrote:

Only epic if you also lose a finger.

Got it, thanks for the clarification. My friend did lose a finger, but that was in a completely separate incident, several years later. And that didn't even happen while climbing. I guess his experience wasn't epic. He's gonna be so disappointed.

F r i t z wrote: A couple textbook examples of epics:

- Touching the Void
- TC’s Kyrgyzstan experience
- The solo FA of Climb Bold or Fly (VI 5.10 A4+, no bolt kit) on the tallest cliff in Colorado, in which JB ran out of food and water on day three, untied and free-soloed back to the rim.

Me thinks those go beyond the "normal epic"  In fact, thats more like a Reincarnation Epic.  Those people came out a new person.

I propose an EDS: Epic Decimal System.  All epics have a different degree of epicness per the climber and their tolerances.  

Who even cares?

Gumby King wrote:

Me thinks those go beyond the "normal epic"  In fact, thats more like a Reincarnation Epic.  Those people came out a new person.

I propose an EDS: Epic Decimal System.  All epics have a different degree of epicness per the climber and their tolerances.  

We already have the three types of fun. Type one fun cannot be included in the EDS as it is fun both during and after the climb. This leaves us with two levels of epics. Those not being fun during but fun after, and those not being fun at all. Do we need more levels?

Andrew Krajnik wrote:

Got it, thanks for the clarification. My friend did lose a finger, but that was in a completely separate incident, several years later. And that didn't even happen while climbing. I guess his experience wasn't epic. He's gonna be so disappointed.

Retroactive epic. It counts.

Stefan Jacobsen wrote:

We already have the three types of fun. Type one fun cannot be included in the EDS as it is fun both during and after the climb. This leaves us with two levels of epics. Those not being fun during but fun after, and those not being fun at all. Do we need more levels?

You have a point!  I propose a color grading system on the Three Types of Fun.  Red Fun and Pink Fun.  

Red Fun qualifies when one is moving slowly waiting for opportunities to create a Type X of Fun Epic. E.g., Storm is coming, lets wait to make an epic.

Pink Fun qualifies with the Type X of Fun Epic is deliberate in the planning.  E.g., purposefully climbing in bad weather to make an epic.

jimmy k wrote: Who even cares?

Maybe someday someone, just one person, will care enough to skim and respond to this thread with a sardonic one-line question laden with ecclesiastical ennui.

Until then, we’ll just have to keep shitposting.

Andrew Krajnik wrote: OK, so like if you are climbing in a foreign country, get shot at and kidnapped by armed rebels, led around the wilderness at gunpoint for mulitple days, and eventually have to push one of them off a cliff to escape, would that count?

Asking for a friend.

In the words of the immortal Ugnaught: “I have spoken.” It was three replies ago.

What get me more riled up than the use of epic splitter is when it isnt even a splitter. Just a dihedral. Not only did you misuse epic but splitter as well

Erik Oles wrote: What get me more riled up than the use of epic splitter is when it isnt even a splitter. Just a dihedral. Not only did you misuse epic but splitter as well

Yes!

Or when the gumby is raving about their splitter 5.4 project and you’re like “wtf?” but you play along and then they show you a picture and it turns out it’s only a “crack climb” because the rock is so chossy it’s cracking and falling apart.

Edit: to stay on topic, I think that in muggle terminology, “epic” is often used synonymously with “awesome” and since so many gym rats come from this background, that’s why we hear people describing their first trad lead as epic. Or they’re just totally bastardizing it and I’m too nice.