Best Route Name of All Time Contest

Pastor of Muppets.

It's not on MP, but I could have sworn that I climbed "foreskins of our hard fathers" right next to the original "hardskins of our forefathers" in Cochise.. 

Couple local greats from S. AZ:

FIUTT (Fuck It, Use The Tree) (5.9+)
Lizard Marmalade Direct (5.10+)
Sound of One Hand Thrashing (5.11+)
Oops, I Sharted  (5.11+ Offwidth)

Flight of The Gumby at The New

Broski/Linaweaver

"Separate Reality " & "Grand Illusion " 

Of Quartz it’s a Dike

I mean simply naming a route something awful doesn't really warrant a "best route name ever" award. The name has to be inspiring and aesthetic - yeah OK maybe I'm an idealist, but I still appreciate rad names for rad routes.

Pure Imagination -RRG
Cascading Crystal Kaleidoscope -Gunks
One Summer in Paradise - Swiss
My Heart Grew Wings Under Desert Skies -Bishop

CrimpDaddy-WesP wrote: I mean simply naming a route something awful doesn't really warrant a "best route name ever" award. The name has to be inspiring and aesthetic 

I also appreciate an inspiring, often somewhat poetic names. Even better if the routes have a good story behind them.

My favorites: 'Infinite Patience' and 'Beyond Good and Evil'   

Mudflap Girl - Glenwood Canyon

I'm bored of the poetic so I'll take the weird/gross/childish... I've had the pleasure of naming a number of routes so here are my faves:

No Fun at Camp no Sex at Breakfast
Three Raccoons in a Patagonia Fleece
We Want no Loss Nor Gain of Life
Swing Softly and Carry a Big Splint (Ice, I can't take credit named by a partner)
Regular Standard Wiessner Route Direct Direct
Doug the Subway Fugitive (Any Car Talk fans out there?)
Raising Money for Polar Bear Erections

Not mine but my all time favorites:

Butt Bongo Fiesta - Rumney, NH
Can I Do it Till I Need Glasses? - NRG
Lactic Acid Bath - NRG
Fingers in a Lightsocket - Moab (Made much more epic when that guy lost his fingers in it...)

The Pigskin Bus Pulls Into Tuna Town- 6a (5.10b) Cheyne Weares, Portland, UK

It took me a while to get the name but when I did- jeez!

Motor Booty Pimp Affair - 10d @ RRG

Spear Me the Details on the Spearhead in RMNP.

CrimpDaddy-WesP wrote: I mean simply naming a route something awful doesn't really warrant a "best route name ever" award. The name has to be inspiring and aesthetic - yeah OK maybe I'm an idealist, but I still appreciate rad names for rad routes.

Pure Imagination -RRG
Cascading Crystal Kaleidoscope -Gunks
One Summer in Paradise - Swiss
My Heart Grew Wings Under Desert Skies -Bishop

Under those criteria you missed "Snake Dike"

I think snake dike is awful, inspiring and aesthetic all at once.

I've always liked Ferrous Wheel on the Iron Man wall. 

Tickle My Blossom 11a R  Staunton State Park.  Named after a tree branch that hit us in the yam bag on the first decent.  The branch has since been removed.

“Boogie til you puke” was unofficially renamed “Boogie til you poop” after someone shit their pants on it

Harder than your husband.