Show Us Your Best Rock Hard Phallus Photos!

As I've spent more time climbing granite spires and especially desert towers, I've amassed a large collection of photographs that others have falsely identified as penises. What are your best photos that sank peoples minds into the gutter?

Ideally, identify your tower, as I think it would be fun to have a towers penis tick list amassed from this discussion...

The following are just the best of my photos, but I could add plenty more towers to the list, depending on the 'likeness' criteria used to constrain selection.

The Phallus

The Lovers (in profile)

The Lovers (from the side - not knowing the name until recently, I nicknamed this one "Little Wanker")

Argon Tower

Dark Angel

Dark Angel 'Rorschach test'Dark Angel image that I made for marking desert towers in Google Earth... then I realized that I had inadvertently populated most of SE Utah with little orange dicks!

Future thread idea: Show Us Your Best Stone Cold Labia Pics!  Who votes for me to start one of these later? Granted such charges of my photos was mostly from women falsely identifying some of my chimney climbs as such, especially bombays in the Voo...

(from an unnamed tower by Squaw Pinnacle, looking towards The Windows, in Arches NP)

You're 36? I wouldn't have guessed that.

FrankPS wrote: You're 36? I wouldn't have guessed that.

Forever young...

Consistently cringe-worthy - Mark P Thomas everyone.

 spotted in the needles of rushmore

in JTree

Not Burchey LOL wrote: Consistently cringe-worthy - Mark P Thomas everyone.

Shoots Mr. Lurker from the shadows.

Frankly, I've developed enough enemies online merely by posting helpful and productive material (see what I mostly contribute to here!) that as long as I potentially offend just the delicacies of the flyover region's conservative populace, the PellucidWombat really doesn't care.

What consistency exactly are you referring to? The only one I can think of is the moral judgement & harassment that I have received from your types since 2010 - YKWITA.

Besides, enough of you 'flyovers' have shown to be far more sensitive to such humor than real life issues of death and injury. So harass away from your safe space!

Here are a few I've seen in Sedona:

Spire X

Lil' Stumpin'

Eye of Buddha

Spinner Spire

Of course, there's Blowjob Rock...
(visible from town)

Someone can post a photo of Secret Spire (or look it up) as I do not have a good one... but that's a good one alright.

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Such features can be found in the Mojave Desert as well:

Crooked Dick Spire

Crooked Dick Spire

Hercules' Finger

Hercules' Finger

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Not to mention this little (er, average) guy we found in Red Rocks NV

note interaction with pink slab behind

Mark P Thomas wrote:

Shoots Mr. Lurker from the shadows.

Frankly, I've developed enough enemies online merely by posting helpful and productive material (see what I mostly contribute to here!) that as long as I potentially offend just the delicacies of the flyover region's conservative populace, the PellucidWombat really doesn't care.

What consistency exactly are you referring to? The only one I can think of is the moral judgement & harassment that I have received from your types since 2010 - YKWITA.

Besides, enough of you 'flyovers' have shown to be far more sensitive to such humor than real life issues of death and injury. So harass away from your safe space!

Huh???

If your in Arches and have a few hours to kill. 

Lost Arrow Spire

True Story: I was driving to Vedauwoo with my girlfriend and another female climber.   We're passing this prominant rock near the road at Virginia Dale when they say, "That looks SO much like a penis."   "It really does!"  

I say, "What?  No, it doesn't."

They just look at me (you know, THAT look) until I realize...  Oh, I never see them from that direction.

I'll try to get a photo next time I go by it.

In the trenchant words of the redoubtable Marc801, "Why do you feel compelled to post this?"

Don't forget the pebbles! Electric Eye in Tramway CA.
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Slick Rock Dome, Nap Wall (Nap - Not a Penis).

Not technically rock, but I saw it on a climbing outing 

Sam Skovgaard wrote: Not technically rock, but I saw it on a climbing outing 

Oh!   I didn't realize we were doing cactus on climbing trips.  Here's my favorite.  Too long for a single photo.

Here's one from Pinnacles:

And a new route/tower in Lee Vining Canyon:

http://www.supertopo.com/tr/The-Cocktower/t12920n.html

I always got a kick outta this one. They embellished a little, the rock doesn't look quite like that.