Non-climbing spouse?

8 year old thread...

EWilliams wrote: 8 year old thread...

Some things never get old, do they?

Though I think its a loosing battle for some because Happy Wife means Happy Life. My wife is awesome so that def helps. 

With some struggle, we look at it this way (or I nicely "explain" it)....

5 days a week, you both work (usually and taking care of the kids is def work).

You both get 1 day out of the 2 left. You do what you want and she can do what she wants.

Keep it simple.

As for gym time during the week, you gots to buy her things. 

• Lose is a verb that means “to fail to win, to misplace, or to free oneself from something or someone.”
• Loose is an adjective that means “not tight.”
• Only one O distinguishes loose from lose.

Rob Rogowicz wrote: You both get 1 day out of the 2 left. You do what you want and she can do what she wants. Keep it simple.

Tell us how you handle weekend-long trips to the crags please :) Nothing simple about THAT!

As for your "As for gym time during the week, you gots to buy her things", well, that's poor bribery, bro. Besides, not all spouses are women. Try buying something for my husband - you'll go bankrupt with all those iPhone, iMac, iWatch, iWhatever :)

Leliko, touché! haha weekend trips def involve begging and other sorts of "pretty please!" antics.

But, I would have to say being a woman, you def have the upper hand on the gift department, there's one gift that my wife can give me (for free) that would keep me pretty quiet! :)

So Orphaned, how did it all work out for your friend?

Ryan M Moore wrote: So Orphaned, how did it all work out for your friend?

Looks like last time Orphaned was on MP was in 2015 when he was a dirtbag and lived in a cave in JT so I wouldn't expect him to answer your question...

Leliko Mana wrote:

Looks like last time Orphaned was on MP was in 2015 when he was a dirtbag and lived in a cave in JT so I wouldn't expect him to answer your question...

I thought someone really was orphaned. 

The title of this thread reminded me of a '70s commercial that I can't find now. It might have been one of the "Calgon, take me away!" ones. It just shows a bunch of problems that the wife is dealing with in first person view. One of them is the husband telling her she can't attend a swanky work event explaining "They said no spouses!" while looking like he isn't disappointed. Ha ha ha.

Oh yeah, so what were we talking about?

I had been climbing five years when I met the guy I am currently dating. He tried to loved climbing but it wasn’t really his thing. He gets that I’m a recreational climber until the day I die and if I don’t climb I get crazy. So due to a strong sense of self preservation he deals. 

Any new stories of the same old same old adage of non-climbing spouse situation? Would love to hear how people cope with it - or not.

Welcome back, Brena. 

Alkaline Climper wrote:

Lol beat me to it.

I’m married to a non-climber, and to be honest, our main issue is she always wants me to carry most of the weight.  We go to Target, and I end up  carrying all the bags to the car, and then from the car to the house.  I feel like we should split it evenly, but she’s not having it.

I have this same problem. Over the last couple years we’ve done some backpacking trips and I keep trying to talk her into buying a new bigger pack. Her reply: “no, I’m ok with my (35L) pack.” So I continue hauling the universe to get her outside. 

If you're with the right partner, he/she will want you to do what you're passionate about.  

Haven’t seen mentioned, the “purgatory” of having a spouse/ other who is kinda a climber and wants to participate, yet never seems to up their game.  Hard to say what’s worse.

Alkaline Climper wrote:

Lol beat me to it.

I’m married to a non-climber, and to be honest, our main issue is she always wants me to carry most of the weight.  We go to Target, and I end up  carrying all the bags to the car, and then from the car to the house.  I feel like we should split it evenly, but she’s not having it.

Silly people, this is what kids are for!

That said, I'm the one who always did the "honey do" list all these years in our house. My hubby simply wasn't any good at it, and I was born blue collar/farm labour, lol! My son inherited/learned the best of both of us, yay!

I said it way, way, upstream, but no, you do not give up being yourself for other people. Nor should you expect them to do so, or, even worse, expect them to somehow "complete" you. That whole two half's of a whole thing a lot buy into is crap.

Both people bring their own selves to the partnership, be it climbing or marriage. Strengths, weaknesses, weirdity and all. You work it out.

Or not.

Sometimes, "good enough" is....good enough. Yeah, a great partner is wonderful, but it's expecting too much of mere mortals to have that all the time.

Best, Helen