Decking

I recently hit the ground from between clip 4 and 5.  I managed to walk off without injury (unless you count rope burn) and feel pretty lucky to have been indoors.  My belayer started to catch the fall when I was about a foot from the ground.

Those that have decked, how did you recover your mental strength?  I'm finding it difficult to lead now.

You have to fall again. Start small and work to bigger falls. Its the best way I have found

I'd start with getting another belayer.

Get a new belay partner and fall again. 

Don't let that person belay you again. One strike policy. 

Yep.  I didn’t deck but I came very close and felt the same way.  Don’t be afraid to TR or boulder for a while; sometimes, the worst thing you can do is to pretend you’re fine and jump back in it.  Be honest with yourself.  Was this a regular, trusted partner?  You might not feel comfortable climbing with them again, particularly since it seems like they may have been at fault.

Ive heard CBD oil works well.

Did u fall while clipping?  That would explain the long fall. Normally I feel pretty safe once I make the 3rd clip

I decked from about 40' at the gym. My partner was using a Grigri, he had his hand on the climbers side of the rope and death gripped with that hand when I fell. His grip was enough to not allow the cam to fully rotate. I hit the deck hard enough the entire gym went silent. I managed to walk away with no injury. My partner on the other hand, had rope burns on both hands and couldn't for a while. The Grigri is a great device, but I think there are some issues that are not commonly known. I jumped back on rope about 30min after that fall.

Oh, you got a soft catch, nice!

Super Fluke wrote:  The Grigri is a great device, but I think there are some issues that are not commonly known.

The issue you describe (a) is most certainly commonly known by anyone who bothers to read the instruction pamphlet, and (b) has nothing to do with the grigri, and everything to do with the belayer.  The attitude that the belay device somehow has an issue because the belayer grabbed the climber's side of the rope instead of, you know, actually belaying is more than a bit scary.

I was wondering how long this would take to turn into a GriGri vs. ATC thread.

I fell 40-50 feet outside with my waist at the bolt due to an initiative belayer but was caught about 10-15 feet above the ground.  She was using an ATC and had burns on her non dominant hand. I was fine for the rest of the weekend but ever since I’ve had severe belayer trust issues. Takes an unreasonable amount of time with someone to trust them.  It definitely holds me back. I feel the best when I take many falls with my favorite partners regularly. Interested to hear what other people have done to help this. 

First and foremost you have to trust your belayer. Then you gotta harden up and get after it again. 

I'll echo people above and advise not putting pressure on yourself to lead like the hardest of persons anywhere all the time. It took me about two-ish months to get my full lead head back after taking a 30 ft backslapper, even though I nominally jumped right back on the horse.

Its normal to feel scared, and to not trust randos with you life (especially to not trust randos with your life). Take your time, and enjoy every time you go outside.

That said, taking falls (obviously with a good belay) is the ticket to speed up the head game recovery.

I think there are two different issues here.  One is the getting injured while leading issue and the other is the belayer error issue.  Been there, done that.

For the decking/injured issue, I've had two very bad instances where the belayer was not at fault (one was a hold breaking, another was a runout/must not fall but did fall issue).  And a different time, a 50 footer with injuries with a concussion.  You just have to dial it back a little and build back up to where you feel better again.

For the belayer issue: be very specific in your communication for every route about what you want.  I look up and say something like "OK, please stand here, to the left of the fall line, but right against the edge of the wall, and give me no slack at all until bolt three, and then you can move back where you can see better for the rest of the route".  And then on the route I may say. "this is a ledge fall, and this stupidly placed bolt does nothing to help me".

(These are quotes from a route I did yesterday, so they are fresh in my mind.)

The point is, if you communicate what is happening and what you expect, your belayer is more likely to give you a proper belay.  It may seem un-cool, but f%&k that, do it anyway.

As a belayer, I totally appreciate that kind of feedback.

I was being lowered on a top managed system with a gri-gri 1 that was not redirected - because I failed to relay that to the newish climber I was with. Suddenly, there was no tension on my harness and I fell 50+ feet; the gri-gri grabbed again right before I decked. I was luckily wearing a helmet as I pretty much tumbled my way down. I have trouble getting lowered to this day - the accident was in 2011. I will usually opt to rappel, and luckily the majority of what I climb is a walk off.

It is interesting how the fear of an experience will embed itself in your psyche; truly, I believe it is PTSD as the symptoms are similar. "Exposure therapy" and having a trustworthy climbing partner has helped. Also, as someone has said before, get back on with much lower grades, get on some easy PG-13/R climbs, and then take some good falls on steeper climbs to help you get your head back on.

First figure out why you decked. Without knowing why there is little anyone can really say. Could be your screw up, could be your belayers screw, or you both could have screwed up (most likely).

That said, if you were indoors and fell between clips four and five that means you were what 20 feet off the deck? I would hope you did not have much of an injury.

Good post and good responses. This may not apply to the OP’s situation, but I often see climbers on lead reach very high to clip, adding distance to any fall that happens before the clip is made. I also see belayers (belaying a lead climb) who remain static when stepping forward and back is a quick and easy way to add or reduce rope to the system without feeding through the GriGri. My point is that both climbers have a role in rope management. So the recommendations above about communication are right on.

Glad the OP got off lightly! 

M Sprague and Casey Willman, I don't let that belayer belay me anymore.  
Wisam I was not clipping when I fell.

Thanks for all the advice, seems taking it easy and building back seems the way to go (with another partner), and just let time do its thing.