Speed climbing is stupid and dangerous.

Jake Jones wrote:

Uh, maybe don't do it then?  Problem solved.  You're welcome.

Oh, there's no problem, I was making a statement :)

Rafe wrote:

Good, go for it. You'll get taken just about as seriously there. 

Does it? How did you come to that conclusion, what is your metric? How many injuries or deaths are associated annually speed climbing tactics? How many injuries or deaths are associated annually with "Downhill" style riding as opposed to "cross country"?  You don't understand what you are talking about.

I think you just have a hate boner for speed climbers, and maybe have some feelings of inadequacy towards climbing. There is virtually nothing that points to speed climbing as being a significant factor in annual deaths or injuries in climbing or mountaineering. There are better "Save the dirtbags" causes than being opposed to speed climbing if you actually care about peoples lives.

Tell me Rafe, how can we "save the dirtbags"?

Brad G wrote:

I've been really into speed climbing in the last couple of years. It provides a fresh challenge for when I temporarily burnt out on chasing higher grades and no one has their ruler out when you're having friendly competition with close friends. Also, climbing quicker means more climbing! I won't argue with it being dangerous but so is commenting on a mp forum in the early morning when I'm taking a rest day. 

Brad, real question for ya, how often are you "solid" while speed climbing? Like, what's the percentage? 

I think some folks are equating "stupid" with "not-cool" here and hence the offense. Yes, it's "stupid" to comment in the early morning but I would say it's stupid to comment at anytime of the day.

climbing friend,

I am quite certain you have measured the length of your wang on at least one occasion yes?

Aleks Zebastian wrote:

climbing friend,

I am quite certain you have measured the length of your wang on at least one occasion yes?

*waiting for a measurement right now*

Shitposting is stupid and dangerous

There, I said it. I think shitposting is stupid and dangerous. Stupid because it reduces climbing to a dick measuring contest and dangerous because extreme amounts of time are wasted to measure the dick. I can't say I haven't shitposted but I can say I was being stupid and dangerously slothful when I was "shitposting" about climbing.

This is the beginning of the "post slow, post smart" campaign to save dirt the bags' time. Are you with me?

Aleks Zebastian wrote:

climbing friend,

I am quite certain you have measured the length of your wang on at least one occasion yes?

In America we measure every morning and from the scrot! None of that cheater top Euro crap. 

Tradiban wrote:

Tell me Rafe, how can we "save the dirtbags"?

Save the dirtbags was your quote by the way....  Rappel safety and being observant of objective hazards would probably be more valuable safety focus points than a general bemoaning of speed climbing tactics. That is if you actually cared. It looks more like you just want to rant about something that has your jimmies rustled though.

Rafe wrote:

Save the dirtbags was your quote by the way....  Rappel safety and being observant of objective hazards would probably be more valuable safety focus points than a general bemoaning of speed climbing tactics. That is if you actually cared. It looks more like you just want to rant about something that has your jimmies rustled though.

 I believe things have come to head, so now this:

"Tradria Law":

-This is Amerika, a land where you may do as you please and say what you please. Wanna BASE and throw your banana peels at the same time?!!? Do it! Wanna "speed" climb and poop on a ledge? Do It! But there's no crying when some nobody doesn't like it. Mmmmmmmk?

-Every man, woman, and child has the right to free-solo. 

-The Dirty Bags are due free showers and climbing at the climbing gym of their choice. Any fence like fixture is fair game to dry their clothes.

-Health insurance is free, except if you are a GriGri user. GriGri users are in the high risk pool.

-It is required that each citizen read all rock climbing illuminati propaganda on the Mountain Project forums.

-Every man, woman, and child has the right to bare fabulous bulging forearms and skinny legs.

The streets will flow with the blood of the non-believers!

Tradiban wrote:

In America we measure every morning and from the scrot! None of that cheater top Euro crap. 

climbing friend,

I see it is you who are the cheater by adding extra "length" with your complex calculations from the testicular region. It is quite important to utilize fair and good technique no funny stuff are you thinking of the funny stuff? why do you measure it every morning it changes length by each day passing as you grow older and sadder?

Is "tradria" emerging infectiuous disease of sexual type at your disgusting american climbing campgrounds?

Aleks Zebastian wrote:

climbing friend,

I see it is you who are the cheater by adding extra "length" with your complex calculations from the testicular region. It is quite important to utilize fair and good technique no funny stuff are you thinking of the funny stuff? why do you measure it every morning it changes length by each day passing as you grow older and sadder?

Is "tradria" emerging infectiuous disease of sexual type at your disgusting american climbing campgrounds?

I would like to think of a clever response but A. I'm laughing too hard and B. After the wang and scrot talk I don't think I can scrape deeper in the barrel.

I hope everyone feels that they "won", I know I do.

I will have to think up a new "shit post" soon...

Tradiban wrote:

I will have to think up a new "shit post" soon...

Its been flowing quite well recently from your computer, I doubt you will have any problems so dont worry.

Guide to shitposting:

Write in a tone for people who already agree instead of a tone meant to start discussion.

Post where there's plenty of the latter, so we can talk about rustled jimmies instead of the actual topic.

Tradiban wrote:

This is the beginning of the "Climb slow, Climb safe" campaign to save dirt the bags. Are you with me?

No.

Jplotz wrote:

I hate the term Speed Climbing.  It conjures up images of people frantically sprinting up up the rock.  Efficiency Climbing seems more appropriate.

When the pros like Brad G., Hans, Alex et. al., do insane times on big wall routes, they do so with efficiency, rarely stopping, quick gear changeovers.  Videos of their climbs show this. Quick, but never in a hurry. At least that's the way I see it.

Somehow if someone is doing The Nose in sub-2:30, sure they're efficient.....at sprinting! Simul-climbing and huge run-outs on 5.10 terrain are part of it. So is sprinting where you can. 

I would agree.  It's been trendy, especially on long, easy climbs that even new climbers assume is safe.  If you're going to do it, do it responsibly, know what you're getting into and understand how to handle worst case scenarios.

Marc801 C wrote:

Somehow if someone is doing The Nose in sub-2:30, sure they're efficient.....at sprinting! Simul-climbing and huge run-outs on 5.10 terrain are part of it. So is sprinting where you can. 

Absolutely!

And I think you meant The Nose in 2:19

Looking forward to the team that does a sub 2 hour Nose.

I think the biggest affront to speed climbing is that it reduces climbing down to simply a number, something the Yahoos can understand. Once the Yahoos understand something they like to exploit it for selfish gain. Climbing traditionally runs contrary to Yahoo's values, so it all feels like the wrong path. Of course there's no stopping the Yahoos, they are the majority and this is America, where majority rules but I don't want to single out America, the majority rules in some way almost everywhere. It's just the nature of humans to reduce something to it's most simple form.

Thank goodness this isn't about passive aggressive speed climbing, then we could really get the crazy bitches in on this too.

All your flashes belong to the one with the shit stupid avatard

Tradiban wrote:

I think the biggest affront to speed climbing is that it reduces climbing down to simply a number, something the Yahoos can understand. Once the Yahoos understand something they like to exploit it for selfish gain. Climbing traditionally runs contrary to Yahoo's values, so it all feels like the wrong path. Of course there's no stopping the Yahoos, they are the majority and this is America, where majority rules but I don't want to single out America, the majority rules in some way almost everywhere. It's just the nature of humans to reduce something to it's most simple form.

It's all rock climbing and I find it all fun for the most part. Although I guess the YDS has letters. Does that make "traditional" climbing less "yahoo"? Speed climbing is cool because it adds teamwork to the challenge and like I said before it's a good break from projecting hard grades. Also, usually after a quick climb you have plenty of time left in the day to do more climbing. It's all climbing, it all has numbers and it's all fun.