Men only: How do you keep yourself scruffy and manly looking in the woods?

Christian "crisco" Burrell wrote:How in the world does being outside make you MORE feminine?

MOTHER earth
MOTHER Nature

Duh!

You get soaked in estrogen even looking at flowers.

I do two things:

Avoid sleeping in a sleeping bag - I hate the "magic bag cycle"...go in dirty, wake up clean. It's just bad magic.

Don't wipe. Trust me on this...you'll remian smelling manly until you're off the mountain and take a shower like a sissy.

First of all its a lame excuse to say that your girl does not like your beard so u don't grow it. The reality is that u have to be able to grow a pair before u can grow a beard.

I'm waiting for Elena to intertwine this discussion with the one about women keeping decent in the outdoors. The mix could be volatile material.

Scruffy is easy. Manly however? If you're not from New England you be fucked on that one.

Fortunately I was born before he took this sign down.

Men hang out signs indicative of their respective trades: shoe makers hang out a gigantic shoe; a jewler a monster watch; and the dentist hangs out a gold tooth; but in the Franconia Mountains of New Hampshire god almighty has hung out a sign to say in New England he makes men".
Daniel Webster 1831?

Alas there still may be hope for the rest of you, but since I was born scruffy and manly I can't offer you advice on how to become so.

Joe.

Stich wrote: MOTHER earth MOTHER Nature Duh! You get soaked in estrogen even looking at flowers.

Don't forget: lady bugs, sunsets, cute little bunny rabbits and pretty clouds.

I heard that all of those run rampant in nature. I wouldn't know, I douse my eyes with gasoline to make sure that I don't get on a cycle.

averagejoe wrote:Alas there still may be hope for the rest of you, but since I was born scruffy and manly I can't offer you advice on how to become so. Joe.

Finally, a man that cuts through all of this claptrap! Here here, come tell us all.

Stich wrote: Finally, a man that cuts through all of this claptrap! Here here, come tell us all.

I had a climbing partner like this once. He used barbed wire for a harness and put glass shards in his chalk bag. Also, he solo'd everything... Even the routes he was projecting! I couldn't keep up,

wear a deer-meat suit

Get out of Utah and move to Wyoming high country, son.

Whenever someone whines, spit on a scorpion and say in your best Clint Eastwood voice: "rub some dirt on it".

When it's right, agree with Elenor, because real man don't have to suck on the status quo like so many of these MFs.

Listen to as much Tom Waits as you can.

Be kind to everyone you meet, regardless of what you think about their opinion.

Take Dave O's advice and get some "Glutenaise". (LMAO)

Follow the example of my mentor, Dr. Bruce, and swill some essential oil of poison ivy every spring.

PS Dave-O, where can I get some of this Glutenaise? That's some funny shit

I know how the OP feels - Don't let this happen to you.

Jake Jones wrote: I was about to get upset until I realized that there is perhaps no one better to comment on being a man than this person ^^.

Dats a Deude talkin there!

Eric Krantz wrote:Get out of Utah and move to Wyoming high country, son. Whenever someone whines, spit on a scorpion and say in your best Clint Eastwood voice: "rub some dirt on it". When it's right, agree with Elenor, because real man don't have to suck on the status quo like so many of these MFs. Listen to as much Tom Waits as you can. Be kind to everyone you meet, regardless of what you think about their opinion. Take Dave O's advice and get some "Glutenaise". (LMAO) Follow the example of my mentor, Dr. Bruce, and swill some essential oil of poison ivy every spring. PS Dave-O, where can I get some of this Glutenaise? That's some funny shit

Agree agreed! What happened to all men anymore??? Seriously! All the guys are pussyfied anymore, they are rude and don't know how to treat ladies. All politically correct and all but when the push comes to shove it's nothing to show for. Being a man does not mean to be bashing female opinions on some internet site but to love your life not worrying what people say.

I drive an ice cream truck covered in human skulls. Manly.

Stich wrote: Oh, how I love this 1990s hommage to the French not participating in Gulf War I. Ha ha ha! Brilliant! I love it so much that I named a small climb I bolted at Reimer's "Freedom Fries." Oh, shit. What where we talking about?

Warning--buzzkilll post coming up--

the Freedom Fries stuff wasn't from 1990s or Gulf War I, which the French did participate in. It was the 2000s and Gulf War II . . .

pfwein wrote: Warning--buzzkilll post coming up-- the Freedom Fries stuff wasn't from 1990s or Gulf War I, which the French did participate in. It was the 2000s and Gulf War II . . .

Nice catch;)!!

you might be a man if..

you make your own rope..out of your own hair
a beer can is a multi-tool
if you consider belly button lint and underarm hair tinder (true story)
when giving a bear hug, is actually with a bear
a mountain lion curls up at your feet for warmth
if you choose the Prana mojo short instead of an animal hide loin cloth- because you don't want to hurt any of your friends
after a good downpour you complain how "new" everything looks

i could go on..

OK, I read some of this manly guy's poetry last night. Wait, wait, don't go away just yet. The guy is Charles Bukowski. He had something of an analogy about love that I wanted to share...I mean tell you.

"Love is all right for those who can handle the psychic overload. It's like trying to carry a full garbage can on your back over a rushing river of piss.”

Is that true? I thought it was, uh, a little nicer than that. I figure this is probably important.

Great thread! I needed a laugh!!

Jake Jones wrote:I think the word analogy should mean something different than it does.

Wishful thinking semanticsman.