Top Ten Trademarks of Sketchball Climbers

all climbers are sketchballs

He tells you that bringing a big cam for a certain route completely goes against that route's noteriety as a "head route." After you send that route as your warmup, you notice him backing off that route and handing over the lead, too scared to lead with that big cam he derided you for.

Solos the flatirons and asks beginners to stop so they can climb by
As if they could not have found holds to go around

I am not feeling so special if Hank has kissed so many others

I have never used a Gri Gri but I was dropped by some one using one.

7) Catching and eating butterflies at camp???

Tapes up for slab climbs. (unless climbing at the Voo as all climbs have a fat crack thrown in somewhere on the climb)

Hank,
#3 should be you have more sex gear than climbing gear!
Just make sure you bring the right gear bag to the crag

"Fall leading slabs" Been on some I was to scared to fall

Gigi Miller I thought what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas
and where is the best buffet in case I am driving by next week?

They climb at slick rock and think girls can't climb

dcohn wrote:10. Stop in the middle of a pitch to answer their cellphone.

Definetly seen this one. Even seen a few folks answer their phone while belaying!

#1-Asks to borrow some cams at Indian Creek, and offers to loan you quick draws in return.

#2-Then, after reluctantly loaning them gear, ask "It's cool to take huge whippers on these right?"

#3-Put crampons on before harness.

#4-Says "dude" way too much.

#5-Screams "ICE" way too much.

#6-Adds tape to climbing gloves for 2 hours around campfire while drunk, and then whine when they can't get their hand in a crack.

#7-Climbs routes at the crag that nobody else thinks are routes, that usually culminate with a sketchy bush belay.

#8-Continually asks, "how am I doing NOW?"

#9-Always asking "hey what climb are you guys on??"

#10-"Dude, that was burly dude!!"

Sims wrote: Hank, #3 should be you have more sex gear than climbing gear! Just make sure you bring the right gear bag to the crag

I have multiple gun cases full of "said" gear, but I leave it at home. For our wedding, we got like 7 $50.00 gift cards to Fascinations. Like I need more porn and toys!!????

As for #7, NOBODY kisses my ass! I have to force my love on people, that or just flash em'.

Franky wrote:all climbers are sketchballs

thats the best one yet.

Justin Cantrall wrote: Wasn't there a television commercial a few years ago that showed a cute climber chick talking a cell phone in the middle of a climb, a couple of pitches off the deck? It caught my eye then, but I don't remember now what the commercial was advertising. TV sucks.

That was Boulders Jane Sears and Eldo's own Brad Bond doing a commercial for Chase Bank. She was getting a call referring to her account mid pitch.

Hank Caylor wrote: I have multiple gun cases full of "said" gear, but I leave it at home. For our wedding, we got like 7 $50.00 gift cards to Fascinations. Like I need more porn and toys!!???? As for #7, NOBODY kisses my ass! I have to force my love on people, that or just flash em'.

Hey, Hank, we have a few Fascinations stores down here in metro Phoenix...too funny. Although we hide our patronage of that place from our friends very well, as we never got any gift cards from there. Your friends must know you too well.;^)

Can I get Brad's autograph, and Jane's Sears card?

1. The guy who climbs shirtless (whish is fine and encouraged) but spends more time looking at his own muscles than watching you whilst he belays.
2. The sprayer who is all too quick to give advice on how YOU should be climbing but climbs 5.7 as if he's wearing roller skates.
3. The one who gives beta in the gym. Like I can't tell how to move from one piece of pink tape to the next.
4. Gassy partners who insist on hiking in front of you on the approach. You guys stink!!!
5. People who send my projects barefoot and blindfolded.
6. Those who are offended by snot rockets.
7. The ones who assume an invite to climb means they're gonna get laid.
8. Boulderers who forget to wear beanies.
9. The punk who has 15' of slack out on you after you've moved past the 1st placement that is only about 10' up. Duhhhh.
10. People who get so frustrated at themselves when they climb that they completely spoil the mood for everyone around them.

This is a good thread. After reading some of your replies, I'm getting a good feel for who may or may not enjoy climbing with me. :-)

Replies to your partner posting: "Relatively new leader seeking SAFE partners for easy non R/X trad climbing" by taking you to Eldo and offering to lead Jules Verne...stating that it won't be any big deal for you as you can follow the whole thing. Then are not able to get more than 10 feet off the ground, while taking 2 almost ground falls in the process which were only prevented by the hoodwinked belayer having to run backwards.

Justin Dansby wrote: Definetly seen this one. Even seen a few folks answer their phone while belaying!

its just important that you have 3 people so the third catches them in the act...

mountainproject.com/v/phil_…

1. Always has an excuse why he can't drive this time
2. You invite him for a weekend of climbing/camping and he invites 300 people to join along
3. you invite him to climb and when you get there his 6 year old is wearing a harness and is coming along (that would be OK if he told you ahead of time)
4. you plan a road trip weeks ahead of time and when you get an early start and are ready to leave he has to go for gas, coffee, food and some things at REI before you can get underway
5. he doesn't bring some critical piece of gear because he knows "you will have a spare"
6. he seems to have ADD on the belays. you have loops of rope on second or are yanking on lead
7. it looks like a cloths bomb/yard sale in the tent/car/hotel room and he can't find his harness/head lamp/socks, etc
8. he can't keep up on the approach, gets mad and expects you to slow down even though he won't do any training (I train and still can't keep up with some of my young partners!)
9. you can count on him to never lead (could be me on some routes!)
10. he cancels at the last minute

Kayte Knower wrote:7) Catching and eating butterflies at camp...

Can you elaborate Kayte? Literally eating butterflies? Or is this some sort of slang for something else...

Does changing your user name on Mountain Project make you any sketchier?

That was the best you could come up with -- you are sketch!!

NoBalls Aren't
Hurl Goddess
Belay Bitch
Princess Whip
Harem Harlequin

I dunno, I could go on & on

Hi. My name is John and I am looking for new partners!

Drags their feet and futzes with footholds leaving sticky skid marks

Kat A wrote:Does changing your user name on Mountain Project make you any sketchier?

Yes. ;-)