Finger Banging for Climber Boys

Hi all!

I wrote a book called Finger Banging for Climber Boys! It's a hands-on guide to giving and receiving female pleasure.

It started as a joke between me and my best friend — her boyfriend would always send her pictures of him in the gym specifically working out his hands/forearms with captions like "4 u babe". We found this delightful, and thought it would be funny to have a book of exercises specifically for climber boys to get better at finger banging. We laughed about this for years, then realized it actually needed to be a real thing.

But we also realized that if we're going to go over strength exercises, we've got to talk about technique... and if we're going to talk about technique, we've got to talk about the female anatomy... and if we're gonna talk about the female anatomy we've gotta cover consent (and how to wash ur f*cking hands!!), and so on so forth. Anyways, it expanded into a real-ass book all about navigating and and pleasuring the female anatomy. While climbing is the unifying thread throughout the book, it's really for anyone and everyone who wants to learn more about how to be a better, more giving partner (or how to coach a better, more giving partner).

This is my first book so I'm kinda figuring out how the hell to do it, but right now I just opened pre-sales! As soon as I get 300 pre-sales I'll do the first big batch order, and we'll be on our way.

Anyone who wants to learn more or purchase one can go to fingerbangingforclimberboys.com.

Best,
Lillian

PS - This is not a joke. It's funny, but it's very real :]

Good lord, I'm 42 going on 14.....This joke immediately popped in my head.

Whats the difference between jam and jelly?
I can't jelly my fist up your ass.

Good luck bangin' out those book sales!

Mr Rogerswrote:

Good lord, I'm 42 going on 14.....This joke immediately popped in my head.

Whats the difference between jam and jelly?
I can't jelly my fist up your ass.

Good luck bangin' out those book sales!

You mean good luck jellying out those book sales?

The book sounds like a hilarious and great idea! I hope it sells well! 

Does this come in a … digital format?

Perhaps not what every dirtbags sex life deserves .. but most certainly need <3

This is crazy for a sport where most participants have horrific calluses/flappers, finger injuries, and are presumably over 15 years old. I’m sold.

Your gonna need to publish a toilet book version for those of us that cant read 300 pages.   

There is something about this… but I can’t put my finger on it. 

When I was young and single, I approached finger banging similarly to an onsight trad lead. I would take a good look, start slowly, and proceed with caution always looking for feedback about the quality of my placements. As the crux got closer, my pace would gradually quicken until success was achieved when I could once again slow down and bask in the glory of a task well done. I suspect your book may not be well received with the more traditional guys, but for the lovers of beta and instruction manuals, I’m sure it will be a bestseller. Good Luck and thanks for the humor. 

Fairly certain Pete Whittaker already wrote this book.

Daniel Shivelywrote:

As the crux got closer, my pace would gradually quicken until success was achieved

Careful, it's possible to quicken until you're climbing at a pace your belayer can't take.

Laura Gwrote:

Careful, it's possible to quicken until you're climbing at a pace your belayer can't take.

Oh, I’m careful, if her grigri locks up I’ll slow down until it’s smoothly running. 

The irony of this being cute when 2 years ago if a route were named as such the woke police would have it renamed for being offensive. The times we live in

I learned to do that properly around the same time when I was learning to weld for a trade apprenticeship I was in. I remember my girlfriend at the time was showing me how to be good at it and I told her how similar it felt to welding? As far as all the detailed small movements and stuff. She thought it was hilarious. I fucking hate welding though. The other one isn't so bad :) 

BigCountrywrote:

The irony of this being cute when 2 years ago if a route were named as such the woke police would have it renamed for being offensive. The times we live in

Such is life as the pendulum swings to and fro.

I am looking to add some advanced techniques to my finger-banging quiver. Does this guide detail how to perform The Minivan?

This is hilarious. I just ordered 3

Would be really funny if the first chapter told you to just use your tongue.

This is awesome and clearly needed as anyone who's spent a little time on TwoX can see. Thanks for normalizing something we all do (or wish we were doing ;). 

Also, I'm more of a visual hands-on learner... Are there any illustrations or educational photos?

And can your next book be "Housekeeping, Cooking, & Hygiene for Climber Boys"?

SenorDBwrote:

This is awesome and clearly needed as anyone who's spent a little time on TwoX can see. Thanks for normalizing something we all do (or wish we were doing ;). 

Also, I'm more of a visual hands-on learner... Are there any illustrations or educational photos?

And can your next book be "Housekeeping, Cooking, & Hygiene for Climber Boys"?

Hi! Yes thanks for the support :] Yep, lots of illustrations!!! Definitely necessary for a subject like this. Illustrated them all myself and it came out great.

And YES that will be the next book 🤣 love it!! 

Sep Mwrote:

Does this come in a … digital format?

Okay I will say, that was a good one! Alas, not in digital format yet. But perhaps in the future??? :]