Custom Big Wall Wine Carriers For The Modern Oenophile

It's the age old dilemma that has existed since  the inception of rock climbing. How does one safely and securely carry their wine bottles, glasses, and accoutrement with them when wall climbing? Many have tried the standard approach of wrapping bottles and glasses in T shirts and throwing them in a backpack only to find their precious cargo has been prematurely liberated from its translucent castle and was flowing like Bruce Lee around the bottom of their pack in the middle of a climb. I personally am not willing to accept such objective hazard any more than I would be to whip on a nut before giving it a dubious tug with raised brow. 

So as any self respecting engineer would I crafted these cargo haulers sized for 1 bottle of wine, 2 glasses, and 1 decanter. What about the small one you ask? Thats for the corkscrew. We don't fuck around. With a hard shell exterior wrapped in fine grain leather for aesthetic appeal, and a foam lined interior, these babies can be clipped to a harness for in a day picnics, or thrown into a haul back for siege missions, giving you the peace of mind that your nectar from the vine will be safely waiting your appraisal at the time YOU choose. The only downside is they are heavy. But hey, you are hauling glass bottles and glasses up a rock climb, what did yo expect? Live with style. 

Why am I letting these go you ask? Im working on Version 2.0. More wine, more glasses. As any self respecting engineer would I am always thinking of the next iteration. 

PRICE: Im not trying to make money, I just want to see more fuckery in the world. I will basically accept any offer or trade so long as I dont have to pay for shipping. 

All carriers, 2 glasses, 1 decanter, one corkscrew, and 0 wine is included. 

Disclaimer: I am NOT an engineer

How about a pyrographic burn of Warren Harding on Version 2.0?

Paul Morrisonwrote:

How about a pyrographic burn of Warren Harding on Version 2.0?

Ooh I like it!

after seeing your videos with tyler i believe these work hahah

I can attest while cedar is a sketchy individual, he takes his wine very seriously and these are locked in. Get em now before BD steals the idea and everyone’s racking these

I'll hold out for a square one for my favorite 3 liter boxed wine.

Will Sharpwrote:

I can attest while cedar is a sketchy individual, he takes his wine very seriously and these are locked in. Get em now before BD steals the idea and everyone’s racking these

Will Im concerned by how much time you spend on Mountain Project. 

Of course the “but how will I bigwall with a 5-star restaurant wine experience?” guy racks totems…

Speaking of, I’m thinking this might be the best climbing evolution since… totems? This guy is a genius.
Chris, I am currently on a plane to the Dolomites, maybe I can bring back some totems to trade for this incredible piece of art. Would most certainly use the f*** out of this. For ingenuity alone it would be worth a triple rack. 

Christian Heschwrote:

Speaking of, I’m thinking this might be the best climbing evolution since… totems? This guy is a genius.
Chris, I am currently on a plane to the Dolomites, maybe I can bring back some totems to trade for this incredible piece of art. Would most certainly use the f*** out of this. For ingenuity alone it would be worth a triple rack. 

Im gonna direct people to this post the next time someone questions my intelligence. 10/10