Things that give you "the ick"

99.9% of social media “influencers”

Extra biners left behind after the piece is extended with an Alpine Draw....ick.

:P

John Tuttlewrote:

Extra biners left behind after the piece is extended with an Alpine Draw....ick.

:P

The term "alpine draw"

Eric Engbergwrote:

The term "alpine draw"

agree... but I think we may be losing the battle on this term

When someone says - on trad

D Mondwrote:

When someone says - on trad

Just like when people say they went skinning when in fact it's skiing, just a weird way to announce extra gear involved,  possibly a humble brag

When people quote themselves for no apparent reason   ;)

People shouting "rock" before trundling and "rope" before throwing while giving no time for anyone beneath them to do anything about it. Like literally, what's the point???

People that call them alpine draws but have never climbed a single pitch of alpine in their life. 

This thread.

Greg Dwrote:

People that call them alpine draws but have never climbed a single pitch of alpine in their life. 

Is one pitch enough? Asking for a friend.

Greg Dwrote:

People that call them alpine draws but have never climbed a single pitch of alpine in their life. 

Under your metrics can we call them alpine draws if we have scrambled alpine pitches? 

What would we call them if not alpine draws?

whats in a name? Would a crag dog wag bag still smell as sweet if it was called by a different name? [turd rescue envelope?]

Maybe we call them extenderz 

TJ Bindseilwrote:

What would we call them if not alpine draws?

whats in a name? Would a crag dog wag bag still smell as sweet if it was called by a different name? [turd rescue envelope?]

Maybe we call them extenderz 

If we did people would gatekeep the name when they aren't actually extended   

TJ Bindseilwrote:

What would we call them if not alpine draws?

sling

You have to at least climb the Grand to earn the right to call them alpine draws.  Otherwise it’s “sling” to you, buddy.  Otherwise we are not able to properly stratify ourselves and it’s chaos.  

If you do have to mention them, such as when querying an experienced alpine climber for sage advice, be sure to cast your eyes down and look only at your feet. 

And definitely don’t let me catch you wearing a “dive watch” if you’re not certified!

Jay Crewwrote:

sling

"Hey can hand me a sling? No not a runner, a sling. Not the 240, one of the slings"

"You mean the alpine dra-"

"HOW DARE YOU!? YOU WHO HAVE NOT GAZED UPON THE MAGNIFICENCE OF THE MATTERHORN, OR LAID YOUR BREAST AGAINST THE SPIRES OF PATAGONIA, OR STEPPED A FOOT ON THE FOUNDATIONS OF THE HIMALAYAS. UTTER NOT THAT NAME LEST I BE FORCED TO SEVER THIS SACRED KERNMANTLE BOND OVER YOUR BELIGERENT HERESY. NOW HAND ME THAT-WHICH-MAY-NOT-BE-NAMED-BY-THE-UNWORTHY SO I MAY LEAD THIS 5.8"

This community sucks

Emil Alejandriawrote:

"Hey can hand me a sling? No not a runner, a sling. Not the 240, one of the slings"

"You mean the alpine dra-"

"HOW DARE YOU!? YOU WHO HAVE NOT GAZED UPON THE MAGNIFICENCE OF THE MATTERHORN, OR LAID YOUR BREAST AGAINST THE SPIRES OF PATAGONIA, OR STEPPED A FOOT ON THE FOUNDATIONS OF THE HIMALAYAS. UTTER NOT THAT NAME LEST I BE FORCED TO SEVER THIS SACRED KERNMANTLE BOND OVER YOUR BELIGERENT HERESY. NOW HAND ME THAT-WHICH-MAY-NOT-BE-NAMED-BY-THE-UNWORTHY SO I MAY LEAD THIS 5.8"

This community sucks

I asked for beta before attempting the grand. Specifically, I asked how many alp*** ***ws to bring. The fella I was asking read me a similar riot act.   Not wanting to look stupid, I stopped asking questions and interpreted it as “bring 0”.

Fast Forward to the next day, (not so) high on the lower exum, I am completely encumbered by rope drag. I could not move up nor down.  I was forced to built a belay in the middle of the black face. If only I had just asked about “sling” instead, maybe I would’ve graduated to the elite level of alpinist who can use alp*** ***ws. 

Alpine slings

Problem solved

I remember when I had to call it the Grand Tetoff when I hadn't summited it yet, or else.  Now I can proudly say Grand Teton.