tommy caldwell moves to california?

Technically... Tommy Caldwell died when he lost his finger... but Death was too afraid to tell him.

Tommy didnt cut his finger off......he ripped it off....we now call that chunk of his finger Magnus Midtbo!

Mike Huntzwetwrote:

Tommy didnt cut his finger off......he ripped it off....we now call that chunk of his finger Magnus Midtbo!

HA!

Rather than admit he had route finding issues on the East Buttress of El Cap, Tommy put up the Dawn Wall.

Big shout out to page 4 here. Never given so many thumbs up  

This thread page is at least 94% better than the climbing memes thread 

Chris Outingswrote:

Big shout out to page 4 here. Never given so many thumbs up  

This thread page is at least 94% better than the climbing memes thread 

78% of all statistics are made up on the spot.   

Tommy didn't move... California moved to be back under Tommy Caldwell.  

Shaniacwrote:

78% of all statistics are made up on the spot.   

Tommy didn't move... California moved to be back under Tommy Caldwell.  

From this day henceforth, South Lake Tahoe shall be referred to as South Lake Colorado. Even if that ruins my preference to refer to Lake Tahoe as The Gulf of Nevadastan.

Poor guy was tired of being the Estes Park town greeter.  Everywhere he went.  Tommy!  Tommy! Tommy!

The people in Tahoe give him respect.  They just call him Tom.  

The best part about all this TC hype is that in the Eldrid video Tommy is all like, "to be really honest, it's hard to pursue my passion while helping raise a family and some days I'm just tiiired" 

Corwrote:

Poor guy was tired of being the Estes Park town greeter. 

When Caldwell and Honnold made an attempt on Cerro Torre in Patagonia, and only Honnold returned... when they found Alex... famished, exhausted, and barely able to stand, all he said was Tommy, Tommy, Tommy!  

Tommy is so strong  the International Science Foundation downgraded Newton's First Law to a "Suggested Guideline"

Tommy Caldwell once shoved a man off a mountain so hard he was immediately reborn into the afterlife only to be killed again by a rival faction.

Tommy once bounce tested his own nuts in the Cobra Crack.

I did quite a bit of climbing with Mike Caldwell, father of The Tommy, back around 1980. Mike was no slouch either, an extremely strong man. We climbed in Estes Park, Devil's Tower, and Josh for several years. Tommy was about two years old then...

Speaking of Mike, when Tommy was 13, they climbed Longs Peak together. It was a brisk, autumn day, not a cloud in the sky and no one else on the summit. Mike said to Tommy, "IT IS TIME." and they both shed their gear and any unneeded clothing. What then transpired was a genius example of hand-to-hand combat, as Tommy literally fought for his life -- and honor. 

"USE WHAT YOU'VE LEARNED!", Mike screamed at the much more diminutive Tommy, the much larger and more experienced Sr. Caldwell pummeled Tommy into hamburger meat. But a fire was lit inside of young Tommy, and he fought back with all his might. At the very precipice of the East Face, Tommy choked Mike using the strength of all his ten fingers, a strength sharped by a hundred thousand hand jams, lifted up old Mike, and threw him off the very face of the Diamond! 

Mike screamed back, "YOU ARE NOW TRULY MY SON!!!" and vanished into the abyss. 

Tommy, shaken but proud, pulled himself together, grabbed the gear that was left on the summit, and rappeled down to the base of the Diamond, and fished for Mike's body, which he found in the bergschrund. Making a simple sledge, he pulled the corpse back to the trailhead, hidden underneath backpacks and ropes. Near the car, in a small clearing by the parking lot, he skinned old Mike using the techniques he learned from their various deer and elk hunting expeditions, then ate the still warm heart of the old man. "we ware now one.", he whispered to himself. A simple funeral pyre was built and Tommy burned the remaining flesh of Mike. He mixed the remaining bones with the bones of a long-gone moose he spotted on the way up.  

Who we know as Mike is actually his preserved skin wrapped in an old  Chuck-E-Cheese animatronic band member, cleverly brought back to life by Tommy himself. And to this day, Tommy has kept Mike and his spirit alive -- until last Fall, where he himself felt the ancestral need to travel to Tahoe with his prodigies, to re-enact the Caldwell tradition, as his youngest inches ever closer to 13. Never has the top of El Cap seen the type of drama unfold than it will on that fateful day: the true Dawning of the Wall, and the day the Fitz takes his place in the Caldwell legacy that stretches for a thousand generations. 

Tommy has been preparing his mind and body for this day since that Autumn day over 30 years ago. 

Wow. Way to cross THAT line... 

Shaniacwrote:

Wow. Way to cross THAT line... 

Well obviously he has access to some really good <your pick of psycho-active substances goes here>.

Tommy Caldwell fan fiction is better than creeping on the dude, I guess. 

I've been substance-free for some time, but I'll never be able to erase my liberal arts degree past. When you're lying in your tricked out super sprinter and hear a rattling outside, maybe it's the wind, 

or maybe it's me writing my next work of fiction in the sand with a tree branch. 

you may never know... 

It’s a good page headliner. A palate cleanser.

Creepy stalking would be the fact I’ve rolled by Honnold’s compound a couple times just to see what tall climbing $$$ gets a fella. It’s very nice. I like.