Climbing Memes IX

When you grab your rappel device and forget that the rap you just did was hella long:

When people argue about the ground up ascent/FA/FFA/development of the shittiest, dirtiest, no-guidebook-listed route at the local chosspile:

It all began with the forging of the great Petzl Connects. Three were given to the Chamonix guides; immortal, wisest and with the biggest egos of all climbers. Seven, to the Polish alpinists, masters of the 8000 meter mountains. And nine, nine tethers were gifted to the Spiders of Lecco, who above all else desire fame in the climbing world. Unfortunately they don't speak english so they're kind of in a world of their own.

Within these tethers was bound the strength to withstand any FF2 fall.

But they were all of them deceived, for another thing was made. In the land of America, in the fires of Mountain Dew, the Dark Lord Skot forged in secret, a master thing, to control all others.

And into this thing he poured all his creativity, his knowledge and his will to dominate big walls. One thing to rule them all. One by one, the free climbers of the World fell to the power of the Alfifi.

Jabroni McChufferson wrote:

Unless you really fuck up, you'll get there.