Mental Recovery after Fall

Someone very close to me is suffering through a mental battle every time she ties in to climb outside. Last May, while being lowered on a route, her belay partner did not pay attention to the rope which didn’t have a stopper knot in it. The rope slipped through and out the gri gri, resulting in her being dropped about 20 feet, severely breaking her wrist and arm.

While her arm is nearly all better, her head game is not (especially when it comes to lowering).

Any suggestions? Anyone who has a similar story?

That's a tough one because there's a big trust component involved. A couple ideas off the top of my head though:

• Your friend becomes the one who ties a knot in the other end of the rope before she starts climbing, so she knows she's closed the system herself. Or, she makes it a habit every time to verify there's a knot on the other end of the rope. 
• She starts using a rope that she knows is longer than what's needed for the routes and obviously also makes sure to verify the knot on the other end. For example, if most routes she climbs call for a 60m rope, buy a 70m and insist on using it. Or if most call for a 70m, use an 80m instead just to give her additional warm and fuzzies. 

keep a closed system and maybe she will slowly trust the gear again.

for single pitch and top rope. stopper knots (closing the system). 

for multi pitch, both leader and follower should tie in (closing the system) before climbing.

Aka What cosmic dawg said.

Your friend is lucky to have only injured her arm in that fall. Twenty feet is a lot.

I think there is value in reframing what happened. The accident didn’t happen because her partner wasn’t paying attention to the rope; it happened because she chose to leave the ground without closing the system or verifying that the rope was long enough, preferably both. The belayer is not supposed to be watching the rope on the ground when they are lowering, they should be watching the climber. When you get to the end of the rope there is nothing you can do if there is no knot; sometimes it’s not great if there is a knot but it’s less catastrophic.

The point is that if she views the accident as having been failed by her partner she’s focusing on something outside of her control. If she views the accident, rightfully, as something she could have prevented, it gives her more agency on future climbs.

Clearly there are times when a belayer is to blame for an incident but this isn’t one of them.

I’m glad she has recovered physically and I hope she can find her climbing head again. 

Sorry to hear about your friend's fall – glad she's physically recovered. At the risk of providing an armchair diagnosis, it sounds like she's experiencing some pretty classic symptoms of PTSD. Makes a lot of sense under the circumstances – a fall resulting in physical injury is pretty much textbook trauma.

Has your friend considered therapy? A therapist trained in trauma can do a lot of good here, and help her get back to full enjoyment of climbing.

Thanks everyone for your input! Nate I especially appreciated yours! We are climbing outside again today! For sure going to try these things out

Nate A wrote:

Your friend is lucky to have only injured her arm in that fall. Twenty feet is a lot.

I think there is value in reframing what happened. The accident didn’t happen because her partner wasn’t paying attention to the rope; it happened because she chose to leave the ground without closing the system or verifying that the rope was long enough, preferably both. The belayer is not supposed to be watching the rope on the ground when they are lowering, they should be watching the climber. When you get to the end of the rope there is nothing you can do if there is no knot; sometimes it’s not great if there is a knot but it’s less catastrophic.

The point is that if she views the accident as having been failed by her partner she’s focusing on something outside of her control. If she views the accident, rightfully, as something she could have prevented, it gives her more agency on future climbs.

Clearly there are times when a belayer is to blame for an incident but this isn’t one of them.

I’m glad she has recovered physically and I hope she can find her climbing head again. 

Disagree with a lot of this.  It absolutely IS the belayer's responsibility to keep track of the end of the rope when lowering some one.  Hopefully the belayer can multitask a little and not lower the climber into a tree etc. and also watch the end.  It was be a SHARED responsibility that was shirked (not closing the system) that got them into this pickle, but once the lowering starts its all on the belayer.  Also to say that there is nothing you can do when you get top the end (hopefully a little before then end) if there is not a knot - shows you are lacking experience.

This is a case where the belayer  was to blame - maybe not 100% but in large part.

I do think you have described some good coping mechanisms and best practices - but its a team situation and everyone has to constantly be vigilant

h j wrote:

At the risk of providing an armchair diagnosis, it sounds like she's experiencing some pretty classic symptoms of PTSD. Makes a lot of sense under the circumstances – a fall resulting in physical injury is pretty much textbook trauma.

Has your friend considered therapy? A therapist trained in trauma can do a lot of good here, and help her get back to full enjoyment of climbing.

Without more information, this seems like a really big leap. I got mauled by a dog when I was a kid and was afraid of dogs for a while, even though I generally love dogs. That’s not PTSD, that’s just normal fear that comes after a scary experience or accident/injury. My grandpa had PTSD from a war, and that was something else entirely. It seems excessive to pathologize this if it’s not interfering with the rest of their life and they are just having a hard time getting their lead head back.  Seems kind of like the difference between being sad after a break-up and having clinical depression.

If they are replaying the accident in their head all of the time and having a hard time sleeping, therapy would definitely be a good resource, but from the description here, it sounds like it will just take time and exposure for them to get comfortable on rock again, and I’m not sure therapy would be very necessary or effective at speeding that up (I don’t mean to discourage them from exploring that if they feel it would be useful).

Eric Engberg wrote:

Disagree with a lot of this.  It absolutely IS the belayer's responsibility to keep track of the end of the rope when lowering some one.  Hopefully the belayer can multitask a little and not lower the climber into a tree etc. and also watch the end.  It was be a SHARED responsibility that was shirked (not closing the system) that got them into this pickle, but once the lowering starts its all on the belayer.  Also to say that there is nothing you can do when you get top the end (hopefully a little before then end) if there is not a knot - shows you are lacking experience.

This is a case where the belayer  was to blame - maybe not 100% but in large part.

I do think you have described some good coping mechanisms and best practices - but its a team situation and everyone has to constantly be vigilant

Generally I try to take responsibility for the things I can control. If I leave the ground without confirming the system is closed I’ve made a mistake. 

Nate A wrote:

The accident didn’t happen because her partner wasn’t paying attention to the rope

It 100% happened, in that moment, because the belayer wasn't paying attention to the end of the rope.  It's trivially easy to watch the rope and your climber.  It's called rope management.  That's the belayer's job. If someone dropped me because a rope slid through their device, I'd never climb with them again. 

You don't always know the length of a route.  Sometimes guidebook and Database info is incorrect. In areas I climb, anchors get moved and route lengths are longer than recorded. Yes you should close the system but that not an excuse for a belayers not being aware of how much rope is left.

Clearly there are times when a belayer is to blame for an incident but this isn’t one of them.

Unless you are soloing or a guide, you are a climbing team.  In this incident, neither partner closed the system. Apparently neither partner knew the length of the route. That was a shared mistake. But why didn't the belayer notice where the half rope mark was as they were belaying?  That is 100% the belayer's responsibility, since that is the person who can assess it, that is the person who can be watching for it.

To the OP, I'm very sorry this happened to your friend.  I've had a number of bad climbing accidents over the years (none because of a belayer error), it just takes a while to get your head back. Communication with your partner is key.  Route length and getting back to the ground plans are part of the discussion, every time. 

 As far as assessing half rope, this is why a lot of people like bicolors.  But you still need a belayer who is watching for it.  Myself, I weave some strands of thick thread through the sheath of all my ropes at the half mark.  Even when the rope gets dirty or the center marks fade, you can feel it going through your hand as you belay. 

Collin H wrote:

Without more information, this seems like a really big leap. I got mauled by a dog when I was a kid and was afraid of dogs for a while, even though I generally love dogs. That’s not PTSD, that’s just normal fear that comes after a scary experience or accident/injury. My grandpa had PTSD from a war, and that was something else entirely. It seems excessive to pathologize this if it’s not interfering with the rest of their life and they are just having a hard time getting their lead head back.  Seems kind of like the difference between being sad after a break-up and having clinical depression.

If they are replaying the accident in their head all of the time and having a hard time sleeping, therapy would definitely be a good resource, but from the description here, it sounds like it will just take time and exposure for them to get comfortable on rock again, and I’m not sure therapy would be very necessary or effective at speeding that up (I don’t mean to discourage them from exploring that if they feel it would be useful).

Having been through a serious climbing accident myself, and gradually regained my head game (an ongoing process that may never be “complete”), I strongly agree with this. Not every trauma leaves you with PTSD. By calling it that, I think you can actually increase its power over you.

Not to say it can’t be PTSD, just to say it isn’t automatic. 

All of you should know that a similar accident has happened to Alex Honnold and he ended up marrying the belayer, though initially he wanted to break up with her. The point is: THE MOST EXPERIENCED climber is at fault in this situation. This was described in the book Alone on the wall.

But it seems that the discussion has diverged from the mental recovery after a fall into finger-pointing. I'm recovering myself after a lead fall of much smaller consequences and it does take time. But this also makes my risk calculations much better. 

EMDR therapy may help your friend

Second the EMDR, but she can ask that you tie a catastrophe knot.