Dream Gear You Wish Existed

Let's hear it. Don't be shy, absurd or serious responses welcome. Maybe someone will make it... 

A second testicle 

LaSportiva Ganda 

I wish there was an app like Uber but for trustworthy people I could hire to carry my pack.  Uphill. Loaded with my trad gear, water and rope.

They have to be ID vetted in someway because otherwise you’d get randos grabbing your pack and sprinting off with $1000s of gear.

I particularly want this for Red Rock.

Smart Alpine 2.0

a bimodal polymer “cam” - basically a lump of goo on a stick, wherein you flick a switch to make it soft and shove it into any nook or crevice of stone, and flick the switch back to harden it into that shape

instant copperheads of any size and shape, for any rock shape and type

Inflatable crash pad. 

Eli Wwrote:

Inflatable crash pad. 

Sick Sequence and Kailas both have these 

An Elven rope; light, supple, wicked strong; self-unties on command, refuses to get stuck, stacks itself neatly in proper length when pulled.

The DMM Grip belay device. Based on a patent by Tony Christianson (same guy who has the patent on double axle cams), this thing looked real slick. It uses completely normal tuber belay technique, and was supposed to work on a wide range of rope diameters. It was small and fairly simple (I'd call it one or two moving parts, depending on your frame of reference). Tony's patent showed how to make one for lead belaying half/twin ropes, which just looked so great for half rope technique. The patent makes it look a bit cumbersome for guide mode style belaying, requiring the addition of a guide hole in kind of a weird spot, and a lever to allow lowering when in guide mode (no lever needed otherwise). I think I could live without guide mode style belaying for its other benefits.

I feel like DMM spent too much time coming up with "cute" solutions/improvements (7 years!), and then decided that their cute solutions weren't durable enough to release the device. They did release the DMM Pivot instead, which I'm grateful for because it's my favorite tuber belay device. In my opinion, instead of going with the bow/mono leaf spring which looked expensive to produce, I'm curious why they didn't go with a torsion spring like in nearly every cam, or a tension coil spring in the space used by the magnets. And I think exposed magnets were also a bad idea; there's plenty of iron in the dirt where I live (trying to find a dropped nut or bolt with a magnet outside is a nearly fruitless endeavor here).

One of these Saturdays or Sundays I'm gonna spend some time in the machine shop at work and make up a simple copy from Tony's patent to try it out.

https://blog.weighmyrack.com/dmm-grip-magnetic-belay-device-7-years-in-the-making/

How about the perfect, lightweight, infallible, auto belay device that could be anchored at the start of a pitch for lead rope solo… than just tie in and climb. An earlier thread somewhere mentioned some experimentation with this idea in a gym setting???

sunglasses that switch into belay specs

An abseil device for double ropes that is as smooth and easy to control as a tube and sufficiently 'auto' locking as to make a 'third hand'/'autoblock' unnecessary. 

And lighter than a GriGri obviously!  

Daniel Joderwrote:

How about the perfect, lightweight, infallible, auto belay device that could be anchored at the start of a pitch for lead rope solo… than just tie in and climb. An earlier thread somewhere mentioned some experimentation with this idea in a gym setting???

I did some experimentation with this maybe half a year ago with the revo, skylotec Gordon, and Edelrid fuse. The prevailing issues are unlocking the device after a fall, and taking in slack when climbing past protection. For redpoint burns the first two options are somewhat viable though. Gordon is a bit too eager to lock though, gotta be careful how fast you pull out slack.

duncan...wrote:

An abseil device for double ropes that is as smooth and easy to control as a tube and sufficiently 'auto' locking as to make a 'third hand'/'autoblock' unnecessary. 

And lighter than a GriGri obviously!  

This exists, CT alpine up. Just need to use appropriate rope diameter

The Cliffhanger bolt gun.

Ben Podborskiwrote:

a bimodal polymer “cam” - basically a lump of goo on a stick, wherein you flick a switch to make it soft and shove it into any nook or crevice of stone, and flick the switch back to harden it into that shape

instant copperheads of any size and shape, for any rock shape and type

Similar to this, you know how geckos can walk on glass? What if we could use similar tech to make a sticker that could adhere to a blank section of wall, strong enough to at least hold body weight, then easily remove it by peeling it off?

Some sort of suction pad-like pro for slab, like the spies use to sneak up skyscrapers 

duncan...wrote:

An abseil device for double ropes that is as smooth and easy to control as a tube and sufficiently 'auto' locking as to make a 'third hand'/'autoblock' unnecessary. 

And lighter than a GriGri obviously!  

Besides the Alpine Up, the GigaJul does this as well as catching falls as assisted as a Gri.

I've sprayed so much pro Giga love (and third hand hate) that Elderid basically owes me a sponsorship by now.

A “highdea” that made me giggle…

For free soloing, wear a magnet belt and have an automated drone follow you (that also has a massive magnet on it) - if you fall it catches and lowers you.

Jon Winsleywrote:

sunglasses that switch into belay specs

These are pretty decent...