What is your climbing conspiracy theory?

I don't mind and you don't matter.

Luke Lalorwrote:

Bouldering gives you lots of micro concussions. A lot of climbers are going to end up with CTE.

I’ve thought about this before and yeah, not thrilled with the prospect. Supposedly football et all are much worse re: CTE due to the more severe jerk (the acceleration of the deceleration) - in most expected/normal falls you’re cushioning your fall with your whole body as you hit the pads, so your brain isn’t changing direction quite so quickly

Those hard slams where you’re not expecting it and fall straight to the mat laid out horizontally can’t be good though

The real reason Rock Exotica discontinued the Silent Partner is that big walls and climbing in general are becoming much too popular and soloists go slowly and impede traffic. All other climbing companies have agreed to play along and not manufacture a suitable replacement of a fairly simple product that is quite old, despite lots of internet attention and demand for such a product. 

The person(s) who own the parking lot at the top of the Lode Hill sneaks out each night to dig the ruts deeper. They also bribe local asphalt companies to stay away. 

Microtakes. All the pros step on their ropes when they rest, effectively taking weight off while pretending to still be on point. (A past user named Val alerted me to this serious issue.)

Dual texture holds were invented because route setters egos can't handle people breaking their sequences.

That the reason we all suck at climbing is finger strength not mental game or body awareness, big hangboard has been perpetuating this for profit.

Hedge fund managers are illegitimately profiting off the international exchange markets comparing the Yosemite Decimal System, French grades, V scale, Australian grades, and UK grades.  Every time you Google search for the grade comparison chart, they get a little bit closer to buying another yacht.

Outdoor climbing pushed by the oil companies, trad by the gear manufacturers, sketchy trad / high ball by the bone repair surgeons.

Mountain Project is actually just a Russian bot site aimed at breaking down society. Every single account on this page is fake except mine & yours.

Climbing (and other extreme sports) is partially tolerated and has even been encouraged in the past by different govs to the extent of putting layabouts on the dole to keep the riff-raff out of sight and off the streets, antisocials too distracted to pursue anarchy or engage politically, and as a natural selection tool to cull some bordeline types that did not apply their usefulness toward the war machine.

TLDR: Extreme sports function as a heatsink, a planer, a pop-off valve, a ground isolating disconnect switch. Society.

The government attempts to control us through manipulating weather forecasts

Chode Rider has never actually riden a chode. Quite possible he has riden something larger than a chode. 

Princess Puppy Lovrwrote:

Chode Rider has never actually riden a chode. Quite possible he has riden something larger than a chode. 

"au chodeval"

Will Mwrote:

Mountain Project is actually just a Russian bot site aimed at selling us CBD Gummies

ftfy.

djkyotewrote:

IFSC still has gendered routes, cuz the chicks would be crying otherwise

Princess Puppy Lovrwrote:

Chode Rider has never actually riden a chode. Quite possible he has riden something larger than a chode. 

Of all the threads on MP where you could have actually likely contributed you still choose to post this kinda shit. I’m disappointed……..also, we already knew that about the chodester   

That none of us actually climb, we all just sit at a desk all day ranting on MP

Cronwrote:

The concept of micro fractures is pushed by BD/Petzl/etc to get you to buy more carabiners. Same goes for retirement ages assigned to soft goods. A rope with a core shot is fine as long as you don’t weight it. 

Pfft, microfactures are old news. What about micro-tears in your webbing

BITD every boulder problem was an onsite free solo.  Now BIG PAD has manipulated us to believe that sitting on some foam for hours underneath our "proj" is rock climbing.