overheard at the crag: post it

I unlocked my thread since it appeared people weren’t finished. Admittedly, I locked it to be a troll. Belay discussions can be continued on any of those other threads.

overheard at the crag, was a guide loudly spouting all of his thoughts about safe climbing with a very “my way or the highway” attitude to some poor soul who unfortunately paid for this. Most memorable was something along the lines of “That guys is dumb for rappelling off one rap ring.” It was linked to two bolts.

Later that same day, I was showing my partner my TR solo setup. Someone from the party next to us whispers “if he falls with a toothed device, he’ll rip his rope to shreds.” My partner looks up at me with pure terror. I calmly say “he’s talking about something else.”

Yoda Jedi Knight wrote:

I unlocked my thread since it appeared people weren’t finished. Admittedly, I locked it to be a troll. Belay discussions can be continued on any of those other threads.

overheard at the crag, was a guide loudly spouting all of his thoughts about safe climbing with a very “my way or the highway” attitude to some poor soul who unfortunately paid for this. Most memorable was something along the lines of “That guys is dumb for rappelling off one rap ring.” It was linked to two bolts.

Later that same day, I was showing my partner my TR solo setup. Someone from the party next to us whispers “if he falls with a toothed device, he’ll rip his rope to shreds.” My partner looks up at me with pure terror. I calmly say “he’s talking about something else.”

A few years ago, I saw a girl struggling to hang a 2nd bolt on one of the popular beginner routes. She tried a few times, and was getting close, but was just a couple inches short of reaching the bolt, and wasn’t willing to go higher.

Her belayer had an idea: he could hang the 2nd bolt with a stick clip, then she wouldn’t have to lock off quite as much! Great idea, but he was attempting to do this while the girl was hanging on the rope at the first bolt… basically, he was trying to do this one-handed, while still holding her weight/belaying.

As soon as I realized what they were doing, I told her to go in-direct. They didn’t know what it meant, so I explained. She clipped one side of the draw to her belay loop, the other side to the first draw. Her belayer had just started trying to stick clip the 2nd bolt with both hands, when two guys walking by yelled to the girl:”metal-on-metal!!!! You can’t do that!” And walked on.

The girl and her belayer both looked at me with complete panic!

My response was exactly the same as yours. “He’s talking about something else.”

Tal M wrote:

• A guy doing the approach back to the car, in sunglasses, at night, with his phone as a flashlight in one hand. He was wearing prescription sunglasses and forgot to bring his normal glasses. That guy is me, on probably at least 15 separate occasions at this point. 

Ha!! Same here. 

Tal M wrote:

• Climber at Wall of the 90s whose power scream was their own name (apparently this front range climber has also been seen at G1. If you're on here, hit me up - I have a lot of friends who want to climb with you).

Edit: oops, quoted the wrong one before. Still kinda worked.

It was a misty morning on the elusive slopes of Mount Rubidoux. I carried a single boulder pad and walked fast over broken glass and discarded Happy Meals in search of crisp dime-edges. I crossed paths with a typical middle-aged couple, out for a pleasant morning stroll. “Oh look Jim! You outta get one of those” the lady says, referring to my pad. Jim grunts and nods agreeably. Just after we cross paths the woman turns to Jim and whispers, as if sharing a juicy secret, “they use those to do Zumba up there”. I’ve heard many a strange crash-pad theories down at the Doux but this was probably the funniest.

This isn't climbing related, but overheard at the crag. My group was climbing next to a group of college kids, talking about college kid things...very loudly.

"Yeah, so she got paid $10,000 to pee on this guy's face and then the next day came into class and he was her professor".

Had to take a moment to process that one.

abandon moderation wrote:

Whatever boulderers told them they were going to do Zumba are probably still laughing. A friend of mine used to tell people it was a "mobile fornication station" when they asked about the pad. Sometimes he'd let them in on the joke after a moment, sometimes not...

That reminds me... Years ago, a friend of mine was taking pictures for a new bouldering guidebook. He was carrying a backpack with camera equipment, tripods, flashes, etc. heavy equipment, all in all, but relatively small pack. We started the day with my boyfriend and myself each carrying a pad. We ran into some friends, and they were short on pads for a highball, so when we left, one of the pads stayed with them, to be returned to us later. My boyfriend would have probably carried our one remaining pad (large Organic), but a strap broke that day, so we tied it together, shortening it significantly, and I was the only person small enough to be able to carry the pad with the short strap.

The bottom line, we walk out of the woods to the picnic area, where we parked the car. The two guys are walking with small backpacks. I'm carrying the crash pad that does look quite comically large on me. The crash pad has knocked leaves and twigs into my hair as we were doing some bushwhacking. I look about as good as you'd expect, after a sweaty summer day of climbing.

There is an elderly couple enjoying the picnic. The lady takes one look at the trio of us, and sidles up to me when I leave the guys to use the bathroom, before getting in the car. "You poor thing, Are you ok?" she whispers to me. "The guys are having fun, and YOU ARE CARRYING THE BED?"

Andrea Wilhelm wrote:

This isn't climbing related, but overheard at the crag. My group was climbing next to a group of college kids, talking about college kid things...very loudly.

"Yeah, so she got paid $10,000 to pee on this guy's face and then the next day came into class and he was her professor".

Had to take a moment to process that one.

What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?

That professor never paid $10,000 to have a garbanzo bean on his face.

Not the crag, but the gym: Kid talking up placing second in a recent bouldering comp, can climb pretty hard, in his defense. Minutes later a couple of us are talking about some of the outdoor routes we’ve been projecting and I overhear the same kid say “I wouldn’t know what grades they’re talking about, I’ve never climbed outside”. Honestly just sad when you live an hour from one of the greatest climbing destinations of the Midwest (horseshoe canyon). 

Eli Boldman wrote:

Not the crag, but the gym: Kid talking up placing second in a recent bouldering comp, can climb pretty hard, in his defense. Minutes later a couple of us are talking about some of the outdoor routes we’ve been projecting and I overhear the same kid say “I wouldn’t know what grades they’re talking about, I’ve never climbed outside”. Honestly just sad when you live an hour from one of the greatest climbing destinations of the Midwest (horseshoe canyon). 

Different strokes for different folks

Crimpin Ain't Easy wrote:

Damn dude, how much money does the average professor make to be dropping $10,000 for some pee to the face?

My exact thought! Jfc.

For $10k she did a whole lot more than peeing. A lot more.

Pretty sure that story is an urban legend as old as the 'Celebrity X had their bottom ribs removed' stories (not suggesting that it wasn't overheard, but that the supposed party involved does not exist).

Back to things that actually happened, this was ~10 years ago at the RRG in spring break season. Climbing with some friends on their first time outdoors, we head to Muir Valley and check out Bruise Bros for the first and last time. The climber on the neighboring route takes a whip and, seconds later, yells 'I think I lost my F%$# finger!'. Surprisingly little fanfare is had as his partners find the detached digit and walk the climber out. Climber is insistent that he doesn't know what happened, but he definitely didn't put his finger in the bolt hanger.

2 days later, his friends are out climbing while he's laid up in the Miguel's basement, arm immobilized in a device holding his reattached finger steady. Someone walks into the basement, sees him, and asks what happened. "Oh, I put my finger in the bolt hangar and fell, and it cut it off."

Crimpin Ain't Easy wrote:

Damn dude, how much money does the average professor make to be dropping $10,000 for some pee to the face?

I was on the wall at the time, so didn't ask them the many, many questions I had. 

Well there was that dude who lost two fingertips in Indian Creek...

MattH wrote:

Pretty sure that story is an urban legend as old as the 'Celebrity X had their bottom ribs removed' stories (not suggesting that it wasn't overheard, but that the supposed party involved does not exist).

Back to things that actually happened, this was ~10 years ago at the RRG in spring break season. Climbing with some friends on their first time outdoors, we head to Muir Valley and check out Bruise Bros for the first and last time. The climber on the neighboring route takes a whip and, seconds later, yells 'I think I lost my F%$# finger!'. Surprisingly little fanfare is had as his partners find the detached digit and walk the climber out. Climber is insistent that he doesn't know what happened, but he definitely didn't put his finger in the bolt hanger.

2 days later, his friends are out climbing while he's laid up in the Miguel's basement, arm immobilized in a device holding his reattached finger steady. Someone walks into the basement, sees him, and asks what happened. "Oh, I put my finger in the bolt hangar and fell, and it cut it off."

Fuckin Bruise Bros, if anyone is looking to gain some WFR or rescue experience all they need to do is spend a half day there and wait for the inevitable "ok, now that you're at the anchors clip your PAS into the bolts and untie your rope" first time cleaning convo to start.

Matt Robinson wrote:

Fuckin Bruise Bros, if anyone is looking to gain some WFR or rescue experience all they need to do is spend a half day there and wait for the inevitable "ok, now that you're at the anchors clip your PAS into the bolts and untie your rope" first time cleaning convo to start.

We knew the reputation going in, but didn't expect it to be that bad. Later that same day we saw a ground fall at another wall there. The climber fell before the first bolt and rolled down the hill - no major injuries in that one thankfully. Muir Valley should start requiring a gym lead tag before you can climb - I doubt things have improved in the last 10 years given the climbing gym boom.

MattH wrote:

Later that same day we saw a ground fall at another wall there. The climber fell before the first bolt and rolled down the hill...

I wonder if s/he is ego driven to think using a stick clip on a sport route is "cheating"?

Marc801 C wrote:

I wonder if s/he is ego driven to think using a stick clip on a sport route is "cheating"?

To make it even better muir valley has free stick clips to borrow for the day (at least now, not sure exactly when this happened). It's practically the Disneyland of climbing with perfectly maintained trails, signage, and route name tags including grade and style.

MattH wrote:

 Later that same day we saw a ground fall at another wall there. The climber fell before the first bolt and rolled down the hill

But how is that possible if their belayer promised they were on belay before they left the ground? 

I kid!

Let's stick to the important topics of sex workers and urban legends. No sex worker earns $10,000 for an hour of work. The highest of high echelon sex workers might approach that figure for a jet-setting day with a billionaire. But setting aside the economics of sex worker pay, and college professor pay as mentioned previously...if anyone actually were earning that kind of money for the simple act of peeing, they damn sure wouldn't be stupid enough to out their clients. We give this story Five Pinocchios With Pants Afire.