Devin Andretti Responds

Will S wrote: As a n00b gaper, you think living in the ditch is paradise. Then you go do it for a season or three. Your illusions are quickly shattered.

Living in the valley sucks for at least 7mo of the year. Kind of nice down at Arch on the those mid-winter days when the sun is blasting, and the snow keeps everyone away. The good climbing season is about 2 mo long in the fall before the first death storm arrives, with scattered nice days here and there otherwise. Wet routes in the spring, hot smokey and choked beyond capacity from May-Sept.  Grocery prices are outrageous, the LEO rangers are dicks, the camping scene is a cluster, all but about a dozen jobs in the entire place are menial bullshit for povery pay. Soon, you find it's more appealing to lay by the river drinking Cobras and OldE tallboys at 7am than spend another day greasing out of cracks that are hotter than the surface of the sun.

You get tired of the same repetitive stories in the Caf every morning, from the same waster bums who have no way out. The posing, the bridge clownshow, the 19yos trying to emulate the scene of the 80s that isn't feasible anymore and was never attractive in the first place, the same lame slide shows and the 8,237th showing of some film with Ron Kauk chanting Om and playing the Pan Flute while sounding like a LA Hipster "life coach" after a few too many peyote trips.

It's amazing once you're off the ground on a route obscure enough or hard enough to keep the hordes away, during the brief period said routes are in condition. Other than that, it blows. Gorgeous, inspiring, and a total festering shithole all wrapped into one. Have fun, kids.

Will S THE PEOPLE OF THE PROJ HAVE SPOKEN

Give us our JTree burn, we demand it, we are not yet entertained!!!! 

Cole D wrote:

Will S THE PEOPLE OF THE PROJ HAVE SPOKEN

Give us our JTree burn, we demand it, we are not yet entertained!!!! 

Did he he self-immolate at ST or was he banned? 

I guarantee you there have been plenty burns on many topics written by Mr Upyerazz! 

Devin Andretti wrote:

 ..

All of you on here are fighting a pointless battle while I’m still enjoying my life as I have been. Likely most are just bored at some dead-end job or crummy home. I’m sure majority of you would comment on any topic that had this much attention just in hopes of upvotes making you feel cool/liked .. meanwhile I prefer to get my stoke from real life encounters so carry on on MP I keep living the Valley good life w/ the right people & replying to imbiciles at my convenience in between sends.

It's imbeciles, not imbiciles.  

NBD, but you don't want to end up like this guy:

my goat says last time he posts a picture getting ready to go craggin, he got no acknowledgement

This thread just became a crossfire hurricane.

H Lue wrote:

Well I've been waiting in the meadow forever. 

You’re still in the meadow???  Check under some random rocks H Lue, Kyle or Devin may be hiding under one of them. 

 Y’all are smash on sight as far as I’m concerned.

I usually like someone to buy me dinner first, but kudos to you for skipping the formalities and getting right down to business 

I believe Kyle and take Devin's side. Need a room?

H Lue wrote: I had a dream last night that I was Devin Andretti. 

Wait, wait, and you had a brother named Mario Andretti. But then you had an older, more stereotypically Italian brother named Super and he was in fact the better race car driver.

Amirite?

I have that fucking dream every night.

yeah...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UFc1pr2yUU

TBlom wrote: yeah...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UFc1pr2yUU

Nice

Baped Caldy wrote:

Is it just me, or does this picture strike fear in the hearts of men?

He’s pretty scary until you realize you could easily elude him by climbing something harder than 5.6.

CO Climber wrote: Has anyone else received a love note from Kyle?  LOL!  

Next week in the Meadows Kyle.  Tag team matchup, WWF style, you and Devin vs. me and H Lue. No holds barred.

The Meadows?

You should hold the Grudge Match on the side of the 2nd Flatiron!

I thought Kyle was taking this all in stride?
You sound awfully bitter in this thread.

Cole D wrote:

Will S THE PEOPLE OF THE PROJ HAVE SPOKEN

Give us our JTree burn, we demand it, we are not yet entertained!!!! 

The Proj doesn't like me very much, I got locked out of the thread after 2 posts in an 8hr period. I can't blame them, hell I don't even like me.

JT burn?

Naw, ya'll go ahead, I loved JT...for a while. Moved there like 10 years ago, bought a house on acreage for cheap, drove in to climb or ride on weekdays, drove a few miles home and slept in a bed. Left it to the hordes on weekends. No messing with crowds, no issue with housing or camping, might run across a LEO ranger once every 3 years and they usually had better weed than I did.

But the good 'ol days are gone there too, the Silver Lake hipster locusts invaded, every third house is an Air-B-n-B full of interloper jabronis and manbuns in their not-very-manly-pris causing a ruckus all night aligning their chakras and getting in touch with their inner moon goddess by beating on a drum out of time. Over it, broseph. Sold the place last year.

Currently living in one of the least desirable (aside from the salary) locations possible, one of the true armpits of the mojave, so that a few years from now I can retire and move on to the next great place while it's still great. And no, not telling you where that will be, I want another 10yr run before having to flee the invading masses of Woke Hipsters living their best life in their $80k Sprinters cosplaying as dirtbags.

But I'm thinking the OP should head down there, if you want to solo miniature routes at low grades, it's stacked, pretty much how I spent half my rest days. Of course some geezer who's older than Moses will come hobbling by on his cane and solo every route at crag as you walk off, because he's been climbing there 100 days a year, every year, since 1972...which, coincidentally is also the last time he bathed.  

 Story time's over Junior, it's almost time for Matlock, now get off the denuded wasteland of sand and creostote bushes that I call my lawn and fetch me some geritol.

Anonymous wrote: Kyle, when are you going to post up your address like you said you would?

You can find him at the base of the 2nd Flatiron

Will S you need a permanent rotation on a new column in rock and ice or climbing.

Crusty Old Climbers Keeping it Real or something like that.

This stuff is great!

Cosplaying dirtbags
That’s a good one

Cosmiccragsman AKA Dwain wrote: You can find him at the base of the 2nd Flatiron

Was 2nd Flatiron “Smash on Site” too Kyle? 

Will S wrote:

The Proj doesn't like me very much, I got locked out of the thread after 2 posts in an 8hr period. I can't blame them, hell I don't even like me.

JT burn?

Naw, ya'll go ahead, I loved JT...for a while. Moved there like 10 years ago, bought a house on acreage for cheap, drove in to climb or ride on weekdays, drove a few miles home and slept in a bed. Left it to the hordes on weekends. No messing with crowds, no issue with housing or camping, might run across a LEO ranger once every 3 years and they usually had better weed than I did.

But the good 'ol days are gone there too, the Silver Lake hipster locusts invaded, every third house is an Air-B-n-B full of interloper jabronis and manbuns in their not-very-manly-pris causing a ruckus all night aligning their chakras and getting in touch with their inner moon goddess by beating on a drum out of time. Over it, broseph. Sold the place last year.

Currently living in one of the least desirable (aside from the salary) locations possible, one of the true armpits of the mojave, so that a few years from now I can retire and move on to the next great place while it's still great. And no, not telling you where that will be, I want another 10yr run before having to flee the invading masses of Woke Hipsters living their best life in their $80k Sprinters cosplaying as dirtbags.

But I'm thinking the OP should head down there, if you want to solo miniature routes at low grades, it's stacked, pretty much how I spent half my rest days. Of course some geezer who's older than Moses will come hobbling by on his cane and solo every route at crag as you walk off, because he's been climbing there 100 days a year, every year, since 1972...which, coincidentally is also the last time he bathed.  

 Story time's over Junior, it's almost time for Matlock, now get off the denuded wasteland of sand and creostote bushes that I call my lawn and fetch me some geritol.

Good stuff. 

Will S wrote:

The Proj doesn't like me very much, I got locked out of the thread after 2 posts in an 8hr period. I can't blame them, hell I don't even like me.

JT burn?

Naw, ya'll go ahead, I loved JT...for a while. Moved there like 10 years ago, bought a house on acreage for cheap, drove in to climb or ride on weekdays, drove a few miles home and slept in a bed. Left it to the hordes on weekends. No messing with crowds, no issue with housing or camping, might run across a LEO ranger once every 3 years and they usually had better weed than I did.

But the good 'ol days are gone there too, the Silver Lake hipster locusts invaded, every third house is an Air-B-n-B full of interloper jabronis and manbuns in their not-very-manly-pris causing a ruckus all night aligning their chakras and getting in touch with their inner moon goddess by beating on a drum out of time. Over it, broseph. Sold the place last year.

Currently living in one of the least desirable (aside from the salary) locations possible, one of the true armpits of the mojave, so that a few years from now I can retire and move on to the next great place while it's still great. And no, not telling you where that will be, I want another 10yr run before having to flee the invading masses of Woke Hipsters living their best life in their $80k Sprinters cosplaying as dirtbags.

But I'm thinking the OP should head down there, if you want to solo miniature routes at low grades, it's stacked, pretty much how I spent half my rest days. Of course some geezer who's older than Moses will come hobbling by on his cane and solo every route at crag as you walk off, because he's been climbing there 100 days a year, every year, since 1972...which, coincidentally is also the last time he bathed.  

 Story time's over Junior, it's almost time for Matlock, now get off the denuded wasteland of sand and creostote bushes that I call my lawn and fetch me some geritol.

You sir, have a gift.  Have you ever been to....Boulder, Colorado?  I think she needs your attention here.