Partner is making safety mistakes while climbing...and is also my life partner---how to talk with him?

Mark Pilate wrote: I’m not sure even what the argument is here ......and all are correct in their particular context

I’ll quote myself because I experienced an example this weekend.  Somewhat similar to OP. The scenario was a top belay on a ledge with low anchors.  Single pitch.   I considered my options; (using old school version Reverso on 9.2 mm rope -not mine)
Didn’t choose Guide mode- knew I had 80% chance I’d need to lower cuz the person wouldn’t top out. 
Didn’t belay off anchor directly cuz I needed to watch and offer running beta.
Maybe coulda extended my own tie in to hang off the edge and use redirect but this was gonna take awhile, so “hanging belay” was not optimal for comfort.  
Chose to straddle anchor on knees which allowed me to have comfortable orientation (after adjusting key equipment out of the way of pinching) and lean over edge to watch and talk to climber.  Belayed directly off my harness.  No instability when suddenly weighted, and eventually lowered her to ground easy peasy.   I did have to adjust rope angle to 130degrees AND I had to tighten grip on the 9.2 thru the old Reverso.   End result?   Obviously We both died.  

Mark Pilate wrote: I’ll quote myself because I experienced an example this weekend.  Somewhat similar to OP. The scenario was a top belay on a ledge with low anchors.  Single pitch.   I considered my options; (using old school version Reverso on 9.2 mm rope -not mine)
Didn’t choose Guide mode- knew I had 80% chance I’d need to lower cuz the person wouldn’t top out. 
Didn’t belay off anchor directly cuz I needed to watch and offer running beta.
Maybe coulda extended my own tie in to hang off the edge and use redirect but this was gonna take awhile, so “hanging belay” was not optimal for comfort.  
Chose to straddle anchor on knees which allowed me to have comfortable orientation (after adjusting key equipment out of the way of pinching) and lean over edge to watch and talk to climber.  Belayed directly off my harness.  No instability when suddenly weighted, and eventually lowered her to ground easy peasy.   I did have to adjust rope angle to 130degrees AND I had to tighten grip on the 9.2 thru the old Reverso.   End result?   Obviously We both died.  

You just blew your chance at being the OP's next boyfriend.

Paul Deger wrote:

I presume your “never” does not include TR or single pitch.

Watch the quote marks in the post - it was Bill S. who spouted that n00b nonsense about never.

@OP, are y'all selling your gear and moving on yet? If so, I'm interested in your pink tri-cam, black totem, old style R1 in a men's medium, locking binders, and would love to get my hands on an ascender or tibloc for cheap.  

Hollaatchyaboi  

BillS wrote:

You clearly have no idea what this thread is even about.

Still waiting on RGold.  

Yes, actually I do. My reply was single pitch, the long gone OP is talking about multi.

I deleted my reply when it became clear folks were back to the OP scenario.

FWIW, this isn't at all the first time the technical points discussed have come up. I have followed threads on here for five years now. The back and forth, you included (I apologize for my snark) has been super helpful.

I agree that merely "being a geezer" is no qualification. However, people who have forty or fifty years of actively ​learning a specialty? Including all the new stuff that comes along? Holy crap. I find it astonishing that you denigrate that. That ​is the expertise that rgold brings.

As to computers? A co-worker of mine is extremely well respected for that same depth of experience. Forty plus years, in software, hardware, code....and for the same employer. If she can't figure it out, it's not gonna happen.

And BillS? You are in the women's forum. Make your point without being a jerk. That's one of the other things rgold can manage. See if you can best him, eh? ;-)

Best, Helen

BillS wrote: It's more about the fact an ATC does not have as much friction as, say, a gri-gri.  You can't directly control as large a load.  Keep in mind whatever you recommend has to work for, for example, a small 110 lb female and the associated gripping strength holding a 200+ lb fattie.  

And yes - without the load vectoring to an anchor instead of your body, you can also be thrown out of balance and control.

More interestingly, and entertainingly, is some geezer from the gunks who has posted as much about hip belays is being held on the climbing internet as some expert on the matter - and all other matters.  

How many guides have you brought into certification in the past 5-10 years, rgold?  Written any books that have been accepted by international certifying orgs?  That's right - zero - and your bad advice disagrees with all of them presently.

Quoting, so this will be here. H.

Marc801 C wrote:

Watch the quote marks in the post - it was Bill S. who spouted that n00b nonsense about never.

oops - my bad

Old lady H wrote:

Yes, actually I do. My reply was single pitch, the long gone OP is talking about multi....

Uhhh....OP was talking about single pitch in her examples with boyfriend.  Jus sayin 

Mark Pilate wrote: Uhhh....OP was talking about single pitch in her examples with boyfriend.  Jus sayin 

Well geez. Sorry! Top belay, though. Thanks for reminding me. This is a looonnnnnng thread!

Best, H.

Old lady H wrote:

This is a looonnnnnng thread!

Yes, and I apologize for my role in exacerbating a long digression of considerable heat and almost no light.

wonderwoman wrote:

Not sure why he would bother responding to you, at this point.

So BillS wins?!

Tradiban wrote:

So BillS wins?!

If you call being disliked and lonely winning, yes...

"The iPhone 10 is Ok, but I don't see what all the fuss is about. There are some features that are lacking, the price is really high, and there are other phones that have similar or even better capabilities."

That would be a reasonable thing to say in some contexts. But if you say that at an Apple trade show you are likely to be physically assaulted.

There are people that buy just about everything Apple makes, without question, and make every effort to find value in them. We all know a few of these people.

Bill S, you are never going to convince an Apple fanboi that Apple products are not always better. These people have already made up their mind, even before the product is released. Just let them buy all their expensive white adapter cables and keep your mouth shut.

BillS wrote:

In the remainder not a single sentence other than mine providing a technical, statistically valid or otherwise engineering sound reason to support or deny the OP’s actual safety question. 

Nope, yours certainly didn't do that either.

Artful Dodger wrote: Agree with Ken,

This also applies to you, "Cutting through such a large pile of self absorbed BS and the people spewing it will never, ever be pretty." We get it you are in love with your self. You and Sloppy make a great couple.

Ok, sorry I said that I will play nice again, new me says: you guys have a lot to contribute but you come off as arrogant spraylords.

No one wants to see folks get hurt, especially on this forum we want to contribute to the conversation but I don't see how denigrating anyone does that. And I think folks will never take your word as gospel. Once they get over the barbs they might use something you say but it will be included with anything they also get from others, that is learning.

Lol, did you say gospel?

Thanks for including me in your ad homenim!

(Of course this is the internet, the land of the ad hominen attack, so feel free to blaze away.)

BillS wrote:

He already did when he revived an otherwise dead thread to tell us how clear, detailed and awesome all his posts are and how far beneath him most of us are - without answering the question there either.  

This on top of countless cringy posts of men offering a female counseling in a women’s thread. 

In the remainder not a single sentence other than mine providing a technical, statistically valid or otherwise engineering sound reason to support or deny the OP’s actual safety question.  Most replies were completely irrelevant.

Cutting through such a large pile of self absorbed BS and the people spewing it will never, ever be pretty.

Still struggling with that don't be a jerk part? It's also "cringe worthy" that you speak on behalf of the women, and decide we don't want replies from men....hmmmmm. I'm just a girl, but your logic is failing me here. Maybe grab another cuppa coffee?? ;-)

Best, I am smiling, sir, take it with humor, please, Helen

Did rgold cut Bill off in traffic or let his dog crap on his lawn or something?

Did BillS delete most of his posts? I am only seeing many of them in quotes. Why would someone who believes they are so right do so?

Jaren Watson wrote:

I don’t know why you had to drag me into this.

Share the misery?