Aleks Zebastian?

mountainproject.com/blog/36…

In what is probably the greatest interview of my life, I tracked down MP's best forum troll/treasure. I hope you like it.

I love reading the words many of Aleks, but I thought we might see a real photo of him. Anyway, fun read and I'm a fan of Aleks. Thanks.

He has been stepping out of character lately, getting less funny.

Glad to finally get some more insight into this Norse God.

Rick Blair wrote:He has been stepping out of character lately, getting less funny.

That's blasphemy, Rick. We may have to deport you for that.

Overall I liked the interview, but he got out of character with his language in answering some of the responses. Many sounded too fluent in English to be the real Aleks.

Eric Carlos wrote:Overall I liked the interview, but he got out of character with his language in answering some of the responses. Many sounded too fluent in English to be the real Aleks.

That happens if he's been drinking, "vodka and fish oil for to lubricating the connecting of the tissue"

I met him once on a route at the black. I was struggling with a 5.11 crux about seven pitches off the deck. He was on the next route over and saw my distress.

He said "Let me be to helping you old fat climber" and traversed over to me on some tiny crimps. Grabbed my left wrist and lifted me past the move before I could say anything. He said "You are not so heavy as you are to be looking old fat climber" before moving back onto his own route.

About two hours later we made the top of the wall and Aleks was sitting with his feet dangling over the edge sucking the brains out of some fish heads. He handed me one and said "Here, be sucking of the brain material for the faster recovery and to be crushing more of the routes"

I offered him a PBR, we talked a few more minutes and he was gone. I tossed the fish head over the side and headed home to OK. A couple of days later I noticed a terrible smell in the garage. I followed my nose and there it was! A fish head he had somehow slipped into my chalk bag. JB

I'm not a fan and Flaged this

Shannon Davis wrote: mountainproject.com/blog/36… In what is probably the greatest interview of my life, I tracked down MP's best forum troll/treasure. I hope you like it. THAT THIS IS WHAT YOU CONSIDER A GREAT MOMENT IN YOUR LIFE . Is sad , pathetic really

I do not know where to start!
It is an insult to one of this year's recipients of the Mugs Stump award!
Why would this be a thing that is promoted?
A sense of humor is not a universal thing
I am not a fan !
I've flagged his posts and now this?
Stupor turd meet Mountain Reject!
Okay I grant it that it adds some thing . . .
Color?
But is that something that good ? Constructive?
What about fair play for the Amozonian women?

Sheeesh I'm the wet blanket? That is amazing given my 44 Years of climbing, that have followed the same sex drugs and rock'n fool that our society has been carousing around for the same time

Michael Schneider wrote:I'm not a fan and Flaged this I do not know where to start! It is an insult to one of this year's recipients of the Mugs Stump award! Why would this be a thing that is promoted? A sense of humor is not a universal thing I am not a fan ! I've flagged his posts and now this? Stupor turd meet Mountain Reject! Okay I grant it that it adds some thing . . . Color? But is that something that good ? Constructive? What about fair play for the Amozonian women? Sheeesh I'm the wet blanket? That is amazing given my 44 Years of climbing, that have followed the same sex drugs and rock'n fool that our society has been carousing around for the same time

Tell me you didn't really flag the OP's post? Even if you don't find it entertaining, why would you want to have it removed? Don't be a party pooper.

To those who object to our climbing friends humor, yes, you may skip his posts.

If you incapable if same and are doing the flagging of our climbing friends, OLH
asks you to consult a calendar with our orbiting bodies phases. Please observe the date of January 12th, and our celestial satellite.

Now, please picture the accompanying formal salute, from an almost 60 year old posterior (one week off from 1/12), with a loud highaltitudeflatulenceexpulsion, accompanying noise, and fireworks from the methane explosion, and,

know I was thinking of your crabby self.

Best, Crabby Olllddd LH.

At least the -20 wind chill didn't materialize this morning.

Old lady H wrote:To those who object to our climbing friends humor, yes, you may skip his posts. If you incapable if same and are doing the flagging of our climbing friends, OLH asks you to consult a calendar with our orbiting bodies phases. Please observe the date of January 12th, and our celestial satellite. Now, please picture the accompanying formal salute, from an almost 60 year old posterior (one week off from 1/12), with a loud highaltitudeflatulenceexpulsion, accompanying noise, and fireworks from the methane explosion, and, know I was thinking of your crabby self. Best, Crabby Olllddd LH. At least the -20 wind chill didn't materialize this morning.

I love it when You talk dirty . . . Even if it is in co hear ent

I see your twelfth and will wait till the twenty-first when both the babe in my life and I will have arrived I'm not saying but just about the same diaper pins were used on us two too!

Cause I'm terribly forgetful at remembering things like dates in the 1st month of the year,
a month I'm often un-aware of, except cold blows my high
since the wife took my tools n ' Pons away. She didn't want me to die
And she got me going ice clambering in the first place !

Oh yeah, IWas in the midst of a thought! Happy trails for your next circle around the glowing thing up in the sky.

I've always wondered who he really is behind the internet persona? An 80 year old over the hill or perhaps a 15 year old crusher? Does he run his posts through several translators or is he just a resident alien and this is his second language? Most of you may actually know him - someone PM me some info on this colorful personality with whom we have such a love/hate relationship please.

John Barritt wrote: That happens if he's been drinking, "vodka and fish oil for to lubricating the connecting of the tissue" I met him once on a route at the black. I was struggling with a 5.11 crux about seven pitches off the deck. He was on the next route over and saw my distress. He said "Let me be to helping you old fat climber" and traversed over to me on some tiny crimps. Grabbed my left wrist and lifted me past the move before I could say anything. He said "You are not so heavy as you are to be looking old fat climber" before moving back onto his own route. About two hours later we made the top of the wall and Aleks was sitting with his feet dangling over the edge sucking the brains out of some fish heads. He handed me one and said "Here, be sucking of the brain material for the faster recovery and to be crushing more of the routes" I offered him a PBR, we talked a few more minutes and he was gone. I tossed the fish head over the side and headed home to OK. A couple of days later I noticed a terrible smell in the garage. I followed my nose and there it was! A fish head he had somehow slipped into my chalk bag. JB

Eating the fish heads has definitely helped my recovery.

Thanks Aleks!

Chris Rice wrote:I've always wondered who he really is behind the internet persona? An 80 year old over the hill or perhaps a 15 year old crusher? Does he run his posts through several translators or is he just a resident alien and this is his second language? Most of you may actually know him - someone PM me some info on this colorful personality with whom we have such a love/hate relationship please.

I'm guessing he's just a regular ol' American citizen with a sense of humor. It's all an act. And a fun one, at that.

And where is he? Not in his very own tribute thread? That is crime, my bros and ladies.

climbing friend,

how dare you are insulting on me! for "internet persona" and saying I am not for realsies!>?!?!?!

I crush you!

I write for you a song, inspire by liking big butts and cannot do the lying, sir mixalot:

I like, big, arms, and I cannot do the lying.
your other brother he would not be denying.
when a climber walks in with itty bitty legs, and round guns in your face, they're STRONG! Want to pull up tough.
Cause you notice those arms are stuffed
deep in the shirt they're wearing
I would be hooked and I cannot stop the staring,
oh, baby, I would be liking to climb with ya,
and take your picture,
my homebbros they try to warn me,
those arms you got make me so horny,
oooh, arm o veiny skin,
you say you wanna get in my tacoma?
well utilize me, utilize me,
cause you aint that average climb er
I've seen him climbin'
to hell with socializin'
sweat, wet,
got it going like a astro van,

I'm tired of the magazine,
sayin' small arms and technique they are the thing,
take the average white man and ask him that,
you gotta buy an overly expensive pack ($300)
so climbers, yeah? climbers, yeah?
Does your partner got the guns?
you are telling 'em to shake it (shake it) shake it (shake it)
Shake those meaty guns

some climber like to hit it and quit it, yes myah
but i'd rather stay and play
my fingerboard hangs are long, and I'm strong, and I am down to be getting the friction on.
so climber, (yeah) climber, (yeah)
if you wanna roll my tacoma, (yeah)
turn around, taking the arms out,
even white boys they are having to shout
you can climb crack.

MYAH!!1!

My day is complete.

Nice work! This was legitimately hilarious to read.

Side comment: I smell a vegan! Good work bro!

"If truly desiring of great glory, eat only as plant-based "

Reading Aleks' "Big Arms" to the tune of Sir Mix a Lot just made my day LOL.

Loved it.